Sunday 19 September 2010

Wide Open

It was fed back to me recently, that my other Blogger blog is becoming more like a diary, and less like a way of achieving my ambition of taking one photo a day and publishing it on line.  As soon it was mentioned, i knew it was right.

As you may know from reading this blog, I do go on a bit sometimes, and that's ok - here.  The other blog is not the place for it.  On top of that, my Twitter and Facebook lives have started going the same way.  I was almost laying my life, and that of my family, wide open for anyone and everyone to see.

For those who really know me (and that's nobody as no bugger reads this!), you will know that deep down I am shy.  On reflection, I never saw Facebook or Twitter as.... reality.  I protect my profiles on both of them so if you are Tom, Dick or Harry you can't look at them.  Based on that, I gave myself a false sense of security and almost felt that I could comfortably post anything I liked, not only about me, but about my family, too.  It is for that reason that I haven't tweeted or said anything on Facebook for a few days now.  I have taken stock and I shall approach them in a different way from now on.

In my real life, I have always been guilty (if it's a crime), of befriending people too easily.  I will meet someone and work with them for a short time, and believe that they are good friends.  It's not always the case.  Being honest - sometimes it IS the case, but other times, not.  I have transferred that "crime" to the virtual world, too.  I have followed complete strangers on Twitter - people I've never ever met, and they have followed me back.  We've had discussions about all sorts of things, and in my head - I had got to the point where I thought these people were my friends.

Now, because access to my profiles is restricted and also because of how choosy I am, these people might actually be really nice, and would make lovely friends in real life.  But it's the difference between real life and my virtual life, that has become a bit grey.  So - I'm not going to close my Facebook and Twitter accounts, but - I do intend to "hold off" a bit on there.

Whilst typing all this shiz, it's got me thinking as to why I felt the need to be everyone's friends, and to hold people close to me and consider them friends.  Having analysed myself, it comes back to me being one of the following.  Too trusting - easily led - desperate, and generally yearning for affirmation from everyone I come in to contact with.  I'm proper weird, me.  I might need to speak to someone.