It's a 70's thing

Selfishness

2011-02-13T22:45:00.000Z

Hi

Time for me to start self analysing again. Today's vulnerability that I shall be examining is what I think is a relatively new facet of my personality - selfishness. I might be wrong, but I don't think I've ever been particularly selfish in years gone by. However, of late, I've found myself thinking that I have behaved in a selfish way. I hate myself for being that way.

I have just done a quick search for selfishness, and someone's blog came up in the results. I read it, and found it very interesting. The blog lists seven characteristics that make up a good relationship, and here they are:-

1. Both sides see the relationship as an opportunity to give

One of the basic relationship problems is selfishness. How does selfishness occur? In my opinion,selfishness occurs when someone focuses more on getting rather than giving. The more someone focuses on getting, the more selfish he or she becomes. That’s why the willingness to give is essential for good relationships. Both parties should see the relationship as an opportunity to give. This is the foundation upon which the other points below are built.

2. Both sides are willing to change

Nobody is perfect but everyone can grow. In a good relationship, both sides are willing to change. They realize that they are not perfect and there is still a lot of room for improvement. Instead of blaming their partner when something goes wrong, they look inside to see if there is something they can change. When both sides have this attitude, the relationship grows stronger and stronger.

3. Both sides are willing to admit mistakes

In a good relationship, both parties aren’t afraid to admit mistakes. Instead of being defensive, they openly admit the mistakes they make. They can then work together to correct the mistakes. This, of course, is not easy to do. It takes a humble heart to admit mistakes.

4. Both sides are willing to listen first

In a good relationship, both sides are good listeners. They are willing to understand their partner’s position first before trying to get understood. Doing this is much easier when both sides see the relationship as an opportunity to give (characteristic #1).

5. Both sides support each other

Not only are both sides willing to listen, but also they give what their partner needs. The law of reciprocity states that when we do good to others they will also do good to us. We reap what we sow. By supporting each other, both sides in the relationship get what they need.

6. Both sides are open to each other

Misunderstanding is one of the basic relationship problems. That’s why it’s essential that both sides are open to each other. When they have something they don’t like about their partner, they should communicate it rather than just keeping it in their heart. Of course, they should do so in a respectful way so as not to offend their partner.

7. Both sides have integrity

In a good relationship, both parties act in line with what they think and say. They keep their promises. This is important because they can then trust each other. This trust makes the relationship strong.

So there you go - that's the key to a good, healthy relationship right there. I might get it tattooed on the inside of my eyelids. I wish it was that easy to simply find a list of all encompassing instructions that you could follow to live a happy, healthy life to its fullest potential.

You know what, though - I'm getting tired of my own blog entries at the moment. I'm always coming on here full of either fury or regret. I totally need to get a grip and take a long hard look at what I have in my life. A genuinely stunning wife, who is my best friend. Beautiful children who bring me such pleasure I can't begin to find the words. A job that I enjoy doing (even though it makes me excessively tired), and the love of my family. I am very very lucky, and I really want to be positive in life using the seven characteristics listed above to make my life, and that of my family, better.

I am going to use this opportunity to make a commitment to do something. This commitment is to myself, but publishing on here should give me the impetus to actually do it, instead of it staying in my head on the list of "Things I'd Like To Do". I weigh 14 stones, and I want to weigh 13. I am going to exercise regularly in order to lose 1 stone. It feels good to type this. I look forward to waving goodbye to the extra stone.

I'm off to drink caffeine and research exercises.

Take care of yourself, and be happy! Smile at a stranger, and when one smiles back at you - enjoy the feeling.

What You Going To Promise Me This Time

2011-01-19T06:50:00.000Z

yello reader.

At the outset, this post is going to be one moan about a broken promise, one comment on a broken relationship, and one comment about being part of a gang. There may be more comments about stuff along the way, but - buckle up - here we go.....

So, following on from my last post about internet tablets like ipads, and samsung galaxy tab's, and the likes, I decided we should own an Archos 101. After a faf with another store, I ordered it from Insight UK on Sunday afternoon. I paid 10.99 (plus VAT) for next day delivery (translate that as Tuesday given the day i ordered it). Today is Tuesday, and it hasn't arrived. I shall expect it to be delivered tomorrow, after which time, I shall email Insight UK and ask for a refund of the (some might say) excessive shipping charge for next day delivery. Because they didn't. I'm going to keep calm and wait until the thing is in my hands before I start complaining. My luck is such that the van it's being delivered in will crash at the end of our road.

The people who live in the (only) detached house on our road seem to have split up. It happened sometime before Christmas (which is sad). Over the last few weeks, on several occasions I've seen "him" staggering out of taxi's with a pizza box before collapsing on the couch watching tv. The whole thing is sad, having gone through that and not having your children with you - it is sad.

Today, another twist, as e-on turned up to forcibly gain entry to his house - which they did with the assistance of a locksmith. Once again, it's sad, but it was a scene that i've seen many times before from when I lived in Skelmersdale. So, I'm going to give it 6 months before we have new neighbours.

Yesterday, a girl that I've followed on twitter for a while created a list of people she follows who are Evertonians. She added me to that list. All of a sudden, I received several new follower requests because I appeared on that list. It reminded me of a feeling that I had towards the end of my time at high school. I was never one to be included in things at school. With the odd exception, all of my friends were girls. Things changed towards the end of school, though, when I was a mobile dj. All of a sudden, it gave me popularity, and that is how getting those follower requests felt for me. Popular.

I hadn't realised that that feeling still felt good. I could ananlyse the feeling all night long, but there is no point. Everyone likes to be likes, and likes to feel that they are in a group, or part of a gang, so ultimately I'm no different to everyone else in that respect.

Stuff And Nonsense And Excitement And Stuff

2011-01-11T05:34:00.000Z

Happy New... stuff to you all.

I was sat, this morning, wondering what I could blog about. I couldn't think of a single thing. So I came to work tonight, and now I've thought of several things that I want to talk about.

There is a girl on Twitter who's blog I've followed for ages. It is a blog about whatever is in her mind - similar to this one, but not as deep, but I can still relate to it. Anyway, my reason for mentioning it is that I'm going to try and start headlining, or sub-headlining what my ramblings are all about.

Dragons Den
I have an idea, inspired by a Daily Mail article that I read earlier on today. The article said that some children are able to text faster than their parents can type. So that got me to thinking - what about if there was a keyboard, based on a telephone keypad, that would let them type in T9 - on a computer. It could be handheld, like a console controller, with a bluetooth connection to the computer. WHEN this device launches, I want a slice.

Sleepy
I am ridiculously sleepy tonight. I started drinking espresso's earlier on and those two cups that I had pre-midnight have kept my eyes widely open up until now (05:20), when they are starting to feel heavy. Loads heavy. Can't wait to climb into bed.

7.5 Shifts To Go
So - 22nd of January sees myself, my ace wife, and youngest son jet off to Fuerteventura for 11 nights. For the first time in our holiday history, we're staying in the same hotel for the second time. I hope it's as good as we remember it being. I certainly do have some brilliant memories from that holiday and look forward to making some more this time round! I've even emailed the hotel to ask them if we can have the same room that we had last time. It was VERY handy for the pool! Shit, I'm so excited it's stupid.

Ipad / Android Tablet
With a glass or two of wine in her, my lovely wife suggested we buy an iPad the other night. I was shocked. In a good way. I immediately spun into a research frenzy, and - I'm not sure we should. Apple have had a big spat with Adobe (the people who produce Flash), and so all Apple products don't do flash. So - when reading websites, like the BBC for example, they will often have little embedded video's to accompany a news story - on the iPad, they won't work. Applications on Facebook, etc. won't work because they all use Flash.

So - I'm thinking an android tablet thingy might be better. The Archos 101. The Archos 70, and the Galaxy Tab are the ones I've got it down to. Possibly the Dell Streak, too, but I've not done enough research on that one yet. Further updates on my research will follow.

ASDA Entertainment
...are bastards. I ordered Call of Duty Black Ops from them on the 2nd January. They tell me they posted it on the 4th, and still - it hasn't arrived. I am most disappointed. Saying that, we only received Take That Singstar from Play.com yesterday and we ordered that last year. Maybe I just need to have a bit more patience with the postal service. But I haven't.

Ok, that seems like a suitably shit post to start off the new year, so - until next time....

It's The Little Things

2010-12-10T05:24:00.000Z

The little things in life are the most important - or infuriating.

I seem to be noticing more and more instances of dickhead-ness in general society. Recently on Coronation Street a tram crashed on to the street. SIX members of public contacted the Manchester Metrolink service enquiring if there would be any delays following the crash that they'd just seen on TV. These people are out there every day, mingling amongst us. Be aware.

Whilst driving to work in the freezing weather we had last week, BBC Radio Lancashire were telling us all about the traffic problems across the country, all very good. However, the presenter went on to say "...and if you can't receive BBC Radio Lancashire, you can always check our website for the up to date travel situation". I actually shouted "dickhead" at the radio.

I am having an ongonig spat with a corporate communications department at work. I have never known a department communicate as badly as they do. They have magazines and posters and big fuck off displays all over the place, but try and email them and see if you get a response! 9 times out of 10 you won't. My latest gripe with them is about the hundreds of posters that have appeared all around our building telling us to turn the lights off. With very very few exceptions, the whole building has sensors fitted so if nobody is there (or if you keep very still), the lights go off. That is knob-headed enough of corporate comms, but they've gone a step further and produced a poster using glow in the dark ink! What the bloody hell is the point of that?

Conversely, there are many little things in life that bring me much joy. When my wife looks into my eyes. She doesn't need to say a word, because I know what she's thinking - and it's beautiful. The times when Luke randomly hugs me and tells me he loves me - those things money can't buy. The little things that almost make me weep, and sometimes do, are the hugs I receive from my children as I drop them back off at Rhyl.

Music. Music is an inconsequential thing to most people, but it brings me SUCH an array of emotions. There are songs that make me smile like a tit, and there are others that will reduce me to tears. How powerful is music?

And You Know What Else.....

2010-12-03T04:07:00.000Z

Morning.

Yep, another night shift post, so stand by for the ramblings of a tired mind.

There is some properly lovely music out there isn't there? I love shuffling my ipod and sitting back to enjoy what it sings for me. If it sings a shit song (and sometimes it does), I mark it as one star and then delete it next time I synchronise it. My logic behind it is that no song on my ipod should be shit enough to only merit one star.

On my way to work this evening I found myself stuck at a roundabout. NObody was indicating so I could not safely pull out. People behind me were flashing, like they had some sort of connection with the non-indicating drivers and they just knew which way they were turning. Fuckers.

I am on my second night of four. I have these two nights this week, then next week two days and one night before having five days off with my family. I am very very excited about spending a night just myself and my beautiful wife at a hotel in Manchester. We're going to visit the Christmas markets and drink that funny wein stuff and generally have an ace time!

In work at the moment, I am slightly fearful for my life. I am working with a bloke who has been sectioned, one who should be sectioned and a third is working on a team across the way from me who is currently looking at very detailed photographs of guns on the internet. Help!!

The weather is all weird at the moment. It is consistently fucking freezing but it keeps kind of giving us a bit of snow then stopping, so now there are white bits at the side of the main road, which are frozen solid (it's minus seven degrees outside, according to the gun fanatic). I LOVE a bit of snow, me. I know it fucks the country up something rotten, but so long as my wife doesn't have to drive in it, I like it. We had some proper snow in January this year. Two highlights for me were using a pick axe to break through the two inch thick ice that formed on the road outside our house, and my naked snow angel in the back garden.

Music Television is really bad. I'm a thirty six year old man, and flicking through the various MTV channels (not just the MTV branded channels), there was absolutely nothing that appealed to me. And then it hit me - AbsoluteTV. Absolute Radio has spawned several baby radio stations this year - Absolute Classic Rock, Absolute 80s, Absolute Radio 90's, and the newest child in the fold - Absolute 00's (noughties). There are two "obvious" decades missing from their lineup, but I'm guessing that would put them in more of a "gold" radio format territory and I'm not sure that is where they belong. So for me, the next step has to be a music television channel.

They could do it Howard Stern style (without the filth and depravity), and broadcast Christian O'Connell's breakfast show on the channel, before moving on to the best bits from their radio family throughout the day. I genuinely think this could work. I need to email someone so I can be told "oh yeah - that's ace. now go away.".

I have tentatively offered Taxi services for tomorrow night. Some of my "colleagues" from work are having a night out in Liverpool and it's quite a lucrative way of making a few pounds offering to pick them up and ferry them home. A taxi would cost about £20, so I've said £15. I won't come close to using a gallon of fuel so will make over £10 profit for my efforts.

I am going to suggest to my wonderful wife that we put our Christmas decorations up on Sunday afternoon / evening. We can listen to Christmas songs whilst we do it - all three of us. I can't wait!! Must make sure we have blu-tac.

I am in to the last month of my daily photo blog. I am very very looking forward to it finishing. It's been difficult to keep motivated enough to do it of late. I've taken to not blogging for several days, then posting a whole load at once. I'm pleased I've done it, but I won't be doing anything similar to it soon. That said, I can't help feeling like I'll be at a loose blogging end come January. Who knows what 2011 will bring?!

Ok, I've gone on for aaaages now so I'll go and drink some hot chocolate.

See ya!

Baffled

2010-10-25T01:25:00.000+01:00

Last night, we stayed at some friends of my wife's in Derby. I was fed handsomely, and drank what I now know was too much. I genuinely didn't think I'd drank LOADS and loads. So I've been ill several times, and didn't eat a thing all day until about 5pm this afternoon - not at all like me.

My beautiful wife has made it clear to me that she's not impressed with the state of me today, and I agree with her completely. My only defence is that it took me by surprise completely given that I really didn't think I'd drank as much as I must have done.

So, I am very looking forward to a month and a bit off. We'd agreed to have November off the booze, but I'm starting mine as of now. I become a tit when drunk, and almost always wake up with regrets, mostly due to my silly behaviour.

I hate upsetting my wife. She's my best friend, and I know I've upset her, which is crap. I need to make it up to her.

Steps will be taken.

I am baffled as to how I've ended up with such a tremendous wife if I'm honest. I have no clue what she sees in me. I have one HELL of a lot of baggage. I'm fat, balding with lots of body hair. I ming. If I take myself out of myself and look at me from the outside, I might be my friend. No more than that, though. I wouldn't want to visit me for a meal, or go out with me for a night out.

I'm already thinking of new years resolutions. I'm thinking one of mine will be to tone myself up a little and try and give my wife something to love me for.

Everything But The Girl

2010-10-16T23:27:00.000+01:00

Hey

Now, I don't see my children from my first marriage anywhere near as often as I'd like, but sometimes things happen and I miss them much more than usual.

Tonight, they are flying out to Spain with their mum and her partner and his children and god knows who else. Loads of them going.

I have mixed feelings about this. I'm really pleased for them. I'm pleased that they're going to experience foreign lands, etc., but from a selfish point of view, I don't want them to go. I want to them stay, I was going to say close to me, but they're not are they? They live in Wales and I don't. They're not close to me from day to day, so why should I miss them more now?

I've tried to contact my eldest daughter several times but her mobile is never switched on. I just want to tell her to be careful. I don't need to tell her, though - she is sensible.

My head is all over the place now I've started typing all this. I'm thinking my problem with is is a lack of control, but what control do I have usually? Little. I don't know. I have no idea why I feel as stressed about it as I do. I wish I was at home (and not at work, as I am now), so I could talk to my best friend about it. She'd be able to help me for sure.

Now my ipod is playing "So Far Away" by Dire Straights. Could not be more appropriate.

I need to get a grip.

Goodbye.

Wow

2010-10-11T23:07:00.000+01:00

Hello.

I was thinking - should I start these posts with a Dear Diary kind of thing? Maybe I will in future.

Anyway - we're back from our hols and what an ace time we had! Gran Canaria was the last of the Canary Islands that I had to visit and it's just as lovely as the others (with Fuerteventura being the exception*). We stayed a few miles away from the famous sand dunes at Maspalomas. They are literally breathtakingly stunning. It was one of those times when you have to doff your cap to nature and look in awe.

Maspalomas beach is famous for the dunes - and the nudity. As you enter the beach from Maspalomas, the first few hundred metres are full of the usual beach types. Men in shorts and women in bikini's (some topless, but nothing unusual there). However, venture down the beach a little and if you don't notice the sign telling you that you are entering the nudist area, you will eventually realise that nobody has got any clothes on! Now - nudist area might conjure up images of a small section of beach with a few nudies in it - not so. The beach is as busy, if not busier in the nudist area.

