It's The Little Things

The little things in life are the most important - or infuriating.

I seem to be noticing more and more instances of dickhead-ness in general society.  Recently on Coronation Street a tram crashed on to the street.  SIX members of public contacted the Manchester Metrolink service enquiring if there would be any delays following the crash that they'd just seen on TV.  These people are out there every day, mingling amongst us.  Be aware.

Whilst driving to work in the freezing weather we had last week, BBC Radio Lancashire were telling us all about the traffic problems across the country, all very good.  However, the presenter went on to say "...and if you can't receive BBC Radio Lancashire, you can always check our website for the up to date travel situation".  I actually shouted "dickhead" at the radio.

I am having an ongonig spat with a corporate communications department at work.  I have never known a department communicate as badly as they do.  They have magazines and posters and big fuck off displays all over the place, but try and email them and see if you get a response!  9 times out of 10 you won't.  My latest gripe with them is about the hundreds of posters that have appeared all around our building telling us to turn the lights off.  With very very few exceptions, the whole building has sensors fitted so if nobody is there (or if you keep very still), the lights go off.  That is knob-headed enough of corporate comms, but they've gone a step further and produced a poster using glow in the dark ink!  What the bloody hell is the point of that?

Conversely, there are many little things in life that bring me much joy.  When my wife looks into my eyes.  She doesn't need to say a word, because I know what she's thinking - and it's beautiful.  The times when Luke randomly hugs me and tells me he loves me - those things money can't buy.  The little things that almost make me weep, and sometimes do, are the hugs I receive from my children as I drop them back off at Rhyl.

Music.  Music is an inconsequential thing to most people, but it brings me SUCH an array of emotions.  There are songs that make me smile like a tit, and there are others that will reduce me to tears.  How powerful is music?

And You Know What Else.....

Morning.

Yep, another night shift post, so stand by for the ramblings of a tired mind.

There is some properly lovely music out there isn't there?  I love shuffling my ipod and sitting back to enjoy what it sings for me.  If it sings a shit song (and sometimes it does), I mark it as one star and then delete it next time I synchronise it.  My logic behind it is that no song on my ipod should be shit enough to only merit one star.

On my way to work this evening I found myself stuck at a roundabout.  NObody was indicating so I could not safely pull out. People behind me were flashing, like they had some sort of connection with the non-indicating drivers and they just knew which way they were turning.  Fuckers.

I am on my second night of four. I have these two nights this week, then next week two days and one night before having five days off with my family.  I am very very excited about spending a night just myself and my beautiful wife at a hotel in Manchester.  We're going to visit the Christmas markets and drink that funny wein stuff and generally have an ace time!

In work at the moment, I am slightly fearful for my life.  I am working with a bloke who has been sectioned, one who should be sectioned and a third is working on a team across the way from me who is currently looking at very detailed photographs of guns on the internet.  Help!!

The weather is all weird at the moment.  It is consistently fucking freezing but it keeps kind of giving us a bit of snow then stopping, so now there are white bits at the side of the main road, which are frozen solid (it's minus seven degrees outside, according to the gun fanatic).  I LOVE a bit of snow, me.  I know it fucks the country up something rotten, but so long as my wife doesn't have to drive in it, I like it.  We had some proper snow in January this year.  Two highlights for me were using a pick axe to break through the two inch thick ice that formed on the road outside our house, and my naked snow angel in the back garden. 

Music Television is really bad.  I'm a thirty six year old man, and flicking through the various MTV channels (not just the MTV branded channels), there was absolutely nothing that appealed to me.  And then it hit me - AbsoluteTV.  Absolute Radio has spawned several baby radio stations this year - Absolute Classic Rock, Absolute 80s, Absolute Radio 90's, and the newest child in the fold - Absolute 00's (noughties).  There are two "obvious" decades missing from their lineup, but I'm guessing that would put them in more of a "gold" radio format territory and I'm not sure that is where they belong.  So for me, the next step has to be a music television channel. 

They could do it Howard Stern style (without the filth and depravity), and broadcast Christian O'Connell's breakfast show on the channel, before moving on to the best bits from their radio family throughout the day.  I genuinely think this could work.  I need to email someone so I can be told "oh yeah - that's ace.  now go away.".

I have tentatively offered Taxi services for tomorrow night.  Some of my "colleagues" from work are having a night out in Liverpool and it's quite a lucrative way of making a few pounds offering to pick them up and ferry them home.  A taxi would cost about £20, so I've said £15. I won't come close to using a gallon of fuel so will make over £10 profit for my efforts. 

I am going to suggest to my wonderful wife that we put our Christmas decorations up on Sunday afternoon / evening.  We can listen to Christmas songs whilst we do it - all three of us.  I can't wait!!  Must make sure we have blu-tac.

I am in to the last month of my daily photo blog.  I am very very looking forward to it finishing.  It's been difficult to keep motivated enough to do it of late.  I've taken to not blogging for several days, then posting a whole load at once.  I'm pleased I've done it, but I won't be doing anything similar to it soon.  That said, I can't help feeling like I'll be at a loose blogging end come January.  Who knows what 2011 will bring?!

Ok, I've gone on for aaaages now so I'll go and drink some hot chocolate.

See ya!

Baffled

Last night, we stayed at some friends of my wife's in Derby.  I was fed handsomely, and drank what I now know was too much.  I genuinely didn't think I'd drank LOADS and loads.  So I've been ill several times, and didn't eat a thing all day until about 5pm this afternoon - not at all like me.

My beautiful wife has made it clear to me that she's not impressed with the state of me today, and I agree with her completely.  My only defence is that it took me by surprise completely given that I really didn't think I'd drank as much as I must have done.

So, I am very looking forward to a month and a bit off.  We'd agreed to have  November off the booze, but I'm starting mine as of now.  I become a tit when drunk, and almost always wake up with regrets, mostly due to my silly behaviour. 

I hate upsetting my wife. She's my best friend, and I know I've upset her, which is crap.  I need to make it up to her.

