Baffled

Last night, we stayed at some friends of my wife's in Derby.  I was fed handsomely, and drank what I now know was too much.  I genuinely didn't think I'd drank LOADS and loads.  So I've been ill several times, and didn't eat a thing all day until about 5pm this afternoon - not at all like me.

My beautiful wife has made it clear to me that she's not impressed with the state of me today, and I agree with her completely.  My only defence is that it took me by surprise completely given that I really didn't think I'd drank as much as I must have done.

So, I am very looking forward to a month and a bit off.  We'd agreed to have  November off the booze, but I'm starting mine as of now.  I become a tit when drunk, and almost always wake up with regrets, mostly due to my silly behaviour. 

I hate upsetting my wife. She's my best friend, and I know I've upset her, which is crap.  I need to make it up to her.

Steps will be taken.

I am baffled as to how I've ended up with such a tremendous wife if I'm honest.  I have no clue what she sees in me. I have one HELL of a lot of baggage.  I'm fat, balding with lots of body hair. I ming.  If I take myself out of myself and look at me from the outside, I might be my friend.  No more than that, though.  I wouldn't want to visit me for a meal, or go out with me for a night out.

I'm already thinking of new years resolutions.  I'm thinking one of mine will be to tone myself up a little and try and give my wife something to love me for.

Everything But The Girl

Hey

Now, I don't see my children from my first marriage anywhere near as often as I'd like, but sometimes things happen and I miss them much more than usual.

Tonight, they are flying out to Spain with their mum and her partner and his children and god knows who else. Loads of them going. 

I have mixed feelings about this. I'm really pleased for them. I'm pleased that they're going to experience foreign lands, etc., but from a selfish point of view, I don't want them to go.  I want to them stay, I was going to say close to me, but they're not are they?  They live in Wales and I don't.  They're not close to me from day to day, so why should I miss them more now?

I've tried to contact my eldest daughter several times but her mobile is never switched on. I just want to tell her to be careful. I don't need to tell her, though - she is sensible.

My head is all over the place now I've started typing all this.  I'm thinking my problem with is is a lack of control, but what control do I have usually?  Little.  I don't know. I have no idea why I feel as stressed about it as I do.  I wish I was at home (and not at work, as I am now), so I could talk to my best friend about it.  She'd be able to help me for sure.

Now my ipod is playing "So Far Away" by Dire Straights.  Could not be more appropriate.

I need to get a grip.

Goodbye.

Wow

Hello.

I was thinking - should I start these posts with a Dear Diary kind of thing?  Maybe I will in future.

Anyway - we're back from our hols and what an ace time we had!  Gran Canaria was the last of the Canary Islands that I had to visit and it's just as lovely as the others (with Fuerteventura being the exception*).  We stayed a few miles away from the famous sand dunes at Maspalomas.  They are literally breathtakingly stunning.  It was one of those times when you have to doff your cap to nature and look in awe.

Maspalomas beach is famous for the dunes - and the nudity.  As you enter the beach from Maspalomas, the first few hundred metres are full of the usual beach types. Men in shorts and women in bikini's (some topless, but nothing unusual there).  However, venture down the beach a little and if you don't notice the sign telling you that you are entering the nudist area, you will eventually realise that nobody has got any clothes on!   Now - nudist area might conjure up images of a small section of beach with a few nudies in it - not so.  The beach is as busy, if not busier in the nudist area.

So - when in Rome and all that.  I whipped my t-shirt and shorts off and we continued to walk down the beach front with me all naked!  It was the first time I'd been in that situation and all I could say was how liberating and completely natural it felt.  Many people associate nudity with sex, and that is the big mistake.  It just isn't like that at all.  It's just so natural, relaxing, comfortable, and other words like that.  Whilst, of course, you do look (or notice) the boobs, bums and genitalia, you become very aware that it's not about the body beautiful - it's just about the body natural.  Everyone has parts of their body that they're not happy with, and none of that matters because you're not "on parade", which brings me back to it not being sexual.

Ok - rant over...a short walk further and you notice that the nudey people are now predominately men.  The area has a very large gay scene and this is where they (quite literally) hang out during the day!  After a while we turned back to walk back towards Maspalomas.  The beach does lead round to our resort, but it's a bloody long way!

I thoroughly enjoyed my first beach nude experience, and hope I'll have further opportunities to do it again in the future.

One other thing that I was very very impressed / proud of, was that Luke didn't once comment on the fact that everyone was naked.  That goes to show me that he doesn't see nudity as anything unusual, and I'm pleased with his outlook in that respect.

Ok - I'm going to finish my drink and go to bed.  Nighty night!


*  I LOVE Fuerteventura and I'd be quite happy to holiday there for a good few years to come!