So - when in Rome and all that. I whipped my t-shirt and shorts off and we continued to walk down the beach front with me all naked! It was the first time I'd been in that situation and all I could say was how liberating and completely natural it felt. Many people associate nudity with sex, and that is the big mistake. It just isn't like that at all. It's just so natural, relaxing, comfortable, and other words like that. Whilst, of course, you do look (or notice) the boobs, bums and genitalia, you become very aware that it's not about the body beautiful - it's just about the body natural. Everyone has parts of their body that they're not happy with, and none of that matters because you're not "on parade", which brings me back to it not being sexual.

Ok - rant over...a short walk further and you notice that the nudey people are now predominately men. The area has a very large gay scene and this is where they (quite literally) hang out during the day! After a while we turned back to walk back towards Maspalomas. The beach does lead round to our resort, but it's a bloody long way!

I thoroughly enjoyed my first beach nude experience, and hope I'll have further opportunities to do it again in the future.

One other thing that I was very very impressed / proud of, was that Luke didn't once comment on the fact that everyone was naked. That goes to show me that he doesn't see nudity as anything unusual, and I'm pleased with his outlook in that respect.

Ok - I'm going to finish my drink and go to bed. Nighty night!

* I LOVE Fuerteventura and I'd be quite happy to holiday there for a good few years to come!

Wide Open

2010-09-19T17:36:00.001+01:00

It was fed back to me recently, that my other Blogger blog is becoming more like a diary, and less like a way of achieving my ambition of taking one photo a day and publishing it on line. As soon it was mentioned, i knew it was right.

As you may know from reading this blog, I do go on a bit sometimes, and that's ok - here. The other blog is not the place for it. On top of that, my Twitter and Facebook lives have started going the same way. I was almost laying my life, and that of my family, wide open for anyone and everyone to see.

For those who really know me (and that's nobody as no bugger reads this!), you will know that deep down I am shy. On reflection, I never saw Facebook or Twitter as.... reality. I protect my profiles on both of them so if you are Tom, Dick or Harry you can't look at them. Based on that, I gave myself a false sense of security and almost felt that I could comfortably post anything I liked, not only about me, but about my family, too. It is for that reason that I haven't tweeted or said anything on Facebook for a few days now. I have taken stock and I shall approach them in a different way from now on.

In my real life, I have always been guilty (if it's a crime), of befriending people too easily. I will meet someone and work with them for a short time, and believe that they are good friends. It's not always the case. Being honest - sometimes it IS the case, but other times, not. I have transferred that "crime" to the virtual world, too. I have followed complete strangers on Twitter - people I've never ever met, and they have followed me back. We've had discussions about all sorts of things, and in my head - I had got to the point where I thought these people were my friends.

Now, because access to my profiles is restricted and also because of how choosy I am, these people might actually be really nice, and would make lovely friends in real life. But it's the difference between real life and my virtual life, that has become a bit grey. So - I'm not going to close my Facebook and Twitter accounts, but - I do intend to "hold off" a bit on there.

Whilst typing all this shiz, it's got me thinking as to why I felt the need to be everyone's friends, and to hold people close to me and consider them friends. Having analysed myself, it comes back to me being one of the following. Too trusting - easily led - desperate, and generally yearning for affirmation from everyone I come in to contact with. I'm proper weird, me. I might need to speak to someone.

Faith

2010-09-15T16:15:00.000+01:00

Boo!

So - George Michael, or to give him his actual name, Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou, is going to live in Pentonville Prison for the next four weeks. He smoked one hell of a lot of cannabis, then went out for a drive in his Range Rover and crashed it into Snappy Snaps after apparently blacking out. Well done George. Well done more to the person who wrote "Wham" on the wall of the shop he crashed in to. Most amusing.

Pope Benedict XVI visits the UK tomorrow. I remember standing on the streets of Liverpool with my mum and dad in 1982 to catch a glimpse of Pope John Paul II. It was billed as a tremendous moment in my life and one not to be forgotten. To give my parents credit - I haven't. The whole place seemed to be filled with such love, and happiness it was quite strange for me as an eight year old to understand. John Paul II seemed like such a lovely, warm man - and everybody thought so. Not so, for Benedict XVI.

Before being inaugurated as Pope in 2005, Cardinal Joseph Alois Ratzinger was head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (CDF), an institution set up by the Catholic church to deal with child abuse by Catholic priests. He had exposure to how widespread this problem was like nobody else before him because before the creation of the CDF, child abuse allegations had been dealt with at diocese level. Almost all of a sudden, the Catholic church and Cardinal Ratzinger in particular, could see the full, disgusting picture.

The way the church chose to deal with these disgusting individuals was to move them. Remove them from their parish, and move them elsewhere. Not go to the authorities and say "we've got a bad one here, chief", no - just move them on.

I was brought up a Catholic. I served as an altar boy for many years. My beautiful mother rediscovered her Catholic faith in a huge way in the early 1980's, and that gave her tremendous strength and belief, which no doubt helped her through the darkest of times whilst she fought cancer. It is because of that - that I find myself in a difficult place right now. I have always called myself a Catholic. I don't attend mass with any regularity - not at all if the truth be told, but I know that when I fill forms out and it asks for religion or faith, I always tick the Catholic box. I'm not sure I can do that anymore. Faith is about having faith in something - believing in something. How can I say that I believe in the teachings and ways of a church that has - and let's be blunt about it - covered up known instances of child abuse. Not only that - the current Pope was responsible for some of those cover ups!

It pains me to say, but - I'm putting my faith on hold. I am fully aware that I am judging the whole church by the actions of a tiny minority, but one of those minority is sitting at the top of that very rich, very powerful, and was I perceive to be very corrupt church.

I'm sorry mum, but at the moment - even in the smallest of ways like ticking a box, I can't be part of a religious group like that.

I know that if mum was still around, she'd want to sit down and talk with me about this. I await that chat - however she wants to do it.

Two In One Day

2010-08-18T10:07:00.000+01:00

At my age, too!

I've had second thoughts. I think I still need something like this to speak at.

I currently have old photo's from my childhood and some of them have made me well up. It's the one's featuring my parents from before I was born. I want to ask questions about them. Who was that couple with you? Where was that taken? WHEN was that taken. Another photo just came up. Me, aged about 6 or 7 in a field with cows in it. I've NO idea where or when it was taken. The only two people who know the answers have gone - and it fucking hurts.

Day to day stuff is fine- I can cope a-ok with that. But now and again things like this crop up, and I hate it.

Chasing Clouds

2010-08-18T09:29:00.000+01:00

Hiya!

It's been a while hasn't it? How are you? How's the family? Work ok? Good. Me? I've been keeping busy, you know.

Whilst driving home from work the other day, I was driving along a stretch of road that runs between two villages. I could see the edge of a cloud reflecting on the road, in front of me. I calculated that the cloud was moving at about 30 miles per hour. I slowed down, just so I could literally chase the cloud. It was - for me - beautiful. I love nature. It's magnificent.

We're going on our summer holidays this weekend. Up to Blackpool with my children in a caravan for a week. Staying at a site that we've stayed at many times before. Now that might seem dull and predictable, but it means that my children can have some freedom on the site. Freedom to come and go pretty much as they please. If they want to go up to the arcade for a bit - they can - because they know the site so (hopefully) they won't get lost.

Luke just sang a song to me the lyrics of which were along the lines of "I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I can't wait to see my brothers and sisters on my holiday because I love them. I'm so happy, I'm so happy". He is so happy and very very excited! Bless him.

My laptop has been an arse for me this last week. I've re-installed Windows on it three times. I'm getting a bit (lot) pissed off with it now.

My blogs are so so so shit it's upsetting me. I might mothball this effort until the new year. My one a day blog has completely sapped my words. Or - maybe I don't actually need this anymore. My head is still weird and messed up, but not AS messed up as it was when I started this blog. Maybe I'm "OK" now? Relatively speaking, of course.

Hmmmm.. Ok, so this might be the end of the road for anything close to a regular update on this blog.

Thanks for viewing & sorry I've bored you shitless. T'ra.

Repression

2010-08-01T22:39:00.000+01:00

Hi

So my daughter is finally here for a visit, which is nice - I'm pleased. I know it's an age thing, but I hardly ever see her because she just camps out in her room with her psp chatting on facebook.

My hair is fucked. It's such a state. My lovely wife clippered me tonight because it was so bad. I have a ridiculous hairline which produces a V at the front and goes all wonky at the back. I am SO tempted to clip it right back, but I look like an AIDS victim when it's like that.

My children have no manners. They're not nasty, they just don't naturally use please and thank you. We've done loads for them the last few days and a little bit of gratitude wouldn't go a miss. I don't want them to be grateful for every little thing I do because some things you just do as a parent, but just occasionally to acknowledge hard work would be nice.

I like being nude. Or rather - I'm comfortable being nude. Nude around the house. Nude on holiday. I'll never shy away from a nude dare. I have no hang-ups with nudity. Now, I'm no adonis, not even close to one, but for me, nudity isn't about having the perfect body and showing it off. It's not about anyone else - it's about me. I cannot explain (and I've thought about it a lot today) why I feel so comfortable about nudity. As a child, I am not aware that my parents were care-free in anyway when it came to nudity. My lovely wife, however - does not feel the same. I don't mean she's prudish about her body because she's not. She just doesn't want to be nude as often as me! :-) I love every part of my wife's body and my view is "it's a shame" that she doesn't feel the same way I do. Hmmmm. One to ponder for me.

I'm tired and cranky and short tempered today. All in all - an arse to live with. Sorry to those sharing a house with me.

Who'd Have Thunk It

2010-07-04T18:49:00.000+01:00

Well - I think I jinxed myself with my last, somewhat morose post.

My daughter did not come to stay this weekend. She went to the cinema to watch Twilight with her friends, instead. Fair enough. However, when I dropped my other children off with their mother this evening, she told me that my daughter has.... a boyfriend.

I took it all very well at the time, but driving home I quite literally was in a daze. I know she's months off being 14, but - just - no. No. Not my Abbey. I feel ridiculous because I feel so ... upset. She is obviously very happy and this is her first love. We all remember our first love's and it's such a special time. That said, I'm still not a single bit happy about it.

I need to dwell for a few more minutes then do some exercises.

Hmmmm.

Woah!

2010-07-01T23:24:00.003+01:00

Hello there singular reader

So today I found out that a girl who I used to work with has gone to jail for dealing drugs. I say drugs, I don't mean a bit of weed. Serious drugs. Heroin and Cocaine. It might seem trivial, but I don't know how to feel about this. See, I liked Ali (I seem to be using the past tense?). We worked together for several years and she was always always full of beans, bubbly and anyone having a down day, she'd cheer them up.

Back in the days when going to the pub for lunch was seen as normal, we spent many lunchtimes together (with others). She'd back-packed round Australia and it was her dream to return there to live. She absolutely adored the place. She won't be able to do that now. She won't be able to do so many things. She left my employer because she got a job paying more working on the Wirral. She had a good job. She had been with her boyfriend for years and years and loved him to bits. He's gone and another bloke became her boyfriend. They're both in jail now. I was talking to a friend from work about Ali today and we agreed that above all else - it is so sad, and such a shame. Such a waste.

On a slight tangent... We are having my children to stay this weekend and I'm silly happy about it. Well - I was. My wife just pointed out that my eldest daughter has posted on Facebook saying that her and two friends have tickets booked to see Eclipse at the cinema. It might not be this weekend, but I'd be bloody surprised if it's not. The thought upsets me, but I know it's something I have to deal with. She's 14 in September and I totally understand what it's like to be that age. She will have friends that she wants to go out with. Not boys though. No. No. No no no no no. Seriously, though. This is a really important time in my relationship with her. This is the time I have to let my baby girl go, and hope that she'll come back one day. I've made it sound worse than it probably is, but you get my point.

I feel like my live is changing. Maybe that's not such a big revelation. Life is a constant evolution. Everything changes - all the time.

Whilst I have given her the choice to make about whether or not she comes to stay here, the more often she doesn't, the harder it is. Right now, if she isn't here tomorrow, I think I may cry. If she is - I still might cry. Different emotions - same tears.

I feel low right now. It's probably for the best that I end this post.

Until next time.

Facets

2010-06-20T00:12:00.002+01:00

Boo!

Thought I'd put in an appearance over here. It's been a proper long time since the last blog I did on here - which seems to be normal now.

I've just watched the last episode in day 7 of 24, and it was a good one! It ended by highlighting the incredible bond between a father and a daughter. Particularly poignant at the moment.

I have just spent 15 mins stood on the roof of the building I work in. Not in a suicidal way, I hasten to add. It is lovely up there. We have a roof garden and I love going up there at night. It is so peaceful, and on a clear night like tonight, to stand there and see the stars shining, and the planes making approaches to land at Liverpool and Manchester, is very relaxing indeed. I could spend a lot of time up there.

It's another facet of my personality that doesn't get used that often. I like to reflect. That's kind of what I've used this blog for I suppose. But to stand alone and reflect in complete silence is an amazing feeling.

I've been doing a fair bit of tweeting recently. I had 2 replies from Liz McClarnon which pleased me (although I will admit to hamming it up a little for effect). I've also come across a lady on twitter who calls herself lady godiva. She's a nudey and has a fantastic attitude to it. She has been on telly (Sky Arts I think it was) when they did an all night live broadcast from London featuring different people on a plinth for an hour each. Her hour was her, nude, on a rocking horse, "educating" people about attitudes to nudity. As you may, or may not be aware, I feel completely cool about nudity and it doesn't phase me a bit being in that state. I have no idea where this woman lives or what she does, but she is amusing and interesting so she shall remain on my list of followers.

I feel well rough this evening. My stomach feels rock hard and I feel a bit ill with it. I didn't have any food before I came to work tonight and I still dont' feel at all hungry, which isn't like me. Weird. I probably need a great big crap. I'll keep you posted on that one, eh?

We watched Jason Manford on tv in work earlier and I was surprised at how funny I found him. In my had, I had decided that he was a bit annoying and I wasn't going to like him. I stand corrected.

I might have finished this blog entry for now. I'll save and publish, but there might be more to follow. Not sure.....

Peer To Peer

2010-05-20T13:47:00.000+01:00

Erm... Hello?

Thought it was about time I wrote something on here. I really do blame the other blog for zapping all my blogginess. Anyway, at least I have somewhere to come that doesn't involve me posting photo's every day!

At the weekend just gone, we attended Phil's 50th birthday party. It was - superb. Just about everyone there had a grand old time and celebrated way into the early hours. The next day, however, Deb and I were good for nothing. The joys of getting old (and out of practise!)

Deb joined slimming world on Monday and has introduced a new diet, or rather, a new way of eating. I don't mean like ingesting food up her nose or anything, it's more of a new way of thinking when it comes to food. I, too, have become a little more health conscious. I will now admit that my middle is slightly larger than it used to be. So, in my own way, I'm doing something about it. I'm never going to proudly announce that I've lost 2 stone in the last week or anything like that, but - I recognise that it is too big, and I'm dealing with it. My wife has been excellent regarding my taking part in the healthy eating business. I will be honest, I was worried that she'd be on my back about it and I knew that that would have the opposite effect. As it is, she's ace. She herself is doing really well thus far and we've had some lovely healthy meals this week.

I went swimming last week and loved it! Well, I would have loved it more if it hadn't been full of pensioners complaining about how full it was! I am also toying with possibly maybe riding my bike to work occasionally? I did it a few years ago (rode to my sisters which is a stones throw from work), and it did almost kill me. Maybe next time, I'll ride a tad slower.

Last week, I went for a hair cut at Dads and Lads in Springfield (not the Simpsons one). The lady barber was chatting away about nothing, as usual, and when she'd almost finished, she asked me a question that I have never ever been asked before. I didn't know how to respond to it. I was literally lost for words. She said "would you like me to trim your eyebrows, love?". She must have seen the puzzled look on my face because without me speaking, she acknowledged it was no, and started brushing hairs off my neck instead. The more I think about it, the more puzzled I am. I'm hardly Denis Healey!

Had a proper panic in work the other day. The "wiki" that I have developed over the last almost two years resides on quite an old server, and it died. A man drove from Liverpool to Salford at 4am to try and fix it, but it was not to be. Fortunately, later in the day, a man and a woman went from Manchester to Salford and they were able to fix it for me. I was very worried.