Steps will be taken.

I am baffled as to how I've ended up with such a tremendous wife if I'm honest.  I have no clue what she sees in me. I have one HELL of a lot of baggage.  I'm fat, balding with lots of body hair. I ming.  If I take myself out of myself and look at me from the outside, I might be my friend.  No more than that, though.  I wouldn't want to visit me for a meal, or go out with me for a night out.

I'm already thinking of new years resolutions.  I'm thinking one of mine will be to tone myself up a little and try and give my wife something to love me for.

Everything But The Girl

Hey

Now, I don't see my children from my first marriage anywhere near as often as I'd like, but sometimes things happen and I miss them much more than usual.

Tonight, they are flying out to Spain with their mum and her partner and his children and god knows who else. Loads of them going. 

I have mixed feelings about this. I'm really pleased for them. I'm pleased that they're going to experience foreign lands, etc., but from a selfish point of view, I don't want them to go.  I want to them stay, I was going to say close to me, but they're not are they?  They live in Wales and I don't.  They're not close to me from day to day, so why should I miss them more now?

I've tried to contact my eldest daughter several times but her mobile is never switched on. I just want to tell her to be careful. I don't need to tell her, though - she is sensible.

My head is all over the place now I've started typing all this.  I'm thinking my problem with is is a lack of control, but what control do I have usually?  Little.  I don't know. I have no idea why I feel as stressed about it as I do.  I wish I was at home (and not at work, as I am now), so I could talk to my best friend about it.  She'd be able to help me for sure.

Now my ipod is playing "So Far Away" by Dire Straights.  Could not be more appropriate.

I need to get a grip.

Goodbye.

Wow

Hello.

I was thinking - should I start these posts with a Dear Diary kind of thing?  Maybe I will in future.

Anyway - we're back from our hols and what an ace time we had!  Gran Canaria was the last of the Canary Islands that I had to visit and it's just as lovely as the others (with Fuerteventura being the exception*).  We stayed a few miles away from the famous sand dunes at Maspalomas.  They are literally breathtakingly stunning.  It was one of those times when you have to doff your cap to nature and look in awe.

Maspalomas beach is famous for the dunes - and the nudity.  As you enter the beach from Maspalomas, the first few hundred metres are full of the usual beach types. Men in shorts and women in bikini's (some topless, but nothing unusual there).  However, venture down the beach a little and if you don't notice the sign telling you that you are entering the nudist area, you will eventually realise that nobody has got any clothes on!   Now - nudist area might conjure up images of a small section of beach with a few nudies in it - not so.  The beach is as busy, if not busier in the nudist area.

So - when in Rome and all that.  I whipped my t-shirt and shorts off and we continued to walk down the beach front with me all naked!  It was the first time I'd been in that situation and all I could say was how liberating and completely natural it felt.  Many people associate nudity with sex, and that is the big mistake.  It just isn't like that at all.  It's just so natural, relaxing, comfortable, and other words like that.  Whilst, of course, you do look (or notice) the boobs, bums and genitalia, you become very aware that it's not about the body beautiful - it's just about the body natural.  Everyone has parts of their body that they're not happy with, and none of that matters because you're not "on parade", which brings me back to it not being sexual.

Ok - rant over...a short walk further and you notice that the nudey people are now predominately men.  The area has a very large gay scene and this is where they (quite literally) hang out during the day!  After a while we turned back to walk back towards Maspalomas.  The beach does lead round to our resort, but it's a bloody long way!

I thoroughly enjoyed my first beach nude experience, and hope I'll have further opportunities to do it again in the future.

One other thing that I was very very impressed / proud of, was that Luke didn't once comment on the fact that everyone was naked.  That goes to show me that he doesn't see nudity as anything unusual, and I'm pleased with his outlook in that respect.

Ok - I'm going to finish my drink and go to bed.  Nighty night!


*  I LOVE Fuerteventura and I'd be quite happy to holiday there for a good few years to come!

Wide Open

It was fed back to me recently, that my other Blogger blog is becoming more like a diary, and less like a way of achieving my ambition of taking one photo a day and publishing it on line.  As soon it was mentioned, i knew it was right.

As you may know from reading this blog, I do go on a bit sometimes, and that's ok - here.  The other blog is not the place for it.  On top of that, my Twitter and Facebook lives have started going the same way.  I was almost laying my life, and that of my family, wide open for anyone and everyone to see.

For those who really know me (and that's nobody as no bugger reads this!), you will know that deep down I am shy.  On reflection, I never saw Facebook or Twitter as.... reality.  I protect my profiles on both of them so if you are Tom, Dick or Harry you can't look at them.  Based on that, I gave myself a false sense of security and almost felt that I could comfortably post anything I liked, not only about me, but about my family, too.  It is for that reason that I haven't tweeted or said anything on Facebook for a few days now.  I have taken stock and I shall approach them in a different way from now on.

In my real life, I have always been guilty (if it's a crime), of befriending people too easily.  I will meet someone and work with them for a short time, and believe that they are good friends.  It's not always the case.  Being honest - sometimes it IS the case, but other times, not.  I have transferred that "crime" to the virtual world, too.  I have followed complete strangers on Twitter - people I've never ever met, and they have followed me back.  We've had discussions about all sorts of things, and in my head - I had got to the point where I thought these people were my friends.

Now, because access to my profiles is restricted and also because of how choosy I am, these people might actually be really nice, and would make lovely friends in real life.  But it's the difference between real life and my virtual life, that has become a bit grey.  So - I'm not going to close my Facebook and Twitter accounts, but - I do intend to "hold off" a bit on there.

Whilst typing all this shiz, it's got me thinking as to why I felt the need to be everyone's friends, and to hold people close to me and consider them friends.  Having analysed myself, it comes back to me being one of the following.  Too trusting - easily led - desperate, and generally yearning for affirmation from everyone I come in to contact with.  I'm proper weird, me.  I might need to speak to someone.

Faith

Boo!

