Selfishness

Hi

Time for me to start self analysing again.  Today's vulnerability that I shall be examining is what I think is a relatively new facet of my personality - selfishness.  I might be wrong, but I don't think I've ever been particularly selfish in years gone by.  However, of late, I've found myself thinking that I have behaved in a selfish way.  I hate myself for being that way.

I have just done a quick search for selfishness, and someone's blog came up in the results.  I read it, and found it very interesting.  The blog lists seven characteristics that make up a good relationship, and here they are:-

1. Both sides see the relationship as an opportunity to give

One of the basic relationship problems is selfishness. How does selfishness occur? In my opinion,selfishness occurs when someone focuses more on getting rather than giving. The more someone focuses on getting, the more selfish he or she becomes. That’s why the willingness to give is essential for good relationships. Both parties should see the relationship as an opportunity to give. This is the foundation upon which the other points below are built.

2. Both sides are willing to change

Nobody is perfect but everyone can grow. In a good relationship, both sides are willing to change. They realize that they are not perfect and there is still a lot of room for improvement. Instead of blaming their partner when something goes wrong, they look inside to see if there is something they can change. When both sides have this attitude, the relationship grows stronger and stronger.

3. Both sides are willing to admit mistakes

In a good relationship, both parties aren’t afraid to admit mistakes. Instead of being defensive, they openly admit the mistakes they make. They can then work together to correct the mistakes. This, of course, is not easy to do. It takes a humble heart to admit mistakes.

4. Both sides are willing to listen first

In a good relationship, both sides are good listeners. They are willing to understand their partner’s position first before trying to get understood. Doing this is much easier when both sides see the relationship as an opportunity to give (characteristic #1).

5. Both sides support each other

Not only are both sides willing to listen, but also they give what their partner needs. The law of reciprocity states that when we do good to others they will also do good to us. We reap what we sow. By supporting each other, both sides in the relationship get what they need.

6. Both sides are open to each other

Misunderstanding is one of the basic relationship problems. That’s why it’s essential that both sides are open to each other. When they have something they don’t like about their partner, they should communicate it rather than just keeping it in their heart. Of course, they should do so in a respectful way so as not to offend their partner.

7. Both sides have integrity

In a good relationship, both parties act in line with what they think and say. They keep their promises. This is important because they can then trust each other. This trust makes the relationship strong.

So there you go - that's the key to a good, healthy relationship right there. I might get it tattooed on the inside of my eyelids. I wish it was that easy to simply find a list of all encompassing instructions that you could follow to live a happy, healthy life to its fullest potential.

You know what, though - I'm getting tired of my own blog entries at the moment. I'm always coming on here full of either fury or regret. I totally need to get a grip and take a long hard look at what I have in my life. A genuinely stunning wife, who is my best friend. Beautiful children who bring me such pleasure I can't begin to find the words. A job that I enjoy doing (even though it makes me excessively tired), and the love of my family. I am very very lucky, and I really want to be positive in life using the seven characteristics listed above to make my life, and that of my family, better.

I am going to use this opportunity to make a commitment to do something. This commitment is to myself, but publishing on here should give me the impetus to actually do it, instead of it staying in my head on the list of "Things I'd Like To Do". I weigh 14 stones, and I want to weigh 13. I am going to exercise regularly in order to lose 1 stone. It feels good to type this. I look forward to waving goodbye to the extra stone.

I'm off to drink caffeine and research exercises.

Take care of yourself, and be happy! Smile at a stranger, and when one smiles back at you - enjoy the feeling.

What You Going To Promise Me This Time

yello reader.

At the outset, this post is going to be one moan about a broken promise, one comment on a broken relationship, and one comment about being part of a gang.  There may be more comments about stuff along the way, but - buckle up - here we go.....

So, following on from my last post about internet tablets like ipads, and samsung galaxy tab's, and the likes, I decided we should own an Archos 101.  After a faf with another store, I ordered it from Insight UK on Sunday afternoon.  I paid 10.99 (plus VAT) for next day delivery (translate that as Tuesday given the day i ordered it). Today is Tuesday, and it hasn't arrived.  I shall expect it to be delivered tomorrow, after which time, I shall email Insight UK and ask for a refund of the (some might say) excessive shipping charge for next day delivery. Because they didn't.  I'm going to keep calm and wait until the thing is in my hands before I start complaining.  My luck is such that the van it's being delivered in will crash at the end of our road.