On Sunday (the day before slimming world), we had a Peters tea (the local Chinese). It's only a few minutes walk from our house, so I did just that. As I got near the corner where it is, I passed a parked car. A man got out of the drivers seat, and opened the rear door. He asked the female occupant of the vehicle what drink she wanted. I didn't hear her response, and to this day, I am still baffled as to what it must have been for him to retort "Shut the fuck up before I jizz in your eye", as he slammed the door shut and made his way up to the Chinese. What could she have said to angered him to that level???

Right. My lunch is over, and my lemonade is gone. Time for me to go and do something with the front garden. If it was up to me, I'd burn it, but my wife wants something slightly more... traditional. Grass.

Until next time....

Interest And Rejection

2010-05-01T09:13:00.000+01:00

Morning reader

Just a quick post for now. I've had about 5 hours sleep after being awake for 20 hours, so I'm suitably tired for my afternoon nap before my night shift tonight!

I've just found some websites that will monitor your twitter followers (I'm @adum by the way), and tell you who un-followed you. I almost signed up for one, but I'm not sure I could cope with the rejection. I had noticed that someone un-followed me and that set me off looking.

Whilst mooching round on tinternet last night, I came across another website that has listings for this very blog you're reading. People over at www.wikio.com actually seem to read this blog sometimes and several people have clicked the "like" button next to it. My "ranking" is increasing all the time, although I don't know what this means. It certainly looks good, though.

So yeah - rejection and interest all in one blog.

I said it'd be quick today and that is that.

Until next time!

Hairy Times

2010-04-27T19:22:00.001+01:00

Hi there

Sorry it's been a while. It's always been a while hasn't it? Hmmm.

We watched a programme on tv the other night called A Passionate Woman. It was a two-parter starring Billie Piper and Sue Johnston and it was absolutely fabulous. It told a story about regrets. A young woman had an affair with a man she fell passionately in love with, but he got killed. As the woman grew older, the regret ate away at her and sent her a bit mental. Deb and I agreed that we would not go mental because of regrets in our old age. I love my Deb.

However, she fell down the stairs last week holding our Luke. Luke banged his arm and Deb bruised her arse...

"Ouch"

Poor bruised wife.

Last week - in fact, exactly a week since, we gave Luke a hair cut. He looked like a proper scruffy tramp so we decided that rather than subject professional hairdressers to his screaming, we'd tackle it at home. Out came the trusty hair clippers and about 20 mins later, a tidy (ish) haired boy emerged. He claims it hurt loads, but I think otherwise.

Speaking of hair cuts, I am noticing more and more grey hairs. Around my ears, on my chest, and, of course - pubes. I'm not massively bothered by it on my head. I must have mentioned before, I am looking forward to going grey as I will look distinguished and interesting. Grey chest hairs - hmmmm. Not too sure about that. Maybe when we retire to the Canary Islands and I have a tan like David Dickinson, maybe then - they'll look ok. Pubes? Just ridiculous. If I was brave enough I'd wax.

Been working WELL hard on the garden during the last few days. Got a load of photo's over at OneADayFor365Days blog of my progress. As a result, my back is knackered and my shoulders hurt quite a lot. I also burned my lip and tongue on one bloody hot chip this evening. I was fortunate to have an icy cold can of Blackthorn to hand to ease my distress.

I am on day 5 of my 6 off and I can honestly say that I think this is the most productive 6 off I've ever had. It started with a visit from my lovely children (minus Abbey), which was ace. Weather was perfect and our new barbecue was christened. Lessons were learned from that, by the way. Following that, we had a relaxing Sunday evening with an Indian (meal, not person). Monday saw the start of the garden refurb and tomorrow will see me getting Deb's Corsa valeted. I can't remember what occasion I promised her I'd get it done for, but at least it's finally being done!

Right, that'll be that then - I'll do another of these sometime soon.

Be young, be foolish, but remember to be happy.

Goodbye reader...

Happy & Sad Easter

2010-04-04T22:28:00.000+01:00

Today has been a lovely day. It's Easter Sunday and all the people in the world who are THE most important to me, have been with me today.

The day went beautifully. The children played, I did a beltin' roast pork lunch, we then went to Haigh Hall and played some more before coming home to watch Everton on TV. The children went back late, and arrived in Rhyl shortly after 7pm. It was my lovely wife's suggestion that I take them back late, and it was inspired. Those extra few hours made such a difference to the day.

After I'd dropped them off, and was driving home, I got upset. It's been ages since I got upset after saying goodbye to them, but for some reason, today was the day. If I'd been asked at the time why I was upset, I'm not sure I could have said why. I had a think about it, and I think it's because today was so nice, and then I had to take them back. That, coupled with Luke being absolutely devastated about them going back - hurt me.

I then got to thinking about how lucky I am to have such lovely people. I absolutely adore my wife, she is beautiful and I don't think I give her the credit she deserves. She can be moody at times, but she's never moody just "because". It's almost always to do with stress caused in her job. My children are fantastic, too. I am very proud of how balanced Abbey and Robert are. Charlotte constantly reminds me of my mum. Matthew is a loon, but a very caring one. Luke thinks he's the boss of us all. To be fair to him, I can understand why. He isn't though. I am most proud of the fact that none of my children are "naughty". They are messy, but so am I. They are good children and I love them dearly.

Today has also made me think a lot about Christianity. I realise that the bible is a collection of works that tell various moral stories, but Jesus born of an immaculate conception? Even back to "the beginning" - Adam and Eve. None of it makes sense, yet week in, week out, millions of people all over the world go to churches and worship the character of Jesus Christ. Now, I was an alter boy in my younger years, so I'm absolutely not Jesus bashing, I'm just explaining that I've questioned a lot of stuff today. Stuff that you just accept as a youngster.

If you treat the bible, as I said earlier, like a book of moral guidelines, fair enough. It now also seems hypocritical to turn up at churches for baptisms/christenings, weddings, and funerals, but I will continue to do it. Ignore me, I'm just feeling weird at the moment.

I just had two spam fritters for my supper. Haven't had them in years!! I have missed them.

I shall go now - until next time.

See ya.

Damp

2010-03-31T19:08:00.001+01:00

Evening

I should be in work tonight (as I was last night), but due to unforseen circumstance, I am not.

I dropped Luke off at Helen's this morning, only to be called to collect him about 30 mins later. (10 mins after i'd gone to bed) The poor little man had been sick a few times so Helen, quite rightly, suggested he come home.

As you'd expect, he made a complete, somewhat miraculous recovery within about an hour of coming home.

In this time, Deb had contacted her mum to come and look after Luke whilst I went to bed. At about 10:30, whilst we were sat waiting, I heard a gush of water from upstairs. I rushed up to find water pouring in from the ceiling in the Girls bedroom. I got towels and put them down on the floor and flew outside to get a bucket to catch the remaining water. the ceiling had bowed and the paper on it had an 8" tear in it where the water was escaping from.

I rang the CIS with whom we are insured and it is currently in their hands.

The resulting to-ing and fro-ing meant that I actually was in bed for a total of 2 hours 20 minutes, having taken two telephone calls during my bed-time. Surprisingly, however, I feel ok at the moment. I can't understand why, but I do feel a-ok.

I deliberately didn't tell Deb about it whilst she was at work, to avoid any unneccessary alarm or distress. She's due home any minute and I'll tell her then.

OK - so she got home and was fine with things. Deb actually suggested a way we are able to get it temporarily repaired quicker than monday. I do love my wife.

The co-op shop was WELL wet this evening when I went. Well, outside it was, anyway. Have a look...

So tomorrow I will be taking the corsa to be fixed, arranging for the roof to be fixed, and then letting Sandra go home so I can take full care of Luke again. I'm also going to move the beds in the girls' room down into the playroom until the ceiling has been sorted out by CIS.

Update over....

About Time Too!

2010-03-28T18:35:00.001+01:00

I haven't posted on here for such a long time and most days, I kick myself for not doing so. It's made me feel like I was at school again, and I'd always leave my homework until 10pm on a sunday night then do it and it'd be shit. The only difference here is that I have no deadlines to meet.

I hope this isn't shit, though.

I am now convinced that my lack of blogging here is due to my daily blogging here. I see things on a daily basis that rile me and vex me, and I used to come here so often to vent and it'd be make me feel better. Well I've decided that now is a good time. It's sunday afternoon and I'm in work (on a break), so it's as good a time as any.

Tomorrow, I am going to be told that the building I currently work in is to close in two years time and we're moving to a fancy new one, somewhere in Skelmersdale. We can see only one reasonable location at White Moss Park, so we'll have to see what comes of that. I doubt very much that I'll learn anything other than what is freely available on the grapevine tomorrow, but if I do, I'll do my best to pop back and update you.

In the last month I've had an Ultrasound and an MRI scan. Ultrasound because my belly has been hurting a lot near to where I had a hernia years ago. The scan revlealed nothing abnormal. So I went back to my GP who has told me to consume loads of Omeprazole tables until further notice. Only been taking them for four days now, and I am not in the same sort of pain at all.

The MRI was marvellous to have done. It, too revealed nothing weird going on in my head. Weird things do go on in my head, but nothing physical is abnormal. I was only having that done because I was having a fair few dizzy spells at the tail end of last year. I've not had any for weeks and weeks now and I'm beginning to feel like a bit of a fraud. I shall not chase that one up.

The power in the building I'm in has just gone off twice in 2 minutes. Then the fire alarms went off. We had a good think about weather or not we could be arsed walking down five flights of stairs and then go and stand on the other side of the car park. We decided not to. The alarms eventually stopped and I rang the (to be fair) moron security guard. He told me he thought there might be a fire on the third floor but said it was probably due to the alarms going off. We really are in safe hands here.

It's Easter next weekend and snow is forecast this week. It says for Northern England. It really does mean Northern though. Newcastle, Carlisle, that sort of North. I maintain that we live in the North Midlands here. It's a frigging long way North until you fall into Scotland.

I am starting to yearn for things I used to do that I don't do any more. Things like my scanner. I spent just under £300 10 years ago and it is/was ace. I still have it, and it still works. I used to listen to the local constabularies on it but now they, like us, have gone digital so that's a no go.

I have also had desires to use a CB radio. I owned one of these for many years. My handle was "glo-worm". My 4 watt broadcasts could be heard all over the north west. It was in the era of pre-internet. In a time when people actually spoke to each other. Night after night I'd go "on the rig" and speak to all the friends I'd made on there. You would help taxi drivers or lorry drivers wtih directions round town, too. Yes it's sad and geeky, but that sums me up quite well.

I also had a dabble at some DJ'ing a few weeks ago and that blew my mind. I loved it SO much, and it made me want to DJ again. Being realistic though, you'd need to earn a fair bit of money to make it a viable venture. And you'd be out EVERY weekend evening or you're losing money. Shades Disco. RIP.

My idea for a disco would be from a "classic hits, with no R&B" point of view. Maybe not excluding every R&B track, but there would be veeery few. I think that offering soemthing like that would be good. I think people would want that. A few weeks ago during a lull in work I priced up DJ equipment. New, albeit. In the region of £2500-£3000 to get a half decent set up. It's not happening is it?

I've gone on for a while now, so sorry.

I've made the website look a bit more 70's with a new template and fancy wallpaper. Hope you like it.

I am gonig to go and get some vimto and get ready to go home to my beautiful wife and child. Then tonight, I shall sleep on my new memory foam pillow. Ace.

T-ra!

Just... Well - disappointing

2010-03-05T00:46:00.000Z

That's the way I feel about things at the moment. Work has been a pisser recently and I haven't seen much of my wife during the last few days.

I'm in work now (on a break) and when I finish at 7 it's home to bed then up for midday, prepare lunch for me and Luke, then off to Wales to collect my children who are with us for the forthcoming weekend.

I am considering moving this blog to Wordpress, from it's current host of Blogspot. I am also toying with Tumblr, which is supposed to be aesthetically very pleasing indeed. I'll have a mess with each and get back to you with the outcome....

Inside My Own Head

2010-02-18T22:26:00.000Z

Greetings

I had an MRI scan today. I may have mentioned it already, but if not, I had it because I've been having dizzy spells for a few months. I loved my MRI scan. It made a low, rhythmic "thumping" sound througout the whole 20 minutes I was in there. Really enjoyed it. I only hope I enjoy the results as much.

I collected our new car today, too. It's well nice, it is. To the untrained eye it looks identical to our previous Zafira, but this has 5 spoke 18" wheels and the last one had 6 spoke 17". This has a panoramic glass roof (with electric blinds inside!), and this does not have any model badges. i.e. it does not say Sri on the side. Oh - and it's a 1.8 petrol, instead of a 1.9 diesel. I like it. A lot.

Luke has decided that he's going to be shy when it comes to using the potty. He can't do anything on it if you watch him. Not that we sit watching him, but even in my peripheral vision, I can see him looking at me to see if I'm looking at him. As a result, he point blank refused to use it at his childminders house yesterday, favouring instead, to soak three sets of underpants, trousers and socks. Things have changed today and he's done a wee on it. Well done lad - it's the future, that.

I stumbled across what I think is my first ever blog today. I'd totally forgotten I'd done it. Even whilst reading it - I was thinking "are these words mine?". How very strange. Have a peek here if you want. Not much too it so it'll not waste too much of your time.

Luke and I are off to Wales tomorrow to collect my children. He is SO excited about it - as am I to be honest.

Got some ironing and playroom tidying and car getting ready to be done before we leave - all of which I'm looking forward to completing.

I'm tired now and I am distracted by this episode of Silent Witness which has proved to be very good.

Until next time - namaste

All The Latest Goings On

2010-02-11T04:08:00.000Z

Hey

Ok, so a quick catch up. After going through everything we went through with the IVF, it failed. Quite spectacularly actually. My beautiful wife produced follicles, but there wasn't a single egg in any of them. This is despite her being on the highest dose of medicine to stimulate them into producing lots of eggs. We were told on the day that this happens once, maybe twice a year, but there is no one explanation as to why it happens. We're going back to see the consultant on Tuesday to discuss things further with him.

Our Zafira car is going to be sold as soon as is feasibly possible. It has developed yet another fault with it's turbo charger which will cost in the region of £900 to fix. That, along with a full set of brakes and tyres is a bit too much. Brakes and tyres are a given, but If I spent the money to put them on, I'd only be waiting for the car to break again. So we're going to go an look at a few cars this weekend and see if any take our fancy!

Google have released a new product in the last few days called "Buzz". It's a new social networking sharing links and pics affair. Do we need it though? I am struggling to keep on top of my online social life with Facebook and Twitter. I'm not sure I need a Buzz in it, too.

Luke is doing REALLY well with his potty training. Have a look at my other blog for more details of that, along with his amazing gift to be able to shit numbers! Awesome.

Luke's child-minder, Helen, is off sick at the moment and it's a proper pain in the arse at the moment. Not the girls fault, obviously, she's recovering after having some sort of operation. I'm not sure what, but I'd love to know!

I've had my new phone for a month and a half now and I've only just worked up how to upload photo's to twitter from it. I disappointed myself by taking so long to work it out. Dammit.

Speaking of my lovely Samsung Jet phone, my lovely wife has taken the plunge and binned O2 off in favour of the splendid Virgin Mobile, and she too, will be the owner of a Jet in the next few days.

I'm in work at the moment and it's dull. However, I need to wee, so I'll go and do that.

Speak soon kids, speak soon.

Frustrating & Scary Times

2010-01-25T22:09:00.000Z

Evening

I feel compelled to write because I'm well stressed tonight. We started our final course of IVF yesterday. Medication has been mixed and my lovely wife's belly has been stabbed a few times. Then this afternoon she got a call from the clinic querying something that we know is ok but they don't think is ok. We are under the care of a consultant who himself has had to go into hospital so is going to be away from the clinic for a few weeks. Whilst I appreciate his predicament - it doesn't help us. As with "normal" pregnancies - stress should be to a minimum, and it's not.

Luke's being a complete arse this evening. He's being proper cheeky and refusing to do anything that is asked of him.

After waking up this afternoon, I moved all the furniture in the lounge and dining room out of it's place and dusted, mopped, and dis-infected everywhere in an attempt to deter that horrible bastard mouse. Anyway - within an hour of finishing it, it was running round again. Fucker.

My lovely wife has taken to watching So You Think You Can Dance. I admit, I did not sit down and watch the whole episode, nor have I watched it from the start, but my god - what a complete load of shite.