So - George Michael, or to give him his actual name, Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou, is going to live in Pentonville Prison for the next four weeks.  He smoked one hell of a lot of cannabis, then went out for a drive in his Range Rover and crashed it into Snappy Snaps after apparently blacking out.  Well done George.  Well done more to the person who wrote "Wham" on the wall of the shop he crashed in to.  Most amusing.

Pope Benedict XVI visits the UK tomorrow.  I remember standing on the streets of Liverpool with my mum and dad in 1982 to catch a glimpse of Pope John Paul II.  It was billed as a tremendous moment in my life and one not to be forgotten.  To give my parents credit - I haven't.  The whole place seemed to be filled with such love, and happiness it was quite strange for me as an eight year old to understand.  John Paul II seemed like such a lovely, warm man - and everybody thought so.  Not so, for Benedict XVI.


Before being inaugurated as Pope in 2005, Cardinal Joseph Alois Ratzinger was head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (CDF), an institution set up by the Catholic church to deal with child abuse by Catholic priests.  He had exposure to how widespread this problem was like nobody else before him because before the creation of the CDF, child abuse allegations had been dealt with at diocese level.  Almost all of a sudden, the Catholic church and Cardinal Ratzinger in particular, could see the full, disgusting picture.

The way the church chose to deal with these disgusting individuals was to move them.  Remove them from their parish, and move them elsewhere.  Not go to the authorities and say "we've got a bad one here, chief", no - just move them on. 

I was brought up a Catholic. I served as an altar boy for many years. My beautiful mother rediscovered her Catholic faith in a huge way in the early 1980's, and that gave her tremendous strength and belief, which no doubt helped her through the darkest of times whilst she fought cancer.  It is because of that - that I find myself in a difficult place right now.  I have always called myself a Catholic. I don't attend mass with any regularity - not at all if the truth be told, but I know that when I fill forms out and it asks for religion or faith, I always tick the Catholic box.  I'm not sure I can do that anymore.  Faith is about having faith in something - believing in something.  How can I say that I believe in the teachings and ways of a church that has - and let's be blunt about it - covered up known instances of child abuse.  Not only that - the current Pope was responsible for some of those cover ups!

It pains me to say, but - I'm putting my faith on hold.  I am fully aware that I am judging the whole church by the actions of a tiny minority, but one of those minority is sitting at the top of that very rich, very powerful, and was I perceive to be very corrupt church.

I'm sorry mum, but at the moment - even in the smallest of ways like ticking a box, I can't be part of a religious group like that.

I know that if mum was still around, she'd want to sit down and talk with me about this.  I await that chat - however she wants to do it.

Two In One Day

At my age, too!

I've had second thoughts. I think I still need something like this to speak at.

I currently have old photo's from my childhood and some of them have made me well up.  It's the one's featuring my parents from before I was born. I want to ask questions about them. Who was that couple with you? Where was that taken? WHEN was that taken.  Another photo just came up. Me, aged about 6 or 7 in a field with cows in it. I've NO idea where or when it was taken.  The only two people who know the answers have gone - and it fucking hurts.

Day to day stuff is fine-  I can cope a-ok with that. But now and again things like this crop up, and I hate it.

Chasing Clouds

Hiya!

It's been a while hasn't it?  How are you?  How's the family?  Work ok?  Good. Me?  I've been keeping busy, you know.

Whilst driving home from work the other day, I was driving along a stretch of road that runs between two villages.  I could see the edge of a cloud reflecting on the road, in front of me.  I calculated that the cloud was moving at about 30 miles per hour.  I slowed down, just so I could literally chase the cloud. It was - for me - beautiful. I love nature. It's magnificent.

We're going on our summer holidays this weekend.  Up to Blackpool with my children in a caravan for a week.  Staying at a site that we've stayed at many times before. Now that might seem dull and predictable, but it means that my children can have some freedom on the site.  Freedom to come and go pretty much as they please. If they want to go up to the arcade for a bit - they can - because they know the site so (hopefully) they won't get lost.

Luke just sang a song to me the lyrics of which were along the lines of "I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I can't wait to see my brothers and sisters on my holiday because I love them. I'm so happy, I'm so happy".  He is so happy and very very excited!  Bless him.

My laptop has been an arse for me this last week. I've re-installed Windows on it three times. I'm getting a bit (lot) pissed off with it now.

My blogs are so so so shit it's upsetting me.  I might mothball this effort until the new year.  My one a day blog has completely sapped my words.  Or - maybe I don't actually need this anymore.  My head is still weird and messed up, but not AS messed up as it was when I started this blog.  Maybe I'm "OK" now?  Relatively speaking, of course.

Hmmmm.. Ok, so this might be the end of the road for anything close to a regular update on this blog.

Thanks for viewing & sorry I've bored you shitless.  T'ra.

Repression

Hi

So my daughter is finally here for a visit, which is nice - I'm pleased.  I know it's an age thing, but I hardly ever see her because she just camps out in her room with her psp chatting on facebook.

My hair is fucked.  It's such a state.  My lovely wife clippered me tonight because it was so bad. I have a ridiculous hairline which produces a V at the front and goes all wonky at the back.  I am SO tempted to clip it right back, but I look like an AIDS victim when it's like that.

My children have no manners.  They're not nasty, they just don't naturally use please and thank you.  We've done loads for them the last few days and a little bit of gratitude wouldn't go a miss.  I don't want them to be grateful for every little thing I do because some things you just do as a parent, but just occasionally to acknowledge hard work would be nice.

I like being nude.  Or rather - I'm comfortable being nude.  Nude around the house.  Nude on holiday.  I'll never shy away from a nude dare.  I have no hang-ups with nudity.  Now, I'm no adonis, not even close to one, but for me, nudity isn't about having the perfect body and showing it off.  It's not about anyone else - it's about me.  I cannot explain (and I've thought about it a lot today) why I feel so comfortable about nudity.  As a child, I am not aware that my parents were care-free in anyway when it came to nudity.  My lovely wife, however - does not feel the same. I don't mean she's prudish about her body because she's not.  She just doesn't want to be nude as often as me! :-)  I love every part of my wife's body and my view is "it's a shame" that she doesn't feel the same way I do.  Hmmmm.  One to ponder for me.