The people who live in the (only) detached house on our road seem to have split up.  It happened sometime before Christmas (which is sad).  Over the last few weeks, on several occasions I've seen "him" staggering out of taxi's with a pizza box before collapsing on the couch watching tv.  The whole thing is sad, having gone through that and not having your children with you - it is sad.

Today, another twist, as e-on turned up to forcibly gain entry to his house - which they did with the assistance of a locksmith.  Once again, it's sad, but it was a scene that i've seen many times before from when I lived in Skelmersdale.  So, I'm going to give it 6 months before we have new neighbours.

Yesterday, a girl that I've followed on twitter for a while created a list of people she follows who are Evertonians.  She added me to that list.  All of a sudden, I received several new follower requests because I appeared on that list.  It reminded me of a feeling that I had towards the end of my time at high school.  I was never one to be included in things at school. With the odd exception, all of my friends were girls.  Things changed towards the end of school, though, when I was a mobile dj.  All of a sudden, it gave me popularity, and that is how getting those follower requests felt for me.  Popular.

I hadn't realised that that feeling still felt good. I could ananlyse the feeling all night long, but there is no point.  Everyone likes to be likes, and likes to feel that they are in a group, or part of a gang, so ultimately I'm no different to everyone else in that respect.

Stuff And Nonsense And Excitement And Stuff

Happy New... stuff to you all.

I was sat, this morning, wondering what I could blog about.  I couldn't think of a single thing.  So I came to work tonight, and now I've thought of several things that I want to talk about.

There is a girl on Twitter who's blog I've followed for ages. It is a blog about whatever is in her mind - similar to this one, but not as deep, but I can still relate to it.  Anyway, my reason for mentioning it is that I'm going to try and start headlining, or sub-headlining what my ramblings are all about.

Dragons Den
I have an idea, inspired by a Daily Mail article that I read earlier on today.  The article said that some children are able to text faster than their parents can type.  So that got me to thinking - what about if there was a keyboard, based on a telephone keypad, that would let them type in T9 - on a computer.  It could be handheld, like a console controller, with a bluetooth connection to the computer.  WHEN this device launches, I want a slice.

Sleepy
I am ridiculously sleepy tonight.  I started drinking espresso's earlier on and those two cups that I had pre-midnight have kept my eyes widely open up until now (05:20), when they are starting to feel heavy. Loads heavy. Can't wait to climb into bed.

7.5 Shifts To Go
So - 22nd of January sees myself, my ace wife, and youngest son jet off to Fuerteventura for 11 nights.  For the first time in our holiday history, we're staying in the same hotel for the second time.  I hope it's as good as we remember it being.  I certainly do have some brilliant memories from that holiday and look forward to making some more this time round!  I've even emailed the hotel to ask them if we can have the same room that we had last time. It was VERY handy for the pool! Shit, I'm so excited it's stupid.


Ipad / Android Tablet
With a glass or two of wine in her, my lovely wife suggested we buy an iPad the other night.  I was shocked.  In a good way.  I immediately spun into a research frenzy, and  - I'm not sure we should.  Apple have had a big spat with Adobe (the people who produce Flash), and so all Apple products don't do flash.  So - when reading websites, like the BBC for example, they will often have little embedded video's to accompany a news story - on the iPad, they won't work.  Applications on Facebook, etc. won't work because they all use Flash.

So - I'm thinking an android tablet thingy might be better.  The Archos 101. The Archos 70, and the Galaxy Tab are the ones I've got it down to.  Possibly the Dell Streak, too, but I've not done enough research on that one yet.  Further updates on my research will follow.


ASDA Entertainment
...are bastards.  I ordered Call of Duty Black Ops from them on the 2nd January. They tell me they posted it on the 4th, and still - it hasn't arrived.  I am most disappointed.  Saying that, we only received Take That Singstar from Play.com yesterday and we ordered that last year.  Maybe I just need to have a bit more patience with the postal service.  But I haven't.

Ok, that seems like a suitably shit post to start off the new year, so - until next time....