Luke has really started to develop his imagination over the last week or so. This evening, he sat relaying a conversation between some of his engines. It was lovely.

Oh - gossip. Some bloke was shot in the face on the land behind our house earlier on today. I say behind - if you leave our house and turn right - just up there. The police knocked (not all of them - just one) earlier to ask if I'd seen anything. I hadn't - so she want off in search of the perpetrator.

Whilst ironing my way through a mountain of clothes earlier, I was listening to my ipod. It threw out two "excellent" songs. They were....

And the rather cheesy.....

Ah the memories......

Weird Night

2010-01-24T09:21:00.000Z

Morning all.

I had a weird night last night. Went to work at 7pm for a night shift but quickly started to feel "iffy". By midnight I felt no better so decided to come home. I thought it would be good to stay up all night because I'm due in work again tonight, so that way I'd still be in "night shift" mode.

Got home about 12:30 and had a quick chat with my lovely wife who was in bed. I then chatted with friends online for a few hours before they all (sensibly) went to bed. Luke woke so I went up to see to find him in bed with my lovely wife. I said I'd let him fall asleep there (he was wide awake) and then go back up to move him.

I came back downstairs and watched Johnny Cash at San Quentin before drifting in and out of sleep for the rest of the night. And completely forgetting to put Luke back in his bed. It was such a weird night because each time I'd doze (for a matter of minutes each time), I was having really vivid dreams about being a child again. A recurring theme seemed to be that there was a car park barrier across the front door to my mum and dad's house and I couldn't get in. Very weird indeed.

Right - bacon butty time for me and Luke!

See ya!

Stinky Feet!

2010-01-17T00:15:00.001Z

I am rubbish at doing this blog.

I've typed and deleted and typed and deleted so many times - just to get to this stage.

My problem is that I am running another blog:- http://oneadayin2010.blogspot.com which I am updating every day and it just seems to be using all my blog-energy. I just don't know what to do !!

So - an update on my life during the last two weeks. work is so-so. Same old stuff re-hashed and presented to us as the next big thing.

This is all wrong. I feel like i'm forcing myself to do this and it's never been the case so far. I've made a few posts because i felt I had to, but i've always (just about) managed to squeeze something out to say. I feel completely empty at the moment, though.

My children are with us from Wales at the moment and that is lovely. 3 of the 4 are, anyway. My eldest daughter didn't feel well so stayed in Rhyl. Luke is properly over the moon to see them all. All 4 of them sat on the couch last night watching Forrest Gump, and Luke leaned into Matthew and said "I love you Matthew boy". He then leaned into Charlotte and said "I love you Charlotte girl". I could have melted right there. I feel so proud that they love each other so bloody much. I see scally kids in the street assaulting each other and generally being little bastards towards each other and it upsets me. I'm not saying mine are like the von-traps or anything, but i think they are above averagely well behaved! :-)

My lovely wife treated us all to a Taybarns lunch today and it was ace. I was the most restrained I've been in all my visits to Taybarns, having only 3.5 main courses and no desert. Well done me. The children really enjoyed it and I was (again) proud that they each thanked Debbie without any prompting from me.

My middle son - his feet proper reek. God bless him, he's only 8 so his foot hygiene is still developing. I've squirted fabreeze in his shoes and bathed him in my lovely minty shower gel stuff tonight. he is a minty boy now.

Ok. I've said stuff, but I haven't gone on for ages, and I actually do feel like I got into the swing of it towards the end. Sorry it's been another shitty post. I really will try harder. I think of loads of things to mention on here, but I never make notes of them at the time. I must use the voice recorder thing on my phone to keep notes.

I am such a sad wanker.

New Year, New........

2010-01-06T22:26:00.000Z

.....Stuff.

Hello reader

So here we are in a very very frozen Britain. I loved day one of the big snow fall of 2010. I got a fair few pics, which can be seen at my new "Take One A Day In 2010" blog. I am being a bit more "public" on that blog. I regularly post links to it from Facebook and I don't mind who sees it. This is more, well not private, but... not publicised. It's not that I'm particularly hiding it. Well I am - a bit.

Aaaaanyway - let's move on.

I'm a bit pissed off with the adverse weather - well - I'm on the cusp of being pissed off with it. If it wants to shit a load more snow down on us, then so be it. We had about 18 hours non stop - which was beautiful - thanks, god. But now - it's all bloody frozen. It's minus pissing loads at the moment and I have to go to work in the morning. It's forecast for minus eight tonight. That is too cold. There is no need for minus eight. I have two cars to defrost and make drive-able in the morning, too. My wife has to deliver our son to the childminders (fortunately just round the corner), and then get her lovely arse up to Bolton. I shall be attempting a cross-country drive to Skem - in a Corsa. Can't wait!

2010 has been a funny year so far. I can't quite get used to it being a new year. It normally takes me until February sort of time to accept it's a new year. From March to May is a bugger. That drags. May onwards to August flies and then it all slows down down down until November - when it speeds up again.

I am excited about getting a PS3 again now. Our £250 windfall is due to arrive soon, and that is my PS3 money. Until I want a DAB radio in the car. Which I won't - because I want to change the car! Arrrggghh. Money money money.

I sent a message to my eldest daughter yesterday, enquiring if her and my other children were all ok. Not heard anything back yet. She has inherited my disability to hold anything like a decent conversation. Although - being female - I'm sure she'll snap out of it in time!

Celebrity Big Brother started a few days ago and I am llllloving it!! I am tipping Dane or Ronnie Wood's shag piece to win. I think St Stephen might be one of the first to leave, though.

I am sat here in my dressing gown (that sounds SO old, and to be fair - it does look old) and I am roastie toastie!!

I'll end this blog with the photo of my snow angel that I made in our garden. I was nude! Give it a go - it's.. exhilarating, and not THAT cold, either!

I know it's crap, but - I wasn't for messing round and taking ages to do it!

See y'z.

Fascinating

2009-12-31T16:47:00.000Z

Isn't it strange how obsessed people become with what everyone else is doing on New Years Eve?

I'm in work today and I m amazed at how many times I've been asked "so - what are you doing tonight". I hasten to add, not in a chatty up type of way! I'm staying at home with my wife, son, sister, nephew and mother in law. I shall eat duck, and some party nibbles, as well as some splendid nuts. I shall drink one or two beers, then a fair bit of malibu. There - it's out in the open now. What's the big deal??

I like my new phone. I got my Shamshung Jet yesterday and I've had a reet good meddle with it today and it meets with my approval. The touch screen technology is particularly good. Even the way it handles bluetooth file transfers is impressive. I'm going to stop there as I can feel myself slipping down the slippery slope of geekness. One more thing, though, I have configured it to upload (and geo-tag) photo's when I take them, which is particularly nice.

Out of my annual review, at work, I have a load of work to do over the next few nights, with a view to potentially handing over the reigns of my beloved WIKI to someone else to manage. If I do relinquish it, I shall miss it a lot. It's an awkward bugger to administrate, but the end user has a nice experience whilst using it.

Girls Aloud are on TV at the moment, singing "live" at Wembley. That Sarah Harding is one diiiiiirty......

Righty Ho - everyone bar 4 of us have gone home now, so I think I'll while away the unnecessary last 2 hours and 15 minutes of my work in 2009 by watching silly video's on YouTube, and catching up on what the world is saying on Google Reader!

Tomorrow is the start of a photo a day. I'm actally excited by that! Not AS excited as the prospect of eating duck tonight! :-)

See you next year.

The Aftermath

2009-12-29T21:01:00.000Z

Well - that really wasn't too bad!

Christmas day went really well. I overfed everyone if the truth be told! I don't think I wrecked any of the food and everyone seemed to enjoy what they had. Lovely.

Boxing day started with a very heavy frost. It had rained overnight and then frozen. The road outside was total ice. No cars could get through, so my brother in law and I joined the few neighbours outside to help cut through the ice and break it up a bit. That afternoon, I travelled to Wales to collect my children and bring them back to us. On the way, I picked up my sister and my nephew so they could join us for Bank Holiday night, too. I got back to discover my lovely wife had prepared a fabulous buffet meal for us. Cheers!!

The night of the 27th brought a visit from our very good friends from Blackpool. We had a right good go on the karaoke, and the wii, and everyone seemed happy. When they left at about 1am, I remember our neighbours, Kath and Phil were out locally at a party, so I sent a text asking if they wanted to nip in for a sing! 15 minutes later, there they were, along with their daughter, Natalie. We sang for another hour or two before calling it a night at about 3am. That was a late one!

Christmas seems to have been so busy this far, and we've still got New Years Eve yet!!

I received lovely presents and am very grateful not only for them, but for all the time that I've been able to spend with loved ones.

Back to work tomorrow. Booo. Snow and sleet are forecast for the next few days. Snow I don't mind, but sleet's a pain in the arse. It's just messy.

I'm off to buy some batteries and a charger.

Goodbye 2009.

Deep Breath

2009-12-24T23:22:00.002Z

My god I'm tired.

It's Christmas Eve, and I've spent most of the evening tidying, cleaning and putting away. Oh, and a bit of ironing, too. But - I think we're just about there. All beds made up, rooms cleaned, playroom tidied and reddied for action, be it from children, or dart playing adults.

I've also sorted out all the karaoke CD's that we own, and ensured that the machine is in working order. I was given 18Gb of cd+g karaoke files from a bloke I work with, so those 6,500 tracks, along with the dozen or so cd's we have, should ensure a good selection of songs!

Today I have truly felt the responsibility of tomorrows meal. My beautiful wife has offered to prepare the starter (the one thing I was worrying about), so that took a load off my mind. I'm fairly happy that I can do the rest. It will take time, but we have that - there is no rush.

Today is the first anniversary of this blog! 12 whole months, 60 posts, and one follower. I'm happy with that! Happy birthday blog.

It seems wrong to me that people choose Christmas as a time to spend with families. Every day should be equally as important for families and loved ones. I want to remember every day for whatever it brings. In an attempt to do it, I am going to try my hardest to take a photo every day during 2010 and upload them to my Picasa album. Should be interesting!

Today, I was reminded of how lucky I am. I remembered back to when I lived with Dad at the house on Abbeystead. It was Christmas day, and his electricity went off. Not because of a power cut or anything like that. He'd had a pre-payment meter installed because he wasn't paying his bills, and he hadn't bought any credit for it. He drank it instead. I walked to the only place in Skem that was open that sold the little strips of magnetic paper, which would turn his power back on. I bought a £5 credit. With my own money. I thought little of it at the time, but looking back, it was so sad. I really am so lucky. Doesn't make me miss him any less though.

We have a busy Christmas coming up, and I know it's all going to go well. 2009 has been a tough year for many reasons, and I look forward to what 2010 has to bring.

I think it's only fitting to take time to remember those who aren't here to celebrate Christmas with us.

Happy Christmas Keith.

Happy Christmas Mum.

Happy Christmas Dad.

The Calm Before The Storm

2009-12-18T14:06:00.002Z

Greetings, reader.

I feel surprisingly calm today, considering that in 7 little days time, I shall be running round our kitchen like a loon. Changed plans on the meat front - as I'm going to be popping my Christmas cooking cherry, decided to go for just one meat - Turkey. Bought just shy of £20's worth of it yesterday and it's currently in my freezer. I just hope we don't end up like the Royle Family, trying to defrost the turkey with a hair dryer!

I think we've just about got it all sorted, anyway. A nice smoked salmon starter, with cheese and crackers, Full works main course to include roast potato's, roast parsnips, carrots, sprouts, etc. And for desert... I can't remember. A cake, I think.

It snowed last night. I think most parts of the country saw some, but, as ususal, the South-East had the lions share. I feel incredible resentment towards the South-East of England. Any extremes of weather that are thrown at this country - they get it. It actually angers me. It's ridiculous.

Luke and I ventured out to ASDA this morning to get a few bits off a list that has been floating round for a few days. I approached a parent and child spot that was about to be vacated when I was stopped by a parking attendant who was stood in the middle of the road. She was a lady who spoke with a Caribbean accent, who told me that I couldn't park there because it is for parents and "childs" only. I told her I was aware of that, and pointed at Luke who was sat in the back of the car. She apologised, saying she didn't think I had a child with me. She hadn't even looked! Bizarre.

Tomorrow is the 70th birthday of my dad. Stephen James Francis. I was going to get all nostalgic again about how special Christmas would have been if he were still around. It would, of course, but he would want absolutely nothing to do with it. To the best of my recollection, he didn't enjoy a celebration, my dad. He would attend parties and functions, but he'd sit at the back, on his own - and he was happy with that. All my memories of him sat in his local, The Almond Tree, are of him sat on his own. People would often come and sit with him, and he would happily engage in conversation, but after a few minutes, they would return to their own seats.

I think I get my conversational ability from him. I am crap at phone calls. Ring me with a purpose and we can explore and ultimately achieve that, but don't expect small talk from me because I can't do it. Is that a Steve Francis thing, or just a bloke thing? I don't know.

It's going to be a "funny" old Christmas this one, but I know that we can get through it together, and embrace whatever 2010 has to throw at us.

I replaced the bulbs in the lights that shine over our driveway today. I've been wanting to put some of them energy saving fella's in them for ages, and today was the day. I look forward to seeing how they compare to regular bulbs tonight, when it becomes dark.

My lovely wife has had two evenings out this week, attending various Christmas "do's". She's a lucky thing, although, by her own admission, she was a little delicate after one of them. That's what a good do is all about, though - enjoying yourself!

Did I mention in my last post that we have a mouse living with us at the moment? Well here's an update - he's been here for over a week now. He's a cocky little bugger and often walks through the room when we're sat in it. I was SO close to ending his sorry life earlier this week, when I cornered him in the dining room. I attacked him with the Thompson Local, but missed. He ran past me and I chased him down the kitchen. We currently have four traps baited and waiting for him to show an interest. If he's not gone by sunday, I'm going to get some glue strips to put down near to where I think he's coming in and out. They're cruel - I know they're cruel, but he's not playing ball by letting me chop his head off the conventional way. Bastard thing.

I now have two hospital appointments in January. One for my umbilical hernia, and another for my dizzy spells. I'm a wreck.

My phone - oh god my phone - is driving me properly mad. Twice today it has decided to switch itself off. It's completely getting on my tits. I can take out an upgrade with 3 from the 26th December, or wait until my 18months are up on the 26th April, if I want to leave them. I've done a bit of digging (surprised?), and have decided that if I'm not having an iPhone (which just isn't feasible, due to costings), then I want a Samsung Jet. 3 will do one for me for £25 with unlimited internet. I want to pay less than that, so I'll see if they'll do me some sort of deal when I call them after Christmas.

Last week, Luke and I spent a lovely afternoon in Wigan, feeding ducks on the canal. I feel really lucky to be able to do that with him. Photo's are here. He is being very "huggy" today. He's also showing signs of tiredness which isn't good as we're off to Rhyl in half an hour or so. Looks like I might have to take the hit of him having a wee snooze. Ah well.

Finally, today is the end of a broadcasting era. Sir Terry Wogan hung up his breakfast show headphones for the last time, and bowed out in the most gracious manner you could imagine. I doubt his like will ever be heard again. Watch here, for the last couple of minutes of his show.

I will do my best to squeeze another blog-ette in before Christmas. I have 36 hours in work to do before the big day, finishing at 7am on the morning of the 24th.

Now - go and do some panic shopping and buy shitty stuff for people you love simply because you think you need to buy them more than you already have!

Yours, walking in the air.....

....Things....

2009-12-08T04:13:00.001Z

Ay up.

Christmas is coming which can only mean one thing. The goose must be getting fat. No, that's not right. It can only mean that my arse is starting to get twitchy about feeding the family on Christmas day. I am going to visit my local butcher to ask for help. I want to buy an appropriate amount of meat (I have decided on turkey and lamb), and appropriate cuts of meat, so I shall ask for assistance from my local butcher!

Last weekends visit from the children went well. Didn't do anything massive, like take them for days out or anything like that, but I did get to spend time with each one of them in turn, which is equally important. I sometimes think that I should do more when they visit, but doing more means less time spent with them. I don't know what they want from the time we spend together, but all I want is to spend time with them.

Luke's been a bit coughy and sniffy and generally off-colour for the past few days. Last night, it was suggested to me that I sleep in the girls room so I could get a decent nights sleep before work. When I walked in, there was a note on Charlotte's bed, which read "I miss you daddy, love charlotte". Not surprisingly, it made me cry. Even now, as I type this, my eyes have filled up. She is completely adorable. The children are back in 9 days, which isn't too bad at all.

