Sunday, 4 July 2010

Who'd Have Thunk It

Well - I think I jinxed myself with my last, somewhat morose post.

My daughter did not come to stay this weekend.  She went to the cinema to watch Twilight with her friends, instead.  Fair enough.  However, when I dropped my other children off with their mother this evening, she told me that my daughter has.... a boyfriend.

I took it all very well at the time, but driving home I quite literally was in a daze.  I know she's months off being 14, but - just - no. No.  Not my Abbey.  I feel ridiculous because I feel so ... upset.  She is obviously very happy and this is her first love. We all remember our first love's and it's such a special time.  That said, I'm still not a single bit happy about it.

I need to dwell for a few more minutes then do some exercises.


Thursday, 1 July 2010


Hello there singular reader

So today I found out that a girl who I used to work with has gone to jail for dealing drugs.  I say drugs, I don't mean a bit of weed. Serious drugs.  Heroin and Cocaine.  It might seem trivial, but I don't know how to feel about this.  See, I liked Ali (I seem to be using the past tense?). We worked together for several years and she was always always full of beans, bubbly and anyone having a down day, she'd cheer them up.

Back in the days when going to the pub for lunch was seen as normal, we spent many lunchtimes together (with others).  She'd back-packed round Australia and it was her dream to return there to live.  She absolutely adored the place.  She won't be able to do that now.  She won't be able to do so many things.  She left my employer because she got a job paying more working on the Wirral. She had a good job. She had been with her boyfriend for years and years and loved him to bits.  He's gone and another bloke became her boyfriend.  They're both in jail now.  I was talking to a friend from work about Ali today and we agreed that above all else - it is so sad, and such a shame. Such a waste.

On a slight tangent... We are having my children to stay this weekend and I'm silly happy about it.  Well - I was.  My wife just pointed out that my eldest daughter has posted on Facebook saying that her and two friends have tickets booked to see Eclipse at the cinema.  It might not be this weekend, but I'd be bloody surprised if it's not.  The thought upsets me, but I know it's something I have to deal with. She's 14 in September and I totally understand what it's like to be that age. She will have friends that she wants to go out with. Not boys though. No. No. No no no no no.  Seriously, though.  This is a really important time in my relationship with her.  This is the time I have to let my baby girl go, and hope that she'll come back one day. I've made it sound worse than it probably is, but you get my point.

I feel like my live is changing.  Maybe that's not such a big revelation. Life is a constant evolution. Everything changes - all the time.

Whilst I have given her the choice to make about whether or not she comes to stay here, the more often she doesn't, the harder it is.  Right now, if she isn't here tomorrow, I think I may cry.  If she is - I still might cry.  Different emotions - same tears.

I feel low right now.  It's probably for the best that I end this post.

Until next time.