I'm tired and cranky and short tempered today. All in all - an arse to live with. Sorry to those sharing a house with me.

Who'd Have Thunk It

Well - I think I jinxed myself with my last, somewhat morose post.

My daughter did not come to stay this weekend.  She went to the cinema to watch Twilight with her friends, instead.  Fair enough.  However, when I dropped my other children off with their mother this evening, she told me that my daughter has.... a boyfriend.

I took it all very well at the time, but driving home I quite literally was in a daze.  I know she's months off being 14, but - just - no. No.  Not my Abbey.  I feel ridiculous because I feel so ... upset.  She is obviously very happy and this is her first love. We all remember our first love's and it's such a special time.  That said, I'm still not a single bit happy about it.

I need to dwell for a few more minutes then do some exercises.

Hmmmm.

Woah!

Hello there singular reader

So today I found out that a girl who I used to work with has gone to jail for dealing drugs.  I say drugs, I don't mean a bit of weed. Serious drugs.  Heroin and Cocaine.  It might seem trivial, but I don't know how to feel about this.  See, I liked Ali (I seem to be using the past tense?). We worked together for several years and she was always always full of beans, bubbly and anyone having a down day, she'd cheer them up.

Back in the days when going to the pub for lunch was seen as normal, we spent many lunchtimes together (with others).  She'd back-packed round Australia and it was her dream to return there to live.  She absolutely adored the place.  She won't be able to do that now.  She won't be able to do so many things.  She left my employer because she got a job paying more working on the Wirral. She had a good job. She had been with her boyfriend for years and years and loved him to bits.  He's gone and another bloke became her boyfriend.  They're both in jail now.  I was talking to a friend from work about Ali today and we agreed that above all else - it is so sad, and such a shame. Such a waste.

On a slight tangent... We are having my children to stay this weekend and I'm silly happy about it.  Well - I was.  My wife just pointed out that my eldest daughter has posted on Facebook saying that her and two friends have tickets booked to see Eclipse at the cinema.  It might not be this weekend, but I'd be bloody surprised if it's not.  The thought upsets me, but I know it's something I have to deal with. She's 14 in September and I totally understand what it's like to be that age. She will have friends that she wants to go out with. Not boys though. No. No. No no no no no.  Seriously, though.  This is a really important time in my relationship with her.  This is the time I have to let my baby girl go, and hope that she'll come back one day. I've made it sound worse than it probably is, but you get my point.

I feel like my live is changing.  Maybe that's not such a big revelation. Life is a constant evolution. Everything changes - all the time.

Whilst I have given her the choice to make about whether or not she comes to stay here, the more often she doesn't, the harder it is.  Right now, if she isn't here tomorrow, I think I may cry.  If she is - I still might cry.  Different emotions - same tears.

I feel low right now.  It's probably for the best that I end this post.

Until next time.

Facets

Boo!


Thought I'd put in an appearance over here. It's been a proper long time since the last blog I did on here - which seems to be normal now.

I've just watched the last episode in day 7 of 24, and it was a good one!  It ended by highlighting the incredible bond between a father and a daughter.  Particularly poignant at the moment.

I have just spent 15 mins stood on the roof of the building I work in.  Not in a suicidal way, I hasten to add.  It is lovely up there. We have a roof garden and I love going up there at night.  It is so peaceful, and on a clear night like tonight, to stand there and see the stars shining, and the planes making approaches to land at Liverpool and Manchester, is very relaxing indeed.  I could spend a lot of time up there.

It's another facet of my personality that doesn't get used that often.  I like to reflect.  That's kind of what I've used this blog for I suppose.  But to stand alone and reflect in complete silence is an amazing feeling.

I've been doing a fair bit of tweeting recently.  I had 2 replies from Liz McClarnon which pleased me (although I will admit to hamming it up a little for effect).  I've also come across a lady on twitter who calls herself lady godiva.  She's a nudey and has a fantastic attitude to it.  She has been on telly (Sky Arts I think it was) when they did an all night live broadcast from London featuring different people on a plinth for an hour each.  Her hour was her, nude, on a rocking horse, "educating" people about attitudes to nudity.  As you may, or may not be aware, I feel completely cool about nudity and it doesn't  phase me a bit being in that state.  I have no idea where this woman lives or what she does, but she is amusing and interesting so she shall remain on my list of followers.

I feel well rough this evening.  My stomach feels rock hard and I feel a bit ill with it.  I didn't have any food before I came to work tonight and I still dont' feel at all hungry, which isn't like me.  Weird.  I probably need a great big crap.  I'll keep you posted on that one, eh?

We watched Jason Manford on tv in work earlier and I was surprised at how funny I found him.  In my had, I had decided that he was a bit annoying and I wasn't going to like him. I stand corrected.

I might have finished this blog entry for now.  I'll save and publish, but there might be more to follow. Not sure.....

Peer To Peer

Erm... Hello?

Thought it was about time I wrote something on here.  I really do blame the other blog for zapping all my blogginess.  Anyway, at least I have somewhere to come that doesn't involve me posting photo's every day!

At the weekend just gone, we attended Phil's 50th birthday party. It was - superb.  Just about everyone there had a grand old time and celebrated way into the early hours.  The next day, however, Deb and I were good for nothing.  The joys of getting old (and out of practise!)

Deb joined slimming world on Monday and has introduced a new diet, or rather, a new way of eating.  I don't mean like ingesting food up her nose or anything, it's more of a new way of thinking when it comes to food.  I, too, have become a little more health conscious.  I will now admit that my middle is slightly larger than it used to be.  So, in my own way, I'm doing something about it.  I'm never going to proudly announce that I've lost 2 stone in the last week or anything like that, but - I recognise that it is too big, and I'm dealing with it.  My wife has been excellent regarding my taking part in the healthy eating business.  I will be honest, I was worried that she'd be on my back about it and I knew that that would have the opposite effect. As it is, she's ace. She herself is doing really well thus far and we've had some lovely healthy meals this week. 