I am in work at the moment on night 2 of 4. I booked night 1 off, which is always nice. I have a doctors appointment later today, at 10:15. It is to discuss the results of my thyroid tests that I had done recently. Hope it's not too serious??! I shall keep you posted.

I had a bit of a tussle with another driver on my way into work this evening. I noticed that this car ( a red corsa) was right up my arse whilst I was driving down a country road. Whenever anyone does that to me, I slow down. There was an opportunity for the driver to overtake me, but it didn't. We arrived at a set of lights and only then did I notice that the driver was a young female! I was at the front of the queue at the lights, so as they changed, I engaged sport mode and booted away. She stuck to me like glue. We entered a built up area and I drove within the speed limits. At a roundabout, I noticed that a car was coming round, so I jumped out, leaving a reasonable distance, but not enough distance for her to join me. She had to completely stop whilst I was away down the dual carriageway. I won. I was pleased.

Right, I'm going to go and sleep for a short while on my break as I have to be awake for another 6 hours and without an hour's kip, it simply isn't going to happen.

As ever, it's been lovely.

Oh - the title of this post? I was listening to Robbie Williams' album "Swing When You're Winning". His duet with Jane Horrocks is one of my favourites!

Byzee bye

I Gotta Feelin

2009-11-27T11:00:00.001Z

Yowser yowser it's been a long time.

I apologise for that. I have been away for a week with Luke and my lovely wife, but I've been back almost another week and all week long it's been playing on my mind that I haven't blogged yet. It was becoming a vicious circle in my head because I have always said that I'd never post for the sake of posting, but then again, I have got a fair bit to comment on. So - here we go!

As I just mentioned, I've been on me hols. We went to Corralejo, Fuerteventura, and it was properly lovely. We stayed half-board at the Oasis Dunas apartments and they were brill. When we booked it at Co-op Travel in Wigan, I asked for a pool view. They didn't let me down. Here is a Google Map I've just knocked up to show you where we were! The weather was lovely, too. We had one overcast day, and that was the day we went to the zoo so that wasn't too bad at all. I drank Malibu, played on the beach, had a camel ride, and saw my wife naked loads. It was perfect!

Luke was SO well behaved on the plane both flying out and coming back. I felt a bit cruel on the way back. We didn't let him sleep all day, a feat that he'd achieved on his own for a few days whilst we were away. However, our flight wasn't until 20:40 and each day he'd gone without sleep, he was asleep by 20:30 latest. The bus trip to the airport from the apartments was about 40 mins and my word he struggled. His mum and I literally poked him to keep him awake. His eyes were rolling as the bus pulled into the airport.

However - once there... he found his second wind. They had a fantastic park area in the departures lounge and he loved it. Running round like a loon for ages and ages. Our flight was delayed by approx 1 hour but still Luke kept going. When we eventually got a gate, we put him in his buggy whilst we queued. Only then did he sleep - and very quickly it was, too. He slept pretty much all the way home. We were both so very very proud of him.

We got home a little before 3am on Sunday morning. I was in work on the Sunday night. Proper boooo that one. I decided that I'd stay awake and sleep Sunday afternoon before work. It didn't work. I remember it being 5:30, next thing it was 10am when Deb and Luke woke. Bugger.

We have also been for an appointment with Care at Manchester about our "free" go of IVF. As I was typing that sentence, the delivery man called with the drugs. Weird. Weird again is that Deb just rang! Spooky shit man.

Oh - bought a PSP this week. 2nd hand one from Game in Wigan. £59.99! Bargain if ever there was one. Got a free copy of Gran Turisimo thrown in, too. Very very pleased with that indeed. They tried to flog me a 2nd hand 2gb memory card for it for £14.99 but I resisted. Found a new 4gb one on play for £13.89. Just need a case for it now - might have a lookski on ebay when I'm done blogging at y'z.

I am missing my children loads. I'm going to be seeing them next weekend but It has been so bloody long since they were last here, it's horrible. Very.

I am really looking forward to Christmas this year. I'm not normally one for Christmas and all that, but Christmas is being held in our household this year. At least the Christmas meal side of it is. I am both very very scared and excited. See, I'm not a chef. Not by a long way, but I volunteered my chef-ing, so we'll see how it goes. I'm confident I won't poison anyone, but they may not entirely enjoy the food that I present to them.

My beautiful wife had an excellent idea for a starter - Cup-A-Soup (Royle Family inspired). We'll see.

Luke's getting really good with wee-ing in his potty at the moment. The last few evenings, he's been running round nappy-less and whenever he's needed a wee - off he goes to his potty and does it. We've even had 2 number 2's in there too! Well done, son!

Riiiiight - I think my work here is done. I will try so hard not to leave it so long next time.

Buene Suerte y adios!!

Mission Complete

2009-11-12T09:54:00.005Z

Hello there reader

Firstly, allow me to apologise for the gap betwixt blog entries. I have stuff to say, that is a certainty, but for whatever reason, I just haven't came on here to say it.

Ok, as promised, here are some "snaps" of the newly decorated dining room.

We actually chose a different wallpaper initially, but my lovely wife had the sense to ditch it in favour of this floral number.

Those bloody walls took 4, maybe 5 coats of while emulsion to hide the BLUE paint that I discovered once I'd torn the old wallpaper down. Thanks for that, Mick.

That smashing little boy that seems to live with us likes it, anyway.

I shall digress from happy things to things with have a) saddened, b) enraged, and c) made me feel melancholic.

a) Saddened

We had my children stay with us last weekend and it was ace. I love how at ease they are when they're here and I love seeing how much they love Luke. They really do adore him, and him them. My lovely wife even gets the odd hug or two! I took them back to Liverpool-on-sea on Sunday afternoon, the 8th November, and they will not be with us again until Friday 4th December. That saddens me. My shift pattern dictates that I am working every single weekend in November, and since I can only see the children at weekends, then I have to take the hit. Whilst planning dates for next year, now I know what the score is, I shall plan more wisely, and endeavour to get them here at least a couple of times per month.

b) Enraged

It was initially reported in the media at the beginning of October, but now that a sentence has been passed, it's back in the spotlight once again.

A 16year old boy raped a 7 year old. His punishment? A community rehabilitation order. The child's parents are devout Christians and were able to somehow forgive him. Judge Adrian Smith took this into consideration and dished out the most disgraceful "punishment" for the most disgusting crime.

So - 8 days later, armed with his rehabilitation order, he kidnapped and raped a 5 year old boy. It makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomach that this rapist was allowed to walk the streets and 8 days later, did it again. So the 7 year old boys parents were able to forgive him - well done to them. Surely, knowing that such a heinous crime had been committed, he HAD to serve some sort of custodial sentence to "rehabilitate" him.

Everything is ok now, though. He has now been sentenced to serve a minimum of 3 years. 3 years and 4 months to be precise, but he'll be eligible for parole after 3 years as he's been under lock and key for the last 4 months. The judge who presided over the 16 year old's 2nd rape trial also revoked the community rehabilitation order and sentenced him to ... 3 years and 4 months (to run concurrently) for the rape of the 7 year old. Just to end my enraged section - he raped a 7 year old AND a 5 year old and will spend 3 years behind bars. This country's judicial system is fucked.

c) Melancholy

I noticed on Facebook this morning that my one time best friend, Danny, recently got married in Cuba. My earliest memory of Danny is us crashing into each other on our push bikes in 1980. We both ran off in tears, only to be reunited a few minutes later by our mums demanding we each apologise to the other.

From there on, for the next 15 years, we were inseparable. We met a few years ago for the first time in several years, at my nephews' christening. He'd changed so much. He used to have this hard exterior, but underneath was a funny lad who enjoyed a laugh. He seemed like someone I used to know vaguely, which is a shame. I wish him well in his marriage, I am certain it'll last. They got together when we were still friends, back in (I think) 1992.

When my dad died in 1998, I was told my a female police officer whilst sat in the back of her car, parked outside my dad's house. I felt completely numb. I remember thanking her for telling me. I then got out of the car, and wandered round the estate where dad lived. Danny and (his now wife) Joanne, lived on the same estate. I went to their house, knocked, and Danny answered. I told him what had happened, and completely broke down on his doorstep. He hugged me for ages, then made me a cup of tea. I'm now trying to understand why I did that - why I went to his house. We hadn't been close friends for some years at that point. He was there for me as a friend when mum died 11 years earlier. Continuity? I don't know.

I have just read this last paragraph back and it is so typically me. It's like I cling on to the past, and never look around me and enjoy what I have now. I just learned something new about me.

Right - time for me to get a grip. Myself, my beautiful wife, and my chatty son are flying out to Fuerteventura on Saturday and I am well excited. I can't wait to spend loads of family time with them. I almost typed "relaxing" then, but I'm sure it won't be. I am looking forward to spending busy days in the pool or on the beach (Luke really must overcome his irrational fear of sand), then relaxing in our apartment during the evenings.

So I'll be back in a week or so, hopefully, with some more snaps!

T'ra a bit.

Almost There Dear

2009-10-30T22:58:00.001Z

Greetings

Another work one, this. Always makes me nervous, but I'm in a bloggy mood, so here we go!

I am missing all my people. My lovely wife and youngest son, are enjoying their second night at her mum's, whilst I work my last night. I will see them tomorrow and that makes me happy. My other four children seem so very very far away, and it's making me sad.

They stayed with us last weekend and I really enjoyed the time we had together. We even managed to have an extra bonus day, which was lovely. After they'd gone, I was in the playroom, and I found Charlotte's (youngest daughter) calendar. She writes all sorts of stuff on it, about friend's she's going to see, or TV shows that she wants to watch. On the 1st October, the entry said "I miss my dad". It felt like she'd reached into my chest and pulled my heart right out. I won't lie - my eyes welled up.

This morning, towards the end of my nigth shift, Abbey appeared online and started talking to me. It was lovely to have 40 mins chatting away about insignificant things with her. Then this evening, Robert did the same. He told me he broke his nose yesterday by falling over in the living room and hitting a TV stand. I never know if they really have suffered bad injuries, knowing how their mum likes to exagerate and dramatise situations. Either way - I hope he feels better soon.

I am going to try and get the painting of the dining room finished during my 48 hours off work that I have this weekend. There's a lot to do, but I reckon if left to it, i'll be reet.

I spent a while "chatting" with a girl called Claire during the night. She writes a blog called "A Little Piece Of Me". I've followed it for the last year or so and it celebrates it's third birthday today. She's a fellow scouser and a fellow blue, too! Her blog has been an inspiration to me, and I heartily recommend taking 10 mins to read through it. http://crpitt.blogspot.com/

I spent a while during the week, flattening my laptop and installing Ubuntu (again). I gave it more time this time. Still, I'm going back to Windows yet again. Ubuntu is so so so close to being perfect, but the complete lack of decent iTunes support and synchronisation left me wanting. There IS iTunes support, but it's basic. I spent bloody ages creating an "on the go" playlist on my ipod. In iTunes, when I next synced the pod to the laptop, the on the go playlist would sync back onto the laptop. Using Songbird (the best of the bunch of media players with itunes support), it just lost the list completely. I've said before, In this age of technology, I shouldn't have to make sacrifices, and that is what I'll end up doing if I stay with Ubuntu.

Sorry Mr Gates - please can I come back in?

Heartbreaker

2009-10-25T21:38:00.007Z

I was reminded by my lovely wife yesterday, that it's been over a week since I've blogged. Thanks wife - here we go.

Normally, something happens, a trigger if you like - and that inspires me to write about what is happening. This week has seen several triggers, but I don't feel that I can write about them in detail as they are too private and upsetting.

Last week at work saw my boss seemingly constantly pissed off. I can't remember if I mentioned it in my last post, but some of my colleagues got a little too involved in a multi player computer game and didn't notice that the arse had fallen out of the Wide Area Network in Manchester. As a result, the bringing in of laptops has been banned. Fair enough, but it's really tough going without one. I used to listen to hours of music and podcasts. Now I can still do that using my iPod, but it's not as easy to manage. Can't wait to be in a position to get an iPhone.

My children have stayed with us an extra night for this visit. We (Deb, Luke and myself) were originally supposed to be visiting my friend Jon and his wife and son yesterday, but Luke and Matthew were unwell, so we've postponed the visit.

This past week, I've stripped the wallpaper off the dining room walls, painted the ceiling and coving, sanded down the wooden panels, and given the walls a coat of white. The wooden paneling is going to be painted some sort of shade of brown, the walls given a "pecan" coloured paint, and Phil's wall is going to be papered. I'll post a pic when it's all done.

I only wish I wasn't in work this week as it'd be perfect to get it all done.

My laptop is really starting to piss me off now. The wireless card is knackered in it, so I need an ethernet cable plugged into it all the time in order to be online. The battery is also shot to bits so if i dare unplug the power cable from it, it sweeps it's virtual legs from under it and it switches off immediately.

I'm in two minds weather or not to delete this blog as it's been so uneventful so far.

The last two nights have been very strange, dream-wise for me. On Saturday night, I had a dream that involved me bumping into a girl I was at school with, Joanne Higham, in a nightclub in Wigan. Strange for a few reasons, notably because I don't go to nightclubs in Wigan anymore, and she lives in Spain! So then last night, I had another dream where I bumped into another girl I was at school with, this time in The Concourse shopping centre in Skelmersdale. I told her that I'd bumped into Joanne the night before, and she told me that she already knew because she was there and I'd been talking to her. So - I had a dream - about a dream. I don't think I've ever ever done that before. I'm wondering what I'll dream about tonight now!

I've just cut the hair of my two eldest son's in an attempt to get my youngest to engage in a hair cut too. It just wasn't to be. I think he thinks that I'm going to chop his head clean off. His fear of it is completely irrational. He's never been hurt or damaged with a hair cut.

Speaking of damaging my son, have I told you about his first trip to Accident and Emergency? Yeah - he was involved in an incident along with stairs and a large plastic garage. The garage assaulted my son, and his head bled. A lot.

As you can see from this photo, he was still a little shocked following the injury. Once he'd been seen at the hospital by a doctor who was at best fourteen years old, he was sent on his way and told he'd be 'reet.

I'm off to have a shower and to try and persuade my wife to let us go to Taybarns so we can eat like gluttons before taking the wee folk back to the land of dragons, leeks, and bestiality.

Baaaa for now.

Proud As A Peacock

2009-10-16T08:57:00.002+01:00

Since my last note, my lovely wife's insides have been scanned and subsequently harvested. The slight mishap with the injections fortunately didn't have any serious consequences.

When scanned, she was found to have 5 follicles. Two days later we were at the hospital again, this time for the collection. It was at this point that we had to make a decision. To enable us to continue with the egg-share programme that we had originally started on, my lovely wife needed to produce 8 eggs. Each follicle "can" produce more than one egg, so there was a chance that that could be the outcome. However, we needed to prepare contingency plans. Less than eight eggs leaves you with two choices. You can either donate all of the eggs to the other couple, or keep all of the eggs for yourself. If you produce three eggs or less, you have to keep the eggs for yourself. "We" produced 5 eggs.

We had a good chat about what was the right thing to do. We evaluated everything, including the offer of a free cycle of IVF if we donated the eggs. Something else also borne in mind was the fact that another couple, who are unable to produce any eggs, have been waiting for this day for months, if not years. All things considered, and consider we did - we opted to donate them all.

I can honestly say, hand on heart that the last time I felt so proud of my wife was the 8th of May 2007, the day she gave birth to Luke. My heart feels like it is swollen. The last 40 odd days haven't been easy, not only the physical aspect of having to inject every day, nor even the lack of sleep involved in having to wake up at a certain time to inject, but emotionally, it's been really difficult. After all that, to agree to donate them all is an absolutely incredible gesture. I will never ever forget this week.

Given what happened regarding the IVF, one of the first things we did when we had the time together was to go and book a holiday. We are going to Fuerteventura in four weeks and one day. I am very much looking forward to having a nice, relaxing week away, and I'm sure my lovely wife is, too.

Tonight sees our return to Derby, to visit friends there. This is our first return since my flagrant drunken display back in July. Not only that, but the couple that we spent most of the night with, Dawn and Glen are going to be there too, tonight. We are all staying over and I'm sure it'll be a lovely evening. Who knows - I might actually be able to resist the urge to expose myself!

