I took my children back to Wales yesterday. I cried on the way home. I had to stop the car near Runcorn and compose myself. I wanted to get it all out before getting home. I feel like such a "fake" if I cry in front of my wife. It's a new feeling, though. In the past, I've been ok with it. It used to happen quite often to be honest.
I've been thinking about why I felt like I did yesterday and I can only put it down to this. My wife is still grieving for the loss of her dad. It still regularly upsets her, and that is a completely natural and normal way to react after such a devastating event. So me, getting upset because I'm not going to see my children for a few weeks seems completely lame. Sorry.
It's weird only seeing the children for short spells of time. I feel that I am having to adapt the way I parent them because I only see them for a short time. I see myself as a fairly strict parent, and that in no small part is thanks to my own dad. He was always strict with us, and that has certainly rubbed off on me. Apologies, children. So, anyway - adapt. I am aware that I seem to be on their cases about stuff almost all the time. It fills me with fear to think that they wouldn't want to come and stay with us because I'm always moaning at them. So I give in sometimes. I'm not sure if she's aware of it, but my amazing wife helps me out sometimes. She's said before about playing good cop / bad cop (me being the baddy), and quite often she'll rescue a situation to everyone's satisfaction. I do love her. And them.
Poor Luke has been asking where Matthew is this morning. Every morning for the last week when Luke has woke, Matthew has been sat downstairs waiting for him. Not watching TV, not playing on any games console. Just sat, waiting. They are inseparable whenever my children stay with us. I got a sneaky pic of Matthew teaching Luke how to play something on the xbox. There I go again. Dammit. I think the distance plays a part now. Ok, happy things now.
Our friends from Paul, Jo and their four children came to visit from Blackpool Friday evening. We try to meet up a couple of times a year and all get along famously. Alcohol is always involved in varying degrees and this meet was no exception. We played Trivial Pursuit on the Wii and it was ace. We played a boys v girls game and we got beat twice. No justice. As the night went on, I decided it would be a good idea to try my new blueberry vodka with Paul. It was a bad idea. Very. I was given several lessons in how to down shots of it. The result? After they'd left, I was ill before going asleep. Oh deary me.
It's a (so far) Sunny day. It's the bank holiday weekend and we have not a single thing planned for today. I love days like this. We might end up staying here and having fun, or we could end up in a castle somewhere, or at a fairground, or maybe a zoo. Who knows?!
Righty-ho. I think I'll go and treat my son and I to bacon on toast for breakfast! Sorry Deb. You snooze, you lose!
Until next time, don't forget - the oven is hot hot hot!