I went swimming last week and loved it!  Well, I would have loved it more if it hadn't been full of pensioners complaining about how full it was!  I am also toying with possibly maybe riding my bike to work occasionally?  I did it a few years ago (rode to my sisters which is a stones throw from work), and it did almost kill me.  Maybe next time, I'll ride a tad slower.

Last week, I went for a hair cut at Dads and Lads in Springfield (not the Simpsons one).  The lady barber was chatting away about nothing, as usual, and when she'd almost finished, she asked me a question that I have never ever been asked before. I didn't know how to respond to it. I was literally lost for words.  She said "would you like me to trim your eyebrows, love?".  She must have seen the puzzled look on my face because without me speaking, she acknowledged it was no, and started brushing hairs off my neck instead.  The more I think about it, the more puzzled I am.  I'm hardly Denis Healey!

Had a proper panic in work the other day.  The "wiki" that I have developed over the last almost two years resides on quite an old server, and it died.  A man drove from Liverpool to Salford at 4am to try and fix it, but it was not to be.  Fortunately, later in the day, a man and a woman went from Manchester to Salford and they were able to fix it for me.  I was very worried.

On Sunday (the day before slimming world), we had a Peters tea (the local Chinese).  It's only a few minutes walk from our house, so I did just that.  As I got near the corner where it is, I passed a parked car.  A man got out of the drivers seat, and opened the rear door. He asked the female occupant of the vehicle what drink she wanted. I didn't hear her response, and to this day, I am still baffled as to what it must have been for him to retort "Shut the fuck up before I jizz in your eye", as he slammed the door shut and made his way up to the Chinese.  What could she have said to angered him to that level???

Right. My lunch is over, and my lemonade is gone. Time for me to go and do something with the front garden. If it was up to me, I'd burn it, but my wife wants something slightly more... traditional.  Grass.

Until next time....

Interest And Rejection

Morning reader

Just a quick post for now.  I've had about 5 hours sleep after being awake for 20 hours, so I'm suitably tired for my afternoon nap before my night shift tonight!

I've just found some websites that will monitor your twitter followers (I'm @adum by the way), and tell you who un-followed you.  I almost signed up for one, but I'm not sure I could cope with the rejection.  I had noticed that someone un-followed me and that set me off looking.

Whilst mooching round on tinternet last night, I came across another website that has listings for this very blog you're reading.  People over at www.wikio.com actually seem to read this blog sometimes and several people have clicked the "like" button next to it.  My "ranking" is increasing all the time, although I don't know what this means. It certainly looks good, though.

So yeah - rejection and interest all in one blog.

I said it'd be quick today and that is that.


Until next time!

Hairy Times

Hi there

Sorry it's been a while.  It's always been a while hasn't it?  Hmmm.

We watched a programme on tv the other night called A Passionate Woman.  It was a two-parter starring Billie Piper and Sue Johnston and it was absolutely fabulous.  It told a story about regrets.  A young woman had an affair with a man she fell passionately in love with, but he got killed.  As the woman grew older, the regret ate away at her and sent her a bit mental. Deb and I agreed that we would not go mental because of regrets in our old age.  I love my Deb.

However, she fell down the stairs last week holding our Luke.  Luke banged his arm and Deb bruised her arse...

"Ouch"

Poor bruised wife.

Last week - in fact, exactly a week since, we gave Luke a hair cut.  He looked like a proper scruffy tramp so we decided that rather than subject professional hairdressers to his screaming, we'd tackle it at home.  Out came the trusty hair clippers and about 20 mins later, a tidy (ish) haired boy emerged.  He claims it hurt loads, but I think otherwise.

Speaking of hair cuts, I am noticing more and more grey hairs.  Around my ears, on my chest, and, of course - pubes.  I'm not massively bothered by it on my head. I must have mentioned before, I am looking forward to going grey as I will look distinguished and interesting.  Grey chest hairs - hmmmm. Not too sure about that.  Maybe when we retire to the Canary Islands and I have a tan like David Dickinson, maybe then - they'll look ok.  Pubes?  Just ridiculous.  If I was brave enough I'd wax.

Been working WELL hard on the garden during the last few days.  Got a load of photo's over at OneADayFor365Days blog of my progress.  As a result, my back is knackered and my shoulders hurt quite a lot.  I also burned my lip and tongue on one bloody hot chip this evening.  I was fortunate to have an icy cold can of Blackthorn to hand to ease my distress.

I am on day 5 of my 6 off and I can honestly say that I think this is the most productive 6 off I've ever had.  It started with a visit from my lovely children (minus Abbey), which was ace. Weather was perfect and our new barbecue was christened.  Lessons were learned from that, by the way. Following that, we had a relaxing Sunday evening with an Indian (meal, not person).  Monday saw the start of the garden refurb and tomorrow will see me getting Deb's Corsa valeted.  I can't remember what occasion I promised her I'd get it done for, but at least it's finally being done!

Right, that'll be that then - I'll do another of these sometime soon.

Be young, be foolish, but remember to be happy.

Goodbye reader...

Happy & Sad Easter

Today has been a lovely day. It's Easter Sunday and all the people in the world who are THE most important to me, have been with me today.

The day went beautifully.  The children played, I did a beltin' roast pork lunch, we then went to Haigh Hall and played some more before coming home to watch Everton on TV.  The children went back late, and arrived in Rhyl shortly after 7pm.  It was my lovely wife's suggestion that I take them back late, and it was inspired.  Those extra few hours made such a difference to the day.

After I'd dropped them off, and was driving home, I got upset.  It's been ages since I got upset after saying goodbye to them, but for some reason, today was the day.  If I'd been asked at the time why I was upset, I'm not sure I could have said why.  I had a think about it, and I think it's because today was so nice, and then I had to take them back.  That, coupled with Luke being absolutely devastated about them going back - hurt me.