Tomorrow is my mother in law's birthday. It's going to be a tough one for her. I've spoken about the "firsts", following the tragic death of my father in law, and this is another one of them. It will be a relaxed day, hopefully a busy one, so as to give her less time to reflect. The important thing is to get through the day. Fingers crossed.

Then, back home on Sunday. I'm going to strip the wallpaper from the Dining Room when we get home. Maybe. I need to discuss that with my wife first. I've just planned it forward and I'm not sure when we can buy some new paper. Hmmm. Do we even want paper? Would it not be nicer to paint it? Decisions decisions....

Speak soon, reader

Too Much Too Little Too Late

2009-10-11T00:19:00.004+01:00

Greetings one and all.

It's been too long since I last posted, I recognise that and can only offer my most sincere apologies.

We have 3 of my 4 children who live in Wales with us this weekend. My now thirteen year old eldest looked a tad unwell on Friday, so decided she was staying at home with her mum. I do miss her.

Today has been a good day. Well - mostly a good day. In bed last night, my lovely wife thought that something was amiss regarding the IVF injections that I've been giving her for the last "ages!". This morning, she contacted the clinic who confirmed that for the last week, we should have been having 2 lots of injections instead of one. We "rushed" into Manchester, where they gave her a different injection and another to take home for me to stab her with later today.

When I say we rushed into Manchester, that much is true. However, once we arrived in the City of the funny accent, traffic ground to a halt. Who decided it was ok to a) have a rugby league final, b) close the A57(M) Mancunian Way, and c) have a shit load of (probably) racist protesters in the city, along with another shit load of protesters protesting against the first lot of protesters - ALL on the same frigging day! A total piss-take is what Manchester was today.

Eventually, we landed back home where we had a bite to eat and a nice relax before setting off for Blackpool. We only saw half the lights last time, so tonight was the night to see the rest. Also, my eldest son celebrated his birthday last weekend, so I wanted to treat him to a trip round the Dr Who exhibition. We got to Blackpool and paid a quick visit to our good friends Paul and Joanne (and their children). I was then taxi'd into Blackpool where Rob, Matthew, Luke and myself disembarked and went Dr Who'ing! Following that, we had a bit of a mooch round the town - laughing at the drunk people and commenting on the incredible number of scantily clad fluorescent hen parties that were circulating.

Back to Paul and Jo's after that, where Jo had made some pizza's for us. Paul and I visited their local chippy and got about 5lb of chips for the bargain price of £1.80. Seriously, I've never ever seen a bag of chips like that before. Awesome. Well done Mr Chang. Or was it Ying?

We left our friends at about 10 and took a quick poll of children as to weather or not we'd do the lights. YES was the answer, so off we went. By the time we'd reached Bispham, Luke and Charlotte had adjourned to sleep-ville. When we arrived back home at 23:55, only Robert was still awake. Will they lie in until 10am tomorrow? Not a cat in hell's chance.

I haven't had a drink of alcohol in earnest for some time now. I had two glasses of wine last night (and the last can of beer in the fridge), and woke up with a bit of a headachey thing this morning. Weather or not it's a phase, I don't know, but I really don't feel like having a drink of late. Maybe I've got used to not having any. Not sure. I'm sure there will be times when I want to drink, but right now - I'll pass thanks.

I started reading a book today that I loaned from my brother in law last year sometime. I'd really like to read it and get it back to him - it's playing on my mind now. Might start taking it to work with me and reading it in the lulls that happen every now and again.

Oh - we have new doors and furniture in our house. I am very very happy with them all. All expertly delivered / installed / fitted. Well done Safestyle and DFS.

It's late, and I'm hungry. Gonna down a piece or two of toast along with a lovely glass of... milk!!

Until next time....
MOOOOOOOOOO

Good Grief / Bad Grief

2009-09-29T22:12:00.003+01:00

Today we got back from Llandudno. Late Saturday night, I booked us two nights at the Grand Hotel in Llandudno as a last minute break away.

We dropped the children off in Rhyl on Sunday afternoon and drove an extra 30 mins over to Llandudno. We paid extra for a premier room with a sea view. I do like a nice view. The room wasn't exactly "premier". Woodchip wallpaper, shower that squirted water everywhere, refrigerator didn't work. I think it's fair to say that Llandudno is frequented by those of advanced years. All those pensioners proper let their grey hair down at night. They had a pensioner karaoke and my god they can belt out a tune. I know this because our room was right above the bar where they were singing. Not happy. Who'd have thought that me, the 35 year old would be lay in bed, all pissed off at the noise the pensioners were making!?

On our full day there, we went for an explore in the town. Found a smashing bookshop run by two children. From there, we decided to take a trip up "The Great Orme". Very impressive sounding it is too. We found the tram station that takes you on the first half of the journey up the side of the mountain, paid - and got on. It is another testament to Victorian engineering that that thing still moves. There is a wire between the tracks and the electric motors on the tram grab it, and pull the tram up. The gradient is mental and it really should not be able to move. It's only gone wrong once in over 100 years. 13 people died, but lessons were learned.

We got to the top and the cloud was... low. We couldn't see much but we still managed to spend a couple of hours up there. Luke and Deb enjoyed themselves, too - which is the main thing.

That evening, we ate out at a Wetherspoons that my (not normally) eagle eyed wife spotted during our initial mission of discovery. It was an incredible place. It is called the Palladium and (as you might have guessed) it used to be a theatre. We ate in the stalls!

After we checked out this morning, we drove home via the Welsh Mountain Zoo, which overlooks Colwyn Bay. Very nice it was too. At 10am, I think we were the first visitors to arrive, which was splendid! We had the zoo to ourselves. Luke was very impressed with all the animals and birds - especially the monkeys. He decided to call the monkeys Michael. All of them. After watching a display featuring some birds of prey, followed by some marching penguins, we set off home. "Back to Luke's house Daddy" was the call from the back of the car.

Called in at Costco on the way home and picked up some bits for our evening meal. "Days" by The Kinks came on the radio as we left Costco. I turned it off. I adore the song (albeit the Kirsty McColl version), but I knew the effect it would have on my lovely wife. As well as being played at my mums funeral, it was played at her Dad's.

Grief is a funny old thing. It's one of those emotions that you hope you never have to have any contact with - but we all do. More than any other, it manifests itself in so many different ways. Some people carry on as normal, bottling it up. Others have a huge release and then move on. Others simply can't accept that such a thing has happened to someone so special in their lives.

Why? Why is the one word question asked more than any other. And whilst it is only one word - there is no answer. Nobody knows why. It is one of those things in life that has no logic. It is not a cause and effect thing. It doesn't happen because someone has been bad or done wrong. It just happens. And it hurts so much.

I have spoken before about how I bottled up my grief surrounding my mum's death when I was 13. That wasn't right - and it wasn't wrong. It was my way of coping. I sometimes regard myself as feeling numb when it comes to grief, but I'm not. I certainly accept that I don't know what to say to help people deal with it. My lack of communication is open to misinterpretation, but all I have to draw on are my own experiences of "proper" grief and I'm not sure that what I did is the way other people "should" deal with it.

So yeah - you do what you have to do. You exhibit whatever emotions you have to. You will never get "over" it, but you will eventually get "used" to it. It's shit - but that's life.

The Longest Hours

2009-09-21T02:27:00.005+01:00

I don't think people realise just how long a night can be until you've been awake during loads of them. They are OK up until around 2am. Sometime between 2 and 3am things really start to slow down. By 4, it's hard. It remains bloody hard through to 6am. From 6 onwards, the end is in sight and you can start to perk up a bit then.

I don't know about other people who work nights, but I use music to get me through the night. I spend quite a while deciding what mood I'm in, then I will build a playlist, or choose an album in iTunes and that should see me through. This evening, we (myself and 2 friends I'm working with), have had 5 hours of DMC Dance Classics. Every one was a winner.

After that, I chose my generic 80's playlist, and set it on it's shuffling way. It hit the bar a few times, but - it threw out some utter classics. Allow me to share a few of it's findings if you will....

Firstly - Sam Brown, with Stop.

I properly LOVE that song. It oozes emotion and tells an excellent story to boot!

I'll only post one more because I don't want to bore you TOO much!

Another properly good song, if not a little cheesy. Nothing too unexpected for those that know me, eh?

I remember when I was younger, going on holiday with my friend and his family. I can't remember if It was 1984 or '85. I suspect 85, though. Anyway - we stayed in a caravan in North Wales. I'd love to tell you exactly where, but for the life of me I can't remember. Inside my head now, when I look back at it - it was idyllic. My friend's mum was a good friend of my mum and I was treated like her own son.

It was during that holiday that I had my first proper crush on a girl. Helen, or Hayley or something like that. She had no idea, of course, because I wouldn't say boo to a goose, never mind "heeeelllooooo" to a girl! Myself, my friend Danny, Helen or Hayley and her sister hung round together for several days, playing pool and playing chase. It was all go, back then! Eventually, she went home to Widnes (I remember that detail, strangely enough), and we returned to Skelmersdale, with only fond memories of my first crush, and that Michael Jackson song running through my head!

Tangent coming up......

I spent a good while chatting with an old friend of mine from School last night via the miracle that is Facebook. Maria and I were not the closest of close friends at school, but we always got on really well. It was really nice catching up with her and hearing what she's up to with her life now. I love being able to do that. I made so many good friends at school, and I hardly see any of them now. I'm pleased that Facebook has given me that opportunity to keep in touch with those special people.

Not sure if I've mentioned already that we've bought Abbeys 13th birthday present for her? She is going to receive an 8gb ipod nano. It's WELL good. Pink, but WELL good. I am mildly jealous of it if I'm honest. I know she will love it, and I hope she looks after it. Thanks to Alan who I worked with a few nights back, I've been able to fill it with the complete shite that 12/13 year old's listen to these days.

I'm old.

Goodnight.

Reflective Nights

2009-09-19T03:27:00.003+01:00

Something odd happens when I'm on a night shift. I almost always feel lonely. I think it's because more often than not, I have time to reflect, and that leads on to melancholic thoughts of my happy childhood and that in turn leads on to those who shaped and formed the person I am now - but are no longer with us.

I've just spent the last thirty minutes on Google Earth finding all the places that were special to me as a child. My nans' houses in Bootle and Huyton. The flat I used to live in with Mum and Dad in Bootle, and a park I was taken to by Mum as a child.

Looking at all these images made me feel really detached. Is that the right word? I'm not sure. Let me try again. I felt homesick. Which is odd because it's been 30 years since I lived in Bootle and even then I was only there for the first 5 years of my life. I think rather than homesick for Bootle, I miss the people that living there represents to me. Mum and Dad, obviously, but both of my nan's too. I looked at Dad's mum's house and remembered playing in the garden there. My first taste of Lilt was at that house, too. Dad's sister Rita (deceased) gave it to me.

I looked at the images of Mum's Mum's house in Huyton and I could smell the roast dinner. She had the smallest kitchen, but was perfectly adept at catering for 15 people without breaking into a sweat.

Bloody nights.

And now, I am missing my wife and children loads, too. Deb and Luke are coming home from two nights at her mums tomorrow and I can't wait to see them. My other children, I will see on Friday. I spoke to Rob and Charlotte this evening online, and they both told me they really missed me. I filled up. If only they knew that however much they miss me, I miss them so much more. I told Charlotte that we'd spend the weekend hugging each other. She was happy with that.

Abbey won't be joining us this weekend as it's her thirteenth birthday and her mum is taking her out shopping. I have arranged to take her out for tea on Friday when I go to Wales to collect the other 3. I'm looking forward to that.

I'd best go and do some work. Loads of stuff has failed whilst I've been writing this.

Easy now.....

Hosepipe Ban

2009-09-13T08:46:00.002+01:00

So yesterday was a glorious day. Maybe glorious is a bit OTT. It was nice. It was sunny and it didn't rain. There will no doubt be a hosepipe ban brought in within the week if this carries on.

We were supposed to be going to Derby to visit Lisa & James, but they all came down with some sort of illness and after a quick chat with my wife, it was decided it'd be best not to go. Luke is still getting over his cold that he had last week, and Deb's not long since started receiving a needle from me every morning to down-regulate herself in preparation for IVF treatment. So - we had a free Saturday.

We decided to take a walk into Wigan to collect some new glasses for Deb. We walked up the canal to Wigan Pier, then up Wallgate into town. It really was lovely. Luke had a smashing time seeing all the barges going through the locks.

As we walked past the train stations, a gentleman was flung out of a pub across the road from us. Another gentleman followed and they proceeded to assault each other in the street. Much is made of binge drinking (i almost typed minge then. that's a whole other topic), and it's association with youth, but this kind of fall-out has been happening for as long as alcohol has been around. The people around us reacted in a strange way. Everyone was tutting and voicing their disgust, but they almost all stood still and gawped. We hastily moved on, not wanting Luke to see that sort of thing. That aside, it was a nice trip into town.

On the way home, we discussed food, and I rang our local Chinese and placed an order. Deb took Luke home and I went to Peters. Strange name for a Chinese, but I don't care what it's called. It's boss.

Got home, watched x-factor, drank no beer, watched an Episode of Life On Mars on Virgin on-demand, and went to bed.

I really do wish Luke would re-gain an understanding of night-time and what is expected of him. Waking twice just isn't cricket.

Today we're off to Bollington to visit Emma & Andy for lunch. Everton kick off at Fulham at 4:15 and is on Sky Sports 1. Here's hoping I'm not too far away from an appropriately connected television at that time. Personally, I'd be happy to be home then. I could finish off my ironing mountain and watch the match. We'll see.

The flawless blue sky that was visible about 30 minutes ago is now a grey cloudy mess. I hate how unpredictable British weather is.

BFN.

Turbulence

2009-09-02T15:13:00.003+01:00

The weather is well iffy today.

Some of my friends from work have gone for a walk up Mount Snowdon for charity. Good on them. I wanted to go, but we couldn't spare the staff at work. No really - I did!

We found out yesterday that our next "go" of IVF is going to take place much quicker than we'd anticipated. Within the next month. My lovely wife rang me at work to tell me and I was, erm - surprised to say the least! I hope my wife didn't interpret my surprise in any other way. I was just genuinely surprised it's going to be so quick.

My head is going through some strange feelings over the last few days. I was thinking at lunchtime today how I could describe my feelings to you, and all I could think of is that I feel like I don't belong. Maybe I've spent too much time off work and the fact that I am now separated from my family for 13 hours a day isn't helping me. I just feel like I want to be with my people all of the time. I feel like I want us to all have a big hug and just hold it forever. Weird huh?

I've just had to put a fan on me, here in work as I'm SO friggin hot. I seriously do have some sort of genetic disorder, or malfunction that prevents my body from regulating it's temperature correctly. If I was a central heating system, I'd be replacing my thermostat. I'm not a central heating system, though, so I'll just melt instead.

I think my beautiful wife and child (and me) need a holiday. We have some time booked off work in a few months and I want us to go ahead and book something. Even if it's in this country that's fine. Let's get something booked, somewhere nice, and we then have some sort of R'n'R to look forward to as a family. Personally, I'm thinking London, but... I don't know. I just think it'd be nice to do "stuff" in the capital. Visit Tusauds, go on the eye - visit Liz's house. Usual touristy stuff.

My daughter Abigail and son, Robert, started their new high school in welsh Wales today. Charlotte and Matthew have started their new Primary school, too. I do hope they all got on ok. I will speak to them later today to find out.

Not had the most eventful day in work (so far). Just been on the phone to a Vauxhall dealer about getting cruise control fitted to our Zafira. They're calling me back.

Did you know the letter "n" ends all Japanese words other than those ending in a vowel?

I want to try and prepare a really nice meal for my wife tomorrow night. She is working tomorrow day whilst Luke is at his childminders. During that time I shall shop for ingredients and do some prep during the morning. Sleep during the afternoon, fetch Luke - then cook! If the rain holds off, might mow the lawn tomorrow morning, too. I can hardly cope with the excitement.

Vauxhall just called back. £140 for cruise control fitted. Including a new stalk.

Tempting...... but I need DAB and iPod first. Damn I need about £400.

Twenty Two

2009-08-31T22:47:00.003+01:00

Just a quick one, this.

Twenty Two years ago today my mum died.

I still miss you, mum. It's easier now than it used to be, but it's never easy.

There are people there with you now, like you - who should still be here. That is the part that people find the most difficult to deal with. You were 40 years old when you were taken, and I'm 35 now. It's just wrong.

You should be here to see Luke, Matthew, Charlotte, Robert and Abigail grow up.

