OK then here we go again
Welcome to another addition to this rambling that i call a blog.
Today, I write about the almost constant feelings of insecurity that I have. They never really go away. They subside sometimes, but rarely are they never there.
I cannot explain the feelings. I have a beautiful wife, and fantastic children. I know I am loved, it's not about that. I suppose it's the fact that I have all those beautiful people in my life, and I constantly feel like I don't deserve them. I'll leave that there because having just read it back, I'm not making a great deal of sense.
I'm running a fantasy league in work again this year. Done it for the last 3 years, but this year, I'm donating 25% of monies taken to The Christie Hospital in Manchester. I've got 18 people in this year, each paying £10 to play, so Christies will have another £45 in their coffers by the end of this month. It's not much, but even if it buys a few boxes of tissues, it all helps.
I'm in work with four people this evening. But I'm on my own right now. 2 have gone out to the pub and 1 has gone to asda. Not much going on at this time of night, so it's not a problem at all.
I got really stressed shortly before coming in to work this evening. I shouted at Luke for messing round. In fact, he's only two years old, so - that's what they do. If you ever read this Luke, I'm sorry son. I also apologised to my wife for being snappy. We've spent precious little time together over the last four nights that I've been working, and I feel so bad for being snappy instead of enjoying the hour or so that we get to spend together. Sorry.
I'm feeling quite low tonight (like you couldn't tell?). I have two days off now, and my lovely wife is straight into work when I'm off. I hate hate hate it when it pans out like this. Really pisses me off. So I have two days home alone again because Luke will be with his childminder for both days that I'm off. We have lots of ironing so that will keep me busy. I think washing clothes, drying clothes and ironing clothes is what my days off will mostly consist off. Boring, but necessary chores all the same.
Working here, you sometimes see funny things. There has just been a drunken couple having an argument outside. It's the second one of those I've seen today actually. I love watching drunk people argue. In fact, I just love watching drunk people. They are a very amusing bunch. You can see their desire to walk in a certain direction, or say a particular word, but 9 times out of 10, they just can't manage it.
I'm going to go now, and try and speak to my wife.
Easy.