I then got to thinking about how lucky I am to have such lovely people.  I absolutely adore my wife, she is beautiful and I don't think I give her the credit she deserves.  She can be moody at times, but she's never moody just "because".  It's almost always to do with stress caused in her job.  My children are fantastic, too.  I am very proud of how balanced Abbey and Robert are.  Charlotte constantly reminds me of my mum.  Matthew is a loon, but a very caring one.  Luke thinks he's the boss of us all.  To be fair to him, I can understand why. He isn't though.  I am most proud of the fact that none of my children are "naughty".  They are messy, but so am I.  They are good children and I love them dearly.

Today has also made me think a lot about Christianity.  I realise that the bible is a collection of works that tell various moral stories, but Jesus born of an immaculate conception?  Even back to "the beginning" - Adam and Eve.  None of it makes sense, yet week in, week out, millions of people all over the world go to churches and worship the character of Jesus Christ.  Now, I was an alter boy in my younger years, so I'm absolutely not Jesus bashing, I'm just explaining that I've questioned a lot of stuff today. Stuff that you just accept as a youngster.

If you treat the bible, as I said earlier, like a book of moral guidelines, fair enough.  It now also seems hypocritical to turn up at churches for baptisms/christenings, weddings, and funerals, but I will continue to do it.  Ignore me, I'm just feeling weird at the moment.

I just had two spam fritters for my supper. Haven't had them in years!!  I have missed them. 

I shall go now - until next time.

See ya.

Damp

Evening

I should be in work tonight (as I was last night), but due to unforseen circumstance, I am not.

I dropped Luke off at Helen's this morning, only to be called to collect him about 30 mins later.  (10 mins after i'd gone to bed)  The poor little man had been sick a few times so Helen, quite rightly, suggested he come home.

As you'd expect, he made a complete, somewhat miraculous recovery within about an hour of coming home.

In this time, Deb had contacted her mum to come and look after Luke whilst I went to bed.  At about 10:30, whilst we were sat waiting, I heard a gush of water from upstairs.  I rushed up to find water pouring in from the ceiling in the Girls bedroom.  I got towels and put them down on the floor and flew outside to get a bucket to catch the remaining water.  the ceiling had bowed and the paper on it had an 8" tear in it where the water was escaping from.

I rang the CIS with whom we are insured and it is currently in their hands.

The resulting to-ing and fro-ing meant that I actually was in bed for a total of 2 hours 20 minutes, having taken two telephone calls during my bed-time.  Surprisingly, however, I feel ok at the moment.  I can't understand why, but I do feel a-ok.

I deliberately didn't tell Deb about it whilst she was at work, to avoid any unneccessary alarm or distress.  She's due home any minute and I'll tell her then.

OK - so she got home and was fine with things. Deb actually suggested a way we are able to get it temporarily repaired quicker than monday. I do love my wife.

The co-op shop was WELL wet this evening when I went. Well, outside it was, anyway.  Have a look...

So tomorrow I will be taking the corsa to be fixed, arranging for the roof to be fixed, and then letting Sandra go home so I can take full care of Luke again.  I'm also going to move the beds in the girls' room down into the playroom until the ceiling has been sorted out by CIS.

Update over....

About Time Too!

I haven't posted on here for such a long time and most days, I kick myself for not doing so.  It's made me feel like I was at school again, and I'd always leave my homework until 10pm on a sunday night then do it and it'd be shit.  The only difference here is that I have no deadlines to meet.

I hope this isn't shit, though.

I am now convinced that my lack of blogging here is due to my daily blogging here.  I see things on a daily basis that rile me and vex me, and I used to come here so often to vent and it'd be make me feel better.  Well I've decided that now is a good time. It's sunday afternoon and I'm in work (on a break), so it's as good a time as any.

Tomorrow, I am going to be told that the building I currently work in is to close in two years time and we're moving to a fancy new one, somewhere in Skelmersdale.  We can see only one reasonable location at White Moss Park, so we'll have to see what comes of that.  I doubt very much that I'll learn anything other than what is freely available on the grapevine tomorrow, but if I do, I'll do my best to pop back and update you.

In the last month I've had an Ultrasound and an MRI scan.  Ultrasound because my belly has been hurting a lot near to where I had a hernia years ago.  The scan revlealed nothing abnormal.  So I went back to my GP who has told me to consume loads of Omeprazole tables until further notice.  Only been taking them for four days now, and I am not in the same sort of pain at all.

The MRI was marvellous to have done.  It, too revealed nothing weird going on in my head.  Weird things do go on in my head, but nothing physical is abnormal.  I was only having that done because I was having a fair few dizzy spells at the tail end of last year.  I've not had any for weeks and weeks now and I'm beginning to feel like a bit of a fraud.  I shall not chase that one up.

The power in the building I'm in has just gone off twice in 2 minutes.  Then the fire alarms went off.  We had a good think about weather or not we could be arsed walking down five flights of stairs and then go and stand on the other side of the car park.  We decided not to.  The alarms eventually stopped and I rang the (to be fair) moron security guard.  He told me he thought there might be a fire on the third floor but said it was probably due to the alarms going off.  We really are in safe hands here.

It's Easter next weekend and snow is forecast this week.  It says for Northern England.  It really does mean Northern though. Newcastle, Carlisle, that sort of North.  I maintain that we live in the North Midlands here.  It's a frigging long way North until you fall into Scotland.

I am starting to yearn for things I used to do that I don't do any more.  Things like my scanner. I spent just under £300 10 years ago and it is/was ace.  I still have it, and it still works.  I used to listen to the local constabularies on it but now they, like us, have gone digital so that's a no go.

I have also had desires to use a CB radio. I owned one of these for many years.  My handle was "glo-worm".  My 4 watt broadcasts could be heard all over the north west.  It was in the era of pre-internet. In a time when people actually spoke to each other.  Night after night I'd go "on the rig" and speak to all the friends I'd made on there. You would help taxi drivers or lorry drivers wtih directions round town, too.  Yes it's sad and geeky, but that sums me up quite well.

