Hey
Now, I don't see my children from my first marriage anywhere near as often as I'd like, but sometimes things happen and I miss them much more than usual.
Tonight, they are flying out to Spain with their mum and her partner and his children and god knows who else. Loads of them going.
I have mixed feelings about this. I'm really pleased for them. I'm pleased that they're going to experience foreign lands, etc., but from a selfish point of view, I don't want them to go. I want to them stay, I was going to say close to me, but they're not are they? They live in Wales and I don't. They're not close to me from day to day, so why should I miss them more now?
I've tried to contact my eldest daughter several times but her mobile is never switched on. I just want to tell her to be careful. I don't need to tell her, though - she is sensible.
My head is all over the place now I've started typing all this. I'm thinking my problem with is is a lack of control, but what control do I have usually? Little. I don't know. I have no idea why I feel as stressed about it as I do. I wish I was at home (and not at work, as I am now), so I could talk to my best friend about it. She'd be able to help me for sure.
Now my ipod is playing "So Far Away" by Dire Straights. Could not be more appropriate.
I need to get a grip.
Goodbye.