Rollercoaster

2009-08-30T08:20:00.003+01:00

Howdy

I took my children back to Wales yesterday. I cried on the way home. I had to stop the car near Runcorn and compose myself. I wanted to get it all out before getting home. I feel like such a "fake" if I cry in front of my wife. It's a new feeling, though. In the past, I've been ok with it. It used to happen quite often to be honest.

I've been thinking about why I felt like I did yesterday and I can only put it down to this. My wife is still grieving for the loss of her dad. It still regularly upsets her, and that is a completely natural and normal way to react after such a devastating event. So me, getting upset because I'm not going to see my children for a few weeks seems completely lame. Sorry.

It's weird only seeing the children for short spells of time. I feel that I am having to adapt the way I parent them because I only see them for a short time. I see myself as a fairly strict parent, and that in no small part is thanks to my own dad. He was always strict with us, and that has certainly rubbed off on me. Apologies, children. So, anyway - adapt. I am aware that I seem to be on their cases about stuff almost all the time. It fills me with fear to think that they wouldn't want to come and stay with us because I'm always moaning at them. So I give in sometimes. I'm not sure if she's aware of it, but my amazing wife helps me out sometimes. She's said before about playing good cop / bad cop (me being the baddy), and quite often she'll rescue a situation to everyone's satisfaction. I do love her. And them.

Poor Luke has been asking where Matthew is this morning. Every morning for the last week when Luke has woke, Matthew has been sat downstairs waiting for him. Not watching TV, not playing on any games console. Just sat, waiting.

They are inseparable whenever my children stay with us. I got a sneaky pic of Matthew teaching Luke how to play something on the xbox. There I go again. Dammit. I think the distance plays a part now. Ok, happy things now.

Our friends from Paul, Jo and their four children came to visit from Blackpool Friday evening. We try to meet up a couple of times a year and all get along famously. Alcohol is always involved in varying degrees and this meet was no exception. We played Trivial Pursuit on the Wii and it was ace. We played a boys v girls game and we got beat twice. No justice. As the night went on, I decided it would be a good idea to try my new blueberry vodka with Paul. It was a bad idea. Very. I was given several lessons in how to down shots of it. The result? After they'd left, I was ill before going asleep. Oh deary me.

It's a (so far) Sunny day. It's the bank holiday weekend and we have not a single thing planned for today. I love days like this. We might end up staying here and having fun, or we could end up in a castle somewhere, or at a fairground, or maybe a zoo. Who knows?!

Righty-ho. I think I'll go and treat my son and I to bacon on toast for breakfast! Sorry Deb. You snooze, you lose!

Until next time, don't forget - the oven is hot hot hot!

Big And Heavy

2009-08-21T16:24:00.007+01:00

Ay up.

So - I did it, I did it!

I was so brave. I did put my gown on the wrong way round, but that wasn't my fault. I was directed to do so by a nurse. When I was lay on the trolly thingy, I didn't even flinch as the needle thing went into my hand.

When I woke, my lovely wife was there. I was aware how how amazing I felt. I likened it to towards the end of the night, when you've been on the ale. You are aware you are drunk, but you think you're having really sensible con

versations with people. After a few minutes of babble, I asked Deb how long I'd been there and she told me I'd been spouting shite for best part of an hour!! Doesn't time fly when you're heavily sedated?!

The nads were plenty sore, so I was given some tablets to take. After I'd had a pee, I was allowed to be taken home.

I don't know why, but I was in a foul mood all evening. I don't know if it was as a result of the anaesthetic, but whatever it was, I want to apologise to my people for being such a grump.

I woke up with an erection this morning, which pleased me. I was concerned it might be broken, but all appears to be functioning correctly thus far.

It is now about 24 hours after I left hospital and I feel miles better. My lovely wife is at work (but finishing any minute now) and I can't wait for her to come home. My mother in law stayed over last night after looking after Luke yesterday, to give me a hand with him this morning. To be honest, I was a bit iffy early doors, but by mid morning I was feeling ok. She left early afternoon at which point, Luke had a kip. I rested my head for a few minutes, but not ages.

Honest.

I'm having troubles with the PC that I use as a server at home. It keeps blue screening. As usual, the windows diagnostics give very little away. I have just downloaded the latest version of ubuntu. Once my wife's new laptop arrives, the server shall be flattened and Ubuntu'd. It's come along leaps and bounds in the few years I've been aware of it and it now happily shares printers and allows prints to be sent to it on a windows network. I'm looking forward to the challenge of setting it up, to be honest.

I am picking my children up from Welsh Wales tomorrow and am really looking forward to it! Can't wait to spend the week with them.

If SkyCard ever get round to giving us the money back that we're owed for the Land of Leather deposit that we paid, I've had authorisation granted to buy a new radio for the car. I'm wanting something that will allow me to plug my ipod in, and possibly something with DAB, too. Hmmmm. More browsing to be done me thinks.

I bought a lead today. A lead to allow me to transfer video from my Sony Handycam to my vista laptop. Sony appear to have dropped any sign of USB support for this transfer method, in favour of firewire. I've never had a firewire cable, so needed to buy one. eBay was the place I looked. I could have bought one from the UK for £5.99 delivered. Not a bad price. However, THE same lead, posted from Hong Kong was available for £1.87 delivered. The lad has excellent feedback, too. No choice to be made really, is there?

Nina and her nurons are on TV now. She is complete filth. Look at her, with her happy smiley Scottish face.

Right, I'm off to cook some chicken and use my new-fangled chip baking thingy! I shall report back when my head has stuff to say - until then, be young - be foolish, but most of all - be happy.

It's All Bollocks

2009-08-19T23:46:00.002+01:00

I am nervous. Very very nervous.

Tomorrow I am having a surgical procedure, which necessitates me having a general anaesthetic.

This evening I've been a shit at home. I've been bad tempered and snappy. I had to shave my testicles and I cut myself. Yep, you read it right - I had to shave my testicles. I've had to do this before for previous surgical procedures on the dangly fella's and it doesn't get any easier.

I am ridiculously worried about it, so much so that I'm pretty sure something is going to go wrong.

If I don't wake up, I want my wife to know just how much I love her. She means everything to me. She keeps me stable, keeps me happy. She is my best friend and I love her completely. I can't even contemplate having to say goodbye to my children. I simply can't do it.

I am over-reacting to this soooo much, it's silly.

Fingers crossed, I'll be back tomorrow to report on how it went.

Apologies for how small this post has been. I'll ensure tomorrows is bigger. And good. Soz.

You Get What You Deserve

2009-08-11T22:11:00.000+01:00

OK then here we go again

Welcome to another addition to this rambling that i call a blog.

Today, I write about the almost constant feelings of insecurity that I have. They never really go away. They subside sometimes, but rarely are they never there.

I cannot explain the feelings. I have a beautiful wife, and fantastic children. I know I am loved, it's not about that. I suppose it's the fact that I have all those beautiful people in my life, and I constantly feel like I don't deserve them. I'll leave that there because having just read it back, I'm not making a great deal of sense.

I'm running a fantasy league in work again this year. Done it for the last 3 years, but this year, I'm donating 25% of monies taken to The Christie Hospital in Manchester. I've got 18 people in this year, each paying £10 to play, so Christies will have another £45 in their coffers by the end of this month. It's not much, but even if it buys a few boxes of tissues, it all helps.

I'm in work with four people this evening. But I'm on my own right now. 2 have gone out to the pub and 1 has gone to asda. Not much going on at this time of night, so it's not a problem at all.

I got really stressed shortly before coming in to work this evening. I shouted at Luke for messing round. In fact, he's only two years old, so - that's what they do. If you ever read this Luke, I'm sorry son. I also apologised to my wife for being snappy. We've spent precious little time together over the last four nights that I've been working, and I feel so bad for being snappy instead of enjoying the hour or so that we get to spend together. Sorry.

I'm feeling quite low tonight (like you couldn't tell?). I have two days off now, and my lovely wife is straight into work when I'm off. I hate hate hate it when it pans out like this. Really pisses me off. So I have two days home alone again because Luke will be with his childminder for both days that I'm off. We have lots of ironing so that will keep me busy. I think washing clothes, drying clothes and ironing clothes is what my days off will mostly consist off. Boring, but necessary chores all the same.

Working here, you sometimes see funny things. There has just been a drunken couple having an argument outside. It's the second one of those I've seen today actually. I love watching drunk people argue. In fact, I just love watching drunk people. They are a very amusing bunch. You can see their desire to walk in a certain direction, or say a particular word, but 9 times out of 10, they just can't manage it.

I'm going to go now, and try and speak to my wife.

Easy.

Home Alone

2009-08-06T11:00:00.002+01:00

Hello reader

Today and yesterday, I have been home alone. It's been weird, to be honest. Making drinks for one, not having to ask about putting music on. It's been lonely.

My quizmastering went really well on Friday. As did the lack of alcohol. I drank 3 pints of lemonade through the night, and not a sip of anything else. It's really odd being (probably) the only sober one in a room full of people who are leaning towards the drunk side of things. Especially towards the end of the night, you see things that would normally pass you by in a drunken haze. I enjoyed it. I have to confess, I loved being on the stage, and holding the attention of all those people during the quiz. The interactivity of it all brought those mobile DJ days flooding back. I wanted to take control of the music and make the night mine.

Luke is with Helen again today. Yesterday was the first day he didn't cry when I dropped him off. His bottom lip went a bit, but we didn't have any tears, which was brilliant! When I picked him up, Helen told me that they'd been out to play for national play day but Luke didn't much fancy playing on the bouncy castle's and other outdoor equipment. No, they had a DJ and he wanted to dance, so dance he did! She also remarked on how well he was able sing along to Lady Gaga's Paparazzi in the car on the way to the event. It really is bizarre watching him sing along to it. I tried to video him doing it last night but he won't perform for the camera. Luke also did a poo on a potty at Helen's house. Quite by accident apparently, but he did it all the same!

Yesterday also saw my lovely wife receive a letter from her workplace advising that she has been successful in applying to keep her job. God bless RBS for providing her with a job, and congratulations wife for keeping it! We celebrated yesterdays good news by eating crispy duck with hoi sin sauce, pancakes, and shredded spring onions and cucumber. Oh, and a bottle of Champagne! Classy, we are.

I spent ages "finding" the playroom yesterday. Sorted through all the children's accumulated crap, and "filed" it. Luke now has a piece of the playroom for his things, and I'm in the process of moving the rest of this things from the lounge into the playroom today. It's ridiculous that something like that genuinely is a two day job. I am really looking forward to it being done, though. I like what I've done so far, so another load of work on it today is sure to make an even bigger difference.

The Virgins have now added ESPN in HD for free to our TV viewing package, which means we'll be able to watch some football games in HD. I am looking forward to that. Also, the Sky people STILL haven't disconnected us, which means that we still have access to the Sky Sports channels on there, even though we no longer pay for them! (quite literally) Back of the net!!

I am thinking about choosing music to play whilst I work today, and I can't decide about the initial album. I am torn between the Dire Straights classic, Brothers In Arms, or the considerably more upbeat Madonna album, Confessions On A Dancefloor. My neighbours are going out soon by the looks of things, so I think I'll hang fire for a bit, then unleash Madonna.

I found out the day before last that my sister in law is pregnant. It's still really early days yet, but fingers crossed it holds on.

Cup of tea for me, then to tackle the lounge!

T'ra !

The Quizmaster

2009-07-27T06:22:00.004+01:00

"The Quizmaster"

So - the dust has settled after the shenanigans at Derby. The missing suit Jacket has made it's way back to Derby, and I no longer walk like John Wayne after riding the bronco.

It has come to light that my lovely wife kissed someone at the party. Normally, that would be cause for concern, but - it was a girl, so that makes it ace.

Before coming into work tonight, I assisted the moving of a fish tank from the building that my lovely wife works in. The tank is approx 6ft x2ft x18inches, and weighs in the region of a tonne. Well, not quite, but sweet Jesus there was some weight in it. It took 6 men (I included myself in that category) to lift it, and each of us was struggling as we did. It took about 3 hours to move it 5 mins down the road. It only just fitted in the back of our Zafira, and I had to drive veeery slowly.

I have decided that I am going to make the investment in a DAB radio with iPod control for the Zafira this week. I might even give the car a wash and a valet and all that, so it feels shiny and new. I love it to bits when it's shiny and new, so that combined with digital radio and iPod-ness is sure to make me happy.

Luke is like a sponge at the moment. He hears every word that is said, and more often than not repeats it. It amuses us both very much when he does this, and our happiness is reflected in him dancing and spinning with happiness. I love him so much.

My other 4 children stayed with us for a week last Saturday to Saturday. I can honestly say it didn't seem like they were with us for a week. There have been times when the week has dragged and dragged, but this didn't seem to. They have moved to Liverpool-on-sea now, and as I drove away from dropping them off in Skem on Saturday, I had to stop for a minute to compose myself before coming home. The thought of them being so far away is horrible. I kept telling each of them to be careful, and to look out for the others. I do so hope that they will be safe there.

The CSA are a bunch of inept cretins. They rang me with the right arse claiming that I hadn't paid them an amount of money (which I had done - by standing order). When I told them I'd paid it 2 weeks earlier, they asked me to prove it by faxing a bank statement to them. My lovely wife offered to do this from her work place. When I contacted them two days later, they claimed not to have received the fax (despite me having the receipt confirming that it had been received), and asked me to send it again. I refused and expressed my sincere displeasure at their inability to manage the money that they are responsible for. After putting me on hold for a few moments,
the money mysteriously turned up and I was offered the sincere and heartfelt apology "sorry about that".

My lovely wife and I are attending her final work's do (before it closes) on Friday night in Horwich. These events have become legendary and I've never yet attended one that I haven't enjoyed. This one is going to be different because I have volunteered to host the quiz. I am going to be "The Quizmaster". I am REALLY looking forward to doing it, and if I'm honest, I want to do the disco, too! The lack of disco equipment prevents me from doing that, though. Bugger. I shall dress all smart and that on the Friday night, so I'll look ace. Hopefully photo's to follow!

Oh yeah - my latest general annoyance is to do with driving. Why don't people indicate? It gets right on my moobs and It's dangerous. Grrrrr
Until our path's cross once more....

Listen Up Kids...

2009-07-17T03:40:00.006+01:00

Lesson One

Be Honest. Life does not reward someone who is deceitful. If something has gone wrong, confess. It doesn't always pay to try and cover it up and hide it.

The party we went to in Derby was quite fantastic. From the moment we arrived, I knew it was going to be special. My lovely wife looked at least 7 times more lovely than is usual, and I looked "alright". I did have to get help from several people in putting my clothing together, however.

My lovely wife assisted by securing the loan of a dinner suit from my brother in law, and she then went and bought me the dickie bow and dress shirt from M&S. Then when we arrived at Derby, the male host of the party helped me tie the dickie bow. I had spent about an hour studying
various help guides on youtube to assist me, but it was all to no avail.

So - here we are!

But then - then, the girls appeared. The girls with the bottomless bottles of champagne. Then they offered an assortment of amazing canapes. Then we were encouraged to visit the cocktail bar that had been set up in the house, and that - that is where things started getting a bit hazy.

I think I tried at least one of every cocktail on the menu, and I settled on one (who's name escapes me), which was particularly splendid. It is fair to say I drank it to excess. I have hazy memories of my lovely wife exposing her knickers, and me touching a lady's bottom (with
permission from her husband). Only the next day did the stories of my real escapades come out.

I am struggling to recall the majority of the 5 hour period from 11pm to approximately 4am. I was told that I had exposed myself. One of the other guests told the female party host that she had seen me walking about with the little fella hanging out. How classy is that? I am fairly confident that I can explain how it happened.

My lovely wife and I had befriended another couple, Dawn and Glen, and (somehow) the topic of underwear came about. Deb mentioned how I didn't have any on and someone said I don't believe you. So I dropped my trousers. Now then - I can only assume that I didn't zip myself back up properly, and that - is how the little fella came to be exposed.

I also managed to lose "my" dinner jacket, which later turned up at Glen's house, so at least it was located and is now on it's way back to Lisa and James'. So - yeah - an "entertaining" night!

I have just attempted to assassinate a wasp. Where I work we get a lorra lorra wazzies coming in at this time of year, and they are little frickers. They want nothing more than to sting us for no reason whatsoever. I saw one flying nearby so took a rather good swipe at it with an A5 notepad. However, I flicked it onto Alan's food. I was just trying to protect us from the evil that is the Skem wasp.