I also had a dabble at some DJ'ing a few weeks ago and that blew my mind. I loved it SO much, and it made me want to DJ again.  Being realistic though, you'd need to earn a fair bit of money to make it a viable venture. And you'd be out EVERY weekend evening or you're losing money.  Shades Disco. RIP.

My idea for a disco would be from a "classic hits, with no R&B" point of view.  Maybe not excluding every R&B track, but there would be veeery few. I think that offering soemthing like that would be good. I think people would want that.  A few weeks ago during a lull in work I priced up DJ equipment. New, albeit.  In the region of £2500-£3000 to get a half decent set up.  It's not happening is it?

I've gone on for a while now, so sorry.

I've made the website look a bit more 70's with a new template and fancy wallpaper. Hope you like it.

I am gonig to go and get some vimto and get ready to go home to my beautiful wife and child.  Then tonight, I shall sleep on my new memory foam pillow. Ace.

T-ra!

Just... Well - disappointing

That's the way I feel about things at the moment.  Work has been a pisser recently and I haven't seen much of my wife during the last few days.

I'm in work now (on a break) and when I finish at 7 it's home to bed then up for midday, prepare lunch for me and Luke, then off to Wales to collect my children who are with us for the forthcoming weekend.

I am considering moving this blog to Wordpress, from it's current host of Blogspot.  I am also toying with Tumblr, which is supposed to be aesthetically very pleasing indeed.  I'll have a mess with each and get back to you with the outcome....

Inside My Own Head

Greetings

I had an MRI scan today.  I may have mentioned it already, but if not, I had it because I've been having dizzy spells for a few months.  I loved my MRI scan.  It made a low, rhythmic "thumping" sound througout the whole 20 minutes I was in there. Really enjoyed it.  I only hope I enjoy the results as much.

I collected our new car today, too.  It's well nice, it is.  To the untrained eye it looks identical to our previous Zafira, but this has 5 spoke 18" wheels and the last one had 6 spoke 17".  This has a panoramic glass roof (with electric blinds inside!), and this does not have any model badges. i.e. it does not say Sri on the side.  Oh - and it's a 1.8 petrol, instead of a 1.9 diesel.  I like it. A lot.

Luke has decided that he's going to be shy when it comes to using the potty.  He can't do anything on it if you watch him.  Not that we sit watching him, but even in my peripheral vision, I can see him looking at me to see if I'm looking at him.  As a result, he point blank refused to use it at his childminders house yesterday, favouring instead, to soak three sets of underpants, trousers and socks.  Things have changed today and he's done a wee on it. Well done lad - it's the future, that. 

I stumbled across what I think is my first ever blog today. I'd totally forgotten I'd done it.  Even whilst reading it - I was thinking "are these words mine?". How very strange. Have a peek here if you want. Not much too it so it'll not waste too much of your time.

Luke and I are off to Wales tomorrow to collect my children.  He is SO excited about it - as am I to be honest.

Got some ironing and playroom tidying and car getting ready to be done before we leave - all of which I'm looking forward to completing.

I'm tired now and I am distracted by this episode of Silent Witness which has proved to be very good.

Until next time - namaste

All The Latest Goings On

Hey

Ok, so a quick catch up.  After going through everything we went through with the IVF, it failed.  Quite spectacularly actually.  My beautiful wife produced follicles, but there wasn't a single egg in any of them. This is despite her being on the highest dose of medicine to stimulate them into producing lots of eggs.  We were told on the day that this happens once, maybe twice a year, but there is no one explanation as to why it happens.  We're going back to see the consultant on Tuesday to discuss things further with him.

Our Zafira car is going to be sold as soon as is feasibly possible.  It has developed yet another fault with it's turbo charger which will cost in the region of £900 to fix. That, along with a full set of brakes and tyres is a bit too much. Brakes and tyres are a given, but If I spent the money to put them on, I'd only be waiting for the car to break again.  So we're going to go an look at a few cars this weekend and see if any take our fancy!

Google have released a new product in the last few days called "Buzz".  It's a new social networking sharing links and pics affair.  Do we need it though?  I am struggling to keep on top of my online social life with Facebook and Twitter. I'm not sure I need a Buzz in it, too.

Luke is doing REALLY well with his potty training.  Have a look at my other blog for more details of that, along with his amazing gift to be able to shit numbers!  Awesome.

Luke's child-minder, Helen, is off sick at the moment and it's a proper pain in the arse at the moment.  Not the girls fault, obviously, she's recovering after having some sort of operation. I'm not sure what, but I'd love to know!

I've had my new phone for a month and a half now and I've only just worked up how to upload photo's to twitter from it.  I disappointed myself by taking so long to work it out. Dammit.

Speaking of my lovely Samsung Jet phone, my lovely wife has taken the plunge and binned O2 off in favour of the splendid Virgin Mobile, and she too, will be the owner of a Jet in the next few days.

I'm in work at the moment and it's dull. However, I need to wee, so I'll go and do that.


Speak soon kids, speak soon.

Frustrating & Scary Times

Evening

I feel compelled to write because I'm well stressed tonight.  We started our final course of IVF yesterday.  Medication has been mixed and my lovely wife's belly has been stabbed a few times.  Then this afternoon she got a call from the clinic querying something that we know is ok but they don't think is ok.  We are under the care of a consultant who himself has had to go into hospital so is going to be away from the clinic for a few weeks. Whilst I appreciate his predicament - it doesn't help us.  As with "normal" pregnancies - stress should be to a minimum, and it's not.

Luke's being a complete arse this evening. He's being proper cheeky and refusing to do anything that is asked of him.

After waking up this afternoon, I moved all the furniture in the lounge and dining room out of it's place and dusted, mopped, and dis-infected everywhere in an attempt to deter that horrible bastard mouse.  Anyway - within an hour of finishing it, it was running round again. Fucker.