So yeah - having secrets or being dishonest is rubbish. It just makes you well stressed because you're constantly having to cover your tracks and remembering who you've told (because you will - you will confide in people just to ease the burden of guilt), and remembering who you haven't told.

Just don't do it, kids. Life life - love it, and be nice.

I want an ice cream.

Parrots, Parks, and Penises

2009-07-10T22:03:00.005+01:00

Well what a day. It's been a busy old one, that's for sure.

This morning, I dropped my eldest daughter off at high school and found myself with 10 minutes to spare before my other 3 children were due at primary school. So, I took them on a trip to see where I used to live when I was their age.

As I pulled in to the cul-de-sac, a bloke who lives over the road from where I used to live appeared, so I had a brief chat with him. I converse with him on Twitter, but it was good to see him and his wife in person after a great many years! He had a box of baby parrots too, that was nice.

Took the children to school only to find that their large playground is being transformed with all sorts of brilliant things. A table tennis table has been planted, as well as a huge wooden adventure course thing and men with proper digging stuff are still digging and planting new and exciting things. Can't wait to see it when it's finished.

Went to Argos and bought a new car seat for Luke, and a charging station thingy for me Wii. I love it. It lights up blue.

My lovely wife woke up, and we went up to Bolton and bought a new leather suite! Almost £1900 lighter, we made our way home and baked bread. I say baked, they were part baked, and we finished them off. Still, I'm happy to take the glory for "baking".

My eldest son was taking place in a chess tournament today at a different school to his own. I was aware of this, but was assured he'd be back at school for the normal finish time. It just didn't happen. Typical as I had my lovely wife in the car, and she had an appointment in Wigan which meant there was little time for hanging round. I went into his own school to make sure he wasn't there and bumped into the girl who was my best friend at high school. Totally unexpected and it was a really nice surprise! I went to the other school and found my son who won his league in the tournament! Well done Rob!!

Got my lovely wife to her appointment on time, and went to Mesnes Park with all 5 children. I've never been there before and I'm gutted that I haven't. It's really nice. I bumped into my cousin whom I haven't seen for over a year and that was a nice surprise. The park is such a lovely, well kept open space, with a smashing childrens play area and lots of happy people using it! I shall return, of that I'm sure.

Bumping into Martin (my cousin) further enforced feelings that I'd had earlier in the day when I spoke to the man with the parrots. I really really struggle to make conversation with people. I think this is something that's happened over the last few years. I don't remember it being this bad, but my word it is bad. It's painful. If you ever see me - smile at me, acknowledge me, but please don't expect a conversation. I'm not being rude, I just don't know what to say.

Skipping back 24 hours, we watched a documentary on Virgin1 called "The Naked Office". It was properly ace. If ever it's repeated I can heartily recommend it. Well done all them people who were brave enough to strip completely naked in their office and spend a day that way.

I'd like to think I could do that. I actually think I could. It's like a nudist beach thing for me - if everyone else is doing it, I'd have no problem.

Right - I'm hungry, time for food!!

Can't wait for tomorrow night in Derby. Getting excited now.

See y'z.

A Strange One

2009-07-09T04:32:00.004+01:00

I'm not really sure how to start this, or what to put in it.

I am full of mixed feelings at the moment, and I want to write about them.

Monday saw the funeral of my father-in-law. It was a roller-coaster day of emotions, as is to be expected. There were many tributes paid to him throughout the day, none more so than that of his friend, Alan. Very funny and tremendously touching too.

Luke spent another day with his Childminder, Helen yesterday. He was, to say the least, very distressed at the mere thought of me leaving him. He's been varying degree's of fine every other time I've taken him, but yesterday as soon as I parked the car outside her house, he broke down. Poor little man. Helen gave me a tip about not following him into the house, but instead to just say goodbye at the door. I shall adopt that in the future. My lovely wife said she might be taking him this morning. It'll be her first time of dropping him off and I just hope that she is ok with it. I found it very difficult walking away from him crying this morning. It has to be done, though.

It doesn't feel like I've spent much time at home at all over the last 2 weeks. My garden is like a jungle and needs a good few hours spent on it, just to bring it close to being under control. Bloody thing. Surely there must be a refugee somewhere who'd be willing to do it for a loaf, or a piece of haddock?

The new North West England MEP, Nick Griffin has done what he does best, and outraged just about everyone - again. In a BBC interview, he has said that the EU should sink boats carrying illegal immigrants to prevent them entering Europe. He does make me laugh. He seems to take a fledgling idea, then blows it up to be something completely ridiculous. Brilliant.

My lovely wife and I (sans Luke) are off to Derby this coming Saturday night to celebrate the 5th wedding anniversary of some good friends of ours. It's a red carpet, dinner jacket-y kind of affair! I'm very very excited about it. My wife has the most amazing dress to wear, and I know she is going to look double lovely with it on. I think it will do her good to let her hair down a little. I hope she enjoys it as much as I hope to.

I'm becoming more confident doing blog posts in work now.

I've started following quite a few blogs using Google Reader of late. I like Reader a lot. It's good and useful and all Google-y. I like Google. I want to use Google Wave, and I want a pc running the new Google Chrome OS.

I'm tired now, so I shall sign off.

So long as I'm saved - we shall speak again sometime.

Why?

2009-06-27T22:12:00.002+01:00

Well, what a week.

The last 7 days have been some of the most difficult and challenging I should ever wish to endure. My truly excellent father-in-law passed away on Wednesday, after losing his battle against the evil that is cancer.

7 days ago (almost to the minute), my lovely wife and I were sat at some really good friends of ours in Wigan, enjoying a pizza and a beer. My wife then received a phone call from her mum saying that she had been unable to wake her dad and an ambulance was on it's way. We'd both had a drink (which was an entirely reasonable thing to do as we'd walked the 15 minute journey to our friends), so neither could drive the 37 miles to my parents-in-law.

My wife's friend, whom we were visiting, hadn't drank, so very kindly offered to drive my wife there. I rode shotgun so I could navigate her back to Wigan. I followed the next morning.

My wife, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law spent every minute between that Saturday night, and late Wednesday morning when he sadly passed away, with him.

He was a very special man. Not only for being responsible for two beautiful daughters, but because of his integrity, honesty and sense of fair play. People like him don't come along every day, and I am proud to not only have known him, but to be known as his son-in-law.

As well as that devastating news, something else occurred this week that would have made Keith very proud. My son spent his first couple of days with his childminder. My lovely wife and I thought it was very important to make sure that Luke attended as arranged, and that his routine should be disrupted as little as possible.

Luke did his grandad proud. On his first day (in a cruel twist of fate, it was Wednesday), Helen (his childminder) opened the door, and in he trotted without even looking back. I bid my farewells, and left him there for 4 1/2 hours. He was absolutely fine when I picked him up. Day two, I thought, would be more of a challenge. But no, in he trotted without looking back again. Excellent! Well done, son!

My mother in law has received dozens and dozens of cards. I think I'm right in saying that it is easily over 100. Every day that comes, brings another knock on the door by the postman, with a handful of cards. He's given up posting them because it is taking too long!

The funeral is one week on Monday and that is going to be a very emotional day for all involved. I hope and pray that his wife, daughters and all of us who cared about him have the strength to let the day pass in a way that would make him happy.

You asked me to look after Debbie and Luke, and Keith, rest assured mate, I will. Take it easy up there, make sure you get yourself into the quiz leagues. Oh, I hope you enjoy meeting my mum and sharing a pint and a chat with my Dad.

I'll miss you.

The One About The Tramp And The Bush

2009-06-17T02:24:00.003+01:00

Hello reader

Life is a funny thing. It kicks you - you find your feet, and set on your way again, and it kicks you harder. Why does it do it? Nobody knows, but sure as day follows night - it does it. It's cruel. Cruel and unfair, and that is the side of life that, fortunately, hopefully, we don't see too often.

This is another blog from work, so I'm scared.

Last night in work, I noticed a tramp loitering outside our building. Before I go any further, if tramp isn't the "pc" term for... a tramp, then I apologise to all tramps for any offence caused. Although I don't suppose many tramps have internet access. Anyway, I saw this bloke loitering, then he went behind a bush and fetched a bottle of cider that he had, apparently, stashed there, and begin to neck it. This was at about 4:30 am. I then noticed about 6 empty bottles of the same stuff he'd just had (white lightening no less) that he'd thrown in our manicured bush! (I never thought I'd ever refer to a manicured bush and not mean a well maintained pubic area). The girl who was in on nights said that she'd seen him on her way into work at about 2:45. Sad? Funny? (Marcus Bentley voice coming on)... You decide!

I'm finding it difficult to blog at the moment. I feel raw, you see.

I spent ages working on my website earlier on. I had decided that I wanted 4 feeds from the motorway cctv camera's on the front page. So, I designed the pages, inserted the image links and viewed the page. Bliss! It worked a treat. Then, one by one, they went off. I was greeted by 4 images telling me I was not allowed to view them. Bastards. Why on earth not? Ridiculous.

I spent more ages working on my half yearly appraisal earlier. It's on Monday. I've got a swanky folder and printed loads of stuff off to fool my boss into thinking I'm good. It looks impressive, what I've done. I hope my ploy works, and I receive a decent rise next year.

Oh, and I found out this evening that I'm going to start getting paid monthly. That is wubbish. Getting paid 4 weekly means 13 pay days every year. The monetary difference between 4 weeks pay and a months isn't going to be much at all, so it's going to seem like I'm missing a whole 4 weeks worth of pay. Boooo employer, booo.

On the plus side, I also found out (can you tell i've spent a fair bit of time on the works intranet site?) that I am entitled to "up to 3 occasions of 5 days paid leave" for IVF treatment. Cheers for that.

I'm getting Virgin's V+HD installed at the end of this month. I am excited at the thought of it. I need to buy a new 5m HDMI lead before the time, though.

Struggling to think and stay awake now, so I'll say goodbye and apologise for how brief this is.

Yours drinking Dr Pepper.
What's the worst that could happen?
-

To BNP Or Not To BNP

2009-06-08T09:25:00.005+01:00

a fair old bit has happened since I last spoke at you.

I've been for an appointment at a private hospital in Manchester to discuss the potential of our trying another cycle of IVF. Following that, we buggered off to Scarborough for a 4 night break. Came home and watched England beat the Kazak's 4-0, and now the BNP have won two European Parliamentary Seats.

The visit to the hospital was interesting. I had to produce a "sample" (wank in a pot, basically). I was escorted into a small room, which had several prints on the wall of things like the Eiffel tower, the twin towers, and other such phallic imagery. To help me along, they had a plentiful supply of soft porn. The stuff of 15 year old boys dreams. Readers Wives, Escort and Fiesta. How these publications make money in these modern internet days is beyond me, but still. Having done this before, I was prepared this time. I downloaded and converted loads of porn for viewing on my iPod. Job done. I had 3 sperms in my sample. None of them moving, but hey - god bless them for trying.

We then drove, for what seems like an eternity, over to Scarborough. We arrived at the caravan site where we were staying only to find that the security people had no keys for us. After waiting for 40 minutes, someone with a clue turned up and found the keys. Hmph. The holiday itself was really nice, though. We stayed at Cayton Bay, which is equidistant between Scarborough and Filey. We visited both places and had a lovely time. Luke tripped over my feet and banged his head on the ground. His head is grazed, and my lovely wife is telling everyone I assaulted him.

We were going to visit Flamingo Land on the last day of the holiday before driving home that evening. Sky News told us the night before that the weather on the Friday was going to be shocking, so we decided to drive home early Friday instead. The weather turned out to be lovely. Bloody Sky News weather. Uber-fit presenters, but rubbish forecasting.

On Saturday we had friends round to watch England vs Kazakhstan. It was a lovely afternoon / evening that we spent together. Their two daughters seemed to poo almost constantly, so that was amusing (and slightly smelly). Oh yeah - I rang Morrisons to complain about a pizza we'd bought. It had ingredients missing off it. I've never rung one of those phone lines before now but I was enraged that not only did it have ingredients missing, but those that were present were sparse. I am waiting on a call back from William Morrison plc today.

Sunday saw me officially become middle aged. I've been middle aged in my head for as long as I can remember, but given I am now 35, and I have no optimism that I will live beyond 70, I am middle aged. Initially, I greeted middle age with despair, but I'm kind of getting used to it now. My slightly large middle can be put down to "middle aged spread". Brilliant! I am looking forward to other "middle aged" things happening soon. We travelled down to my sister-in-laws on Sunday afternoon where we were all treated to a birthday curry from The Viceroy. Very very nice it was too!!

Sunday evening saw the count of the European Elections. There has been a furore (one of my top 5 words) over the BNP securing two seats. I've had a mooch round the news websites this morning, and I have learned that just over 14 Million people voted, and the BNP secured just over 900,000 votes. The response to this on Twitter has been interesting. Just about everyone (except some Aussie bloke who's pissed off with the rioting Indians in Melbourne) is of the opinion that it's a sad day in politics, all the Brit's have become racists and how could this happen in our green a pleasant land.

I believe that rather than being upset with the BNP, who have, to be fair to them, performed very well given their minority support, we need to question why over 900,000 voted for them. The BNP has the image of being a party of racists, but what they did in the run up to this election was campaigned in towns and villages who might be, say, more tolerant of them, at grass roots level. Problems with wheely bins, and litter, and the state of parks and gardens, etc. They promised to tackle simple things like that. That sort of campaigning won people over. When it came to the time to visit the poll booths, all the media reports of MP's expenses are still at the forefront of people's minds, and they trust nobody. And then they remember the "nice" man from the BNP who promised to sort out the wheely bin collections, and they place an X in a box.

I doubt very much indeed that the BNP will hold on to either of their two European seats in the next election. They should act as a huge kick up the arse of the mainstream parties, conveying the message that the UK populus is running out of political options.

I'm off for a haircut.

Horrible Man

2009-05-30T21:30:00.004+01:00

So - I didn't get the job. No great surprises there, then? I was told that I hadn't passed the interview, but the interviewing manager believed that I was capable of doing the job. What is that all about then?

Today was the FA Cup final. Chelsea vs Everton. We lost 2-1. Ace.

My children are staying with us tonight, and i've been really short-tempered with my youngest of the four. He just doesn't listen. He's 8. I tell him not to do something, and 10 minutes later, he's doing it. So I end up continually telling him off. I am a horrible man. However, I have apologised to him for telling him off all the time, but explained why I was doing it. He just seems to forget what he's been told not to do. Anyway......

Cor - what a scorcher. Today has been roastio. Absolutely lovely day. After the football, we had a barbeque and play in the garden for a few hours, and it was boss! Warmer weather still is forecast for tomorrow so it might be paddling pool weather! I might add a pic of today if I can upload them and do all the fannying round that is necessary. Oh fanny - that reminds me.....

I write obscene words on our fridge in magnetic letters. Who doesn't. I forgot to remove the words "Vagina" and "Pussy". I do hope the children didn't see it. Bugger.

My shoulder is sore and needs rubbing. Wife.......

We have 2 big things happening on Monday. We are going on our hols for a few days. Only over to Scarborough, but nevertheless - it is exciting. And - we have an appointment at the IVF clinic in Manchester. I have to "knock one out". I need to load my iPod with porn before I go as their copies of Razzle and Fiesta just don't cut it.

We are ditching Sky TV. And TalkTalk. And O2 Broadband. Instead, we are moving onto the fibre optic Virgin Media network. We will save approximately £2 per month but - Quidco are very kindly giving us £120 for moving! Result.

Sorted out house insurance during the week, too. Managed to get over £100 off the cost of that by using CIS (part of the company that I work for). Another result.

Myself, and my lovely wife are off work for 2 weeks now. That feels soooooo good.

I have just made myself a small JD and coke, but I am really thirsty and want some lemonade instead. Be gone, Jack, you lovely lovely tasting fella.

Farewell, my friends. Be assured I will return.........

All Over Now

2009-05-18T23:13:00.002+01:00

Hiya !

Not blogged for a while for the usual reason of "not being inspired to" (darling). The usual things that continually irritate me in life have been ever present. Things such as pensioners driving at 20 in 30 zones (including one doing 15. They were given a pip of the horn). I've also had to deal with some complete cretins in work. That's harsh, they are stuck in their ways and are not for budging.

Anyway - today has been a big day for me and my family. I had a job interview. I attended the CIS building at Miller Street and had an interview for the job of a mainframe Database Analyst. I was as nervous as I was a few weeks ago when I delivered a