My lovely wife has taken to watching So You Think You Can Dance.  I admit, I did not sit down and watch the whole episode, nor have I watched it from the start, but my god - what a complete load of shite.

Luke has really started to develop his imagination over the last week or so.  This evening, he sat relaying a conversation between some of his engines. It was lovely.

Oh - gossip. Some bloke was shot in the face on the land behind our house earlier on today.  I say behind - if you leave our house and turn right - just up there. The police knocked (not all of them - just one) earlier to ask if I'd seen anything. I hadn't - so she want off in search of the perpetrator.

Whilst ironing my way through a mountain of clothes earlier, I was listening to my ipod. It threw out two "excellent" songs.  They were....

And the rather cheesy.....

Ah the memories......

Weird Night

Morning all.

I had a weird night last night. Went to work at 7pm for a night shift but quickly started to feel "iffy".  By midnight I felt no better so decided to come home.  I thought it would be good to stay up all night because I'm due in work again tonight, so that way I'd still be in "night shift" mode.

Got home about 12:30 and had a quick chat with my lovely wife who was in bed.  I then chatted with friends online for a few hours before they all (sensibly) went to bed. Luke woke so I went up to see to find him in bed with my lovely wife. I said I'd let him fall asleep there (he was wide awake) and then go back up to move him.

I came back downstairs and watched Johnny Cash at San Quentin before drifting in and out of sleep for the rest of the night. And completely forgetting to put Luke back in his bed.  It was such a weird night because each time I'd doze (for a matter of minutes each time), I was having really vivid dreams about being a child again.  A recurring theme seemed to be that there was a car park barrier across the front door to my mum and dad's house and I couldn't get in. Very weird indeed.

Right - bacon butty time for me and Luke!

See ya!

Stinky Feet!

I am rubbish at doing this blog.

I've typed and deleted and typed and deleted so many times - just to get to this stage.

My problem is that I am running another blog:- http://oneadayin2010.blogspot.com which I am updating every day and it just seems to be using all my blog-energy.  I just don't know what to do !!

So - an update on my life during the last two weeks.  work is so-so.  Same old stuff re-hashed and presented to us as the next big thing.

This is all wrong. I feel like i'm forcing myself to do this and it's never been the case so far. I've made a few posts because i felt I had to, but i've always (just about) managed to squeeze something out to say.  I feel completely empty at the moment, though.

My children are with us from Wales at the moment and that is lovely.  3 of the 4 are, anyway. My eldest daughter didn't feel well so stayed in Rhyl.  Luke is properly over the moon to see them all. All 4 of them sat on the couch last night watching Forrest Gump, and Luke leaned into Matthew and said "I love you Matthew boy". He then leaned into Charlotte and said "I love you Charlotte girl".  I could have melted right there.  I feel so proud that they love each other so bloody much.  I see scally kids in the street assaulting each other and generally being little bastards towards each other and it upsets me. I'm not saying mine are like the von-traps or anything, but i think they are above averagely well behaved! :-)

My lovely wife treated us all to a Taybarns lunch today and it was ace. I was the most restrained I've been in all my visits to Taybarns, having only 3.5 main courses and no desert.  Well done me.  The children really enjoyed it and I was (again) proud that they each thanked Debbie without any prompting from me.

My middle son - his feet proper reek.  God bless him, he's only 8 so his foot hygiene is still developing.  I've squirted fabreeze in his shoes and bathed him in my lovely minty shower gel stuff tonight. he is a minty boy now.

Ok. I've said stuff, but I haven't gone on for ages, and I actually do feel like I got into the swing of it towards the end.  Sorry it's been another shitty post. I really will try harder. I think of loads of things to mention on here, but I never make notes of them at the time. I must use the voice recorder thing on my phone to keep notes.

I am such a sad wanker.

New Year, New........

.....Stuff.


Hello reader

So here we are in a very very frozen Britain.  I loved day one of the big snow fall of 2010.  I got a fair few pics, which can be seen at my new "Take One A Day In 2010" blog.  I am being a bit more "public" on that blog. I regularly post links to it from Facebook and I don't mind who sees it.   This is more, well not private, but... not publicised.  It's not that I'm particularly hiding it. Well I am - a bit.

Aaaaanyway - let's move on.

I'm a bit pissed off with the adverse weather - well - I'm on the cusp of being pissed off with it.  If it wants to shit a load more snow down on us, then so be it.  We had about 18 hours non stop - which was beautiful - thanks, god.  But now - it's all bloody frozen. It's minus pissing loads at the moment and I have to go to work in the morning.  It's forecast for minus eight tonight.  That is too cold. There is no need for minus eight.  I have two cars to defrost and make drive-able in the morning, too.  My wife has to deliver our son to the childminders (fortunately just round the corner), and then get her lovely arse up to Bolton.  I shall be attempting a cross-country drive to Skem - in a Corsa.  Can't wait!

2010 has been a funny year so far.  I can't quite get used to it being a new year.  It normally takes me until February sort of time to accept it's a new year.  From March to May is a bugger. That drags.  May onwards to August flies and then it all slows down down down until November - when it speeds up again.

I am excited about getting a PS3 again now.  Our £250 windfall is due to arrive soon, and that is my PS3 money. Until I want a DAB radio in the car. Which I won't - because I want to change the car!  Arrrggghh. Money money money.

I sent a message to my eldest daughter yesterday, enquiring if her and my other children were all ok. Not heard anything back yet. She has inherited my disability to hold anything like a decent conversation.  Although - being female - I'm sure she'll snap out of it in time!

Celebrity Big Brother started a few days ago and I am llllloving it!! I am tipping Dane or Ronnie Wood's shag piece to win.  I think St Stephen might be one of the first to leave, though. 

I am sat here in my dressing gown (that sounds SO old, and to be fair - it does look old) and I am roastie toastie!!

I'll end this blog with the photo of my snow angel that I made in our garden. I was nude! Give it a go - it's.. exhilarating, and not THAT cold, either!

I know it's crap, but - I wasn't for messing round and taking ages to do it!

See y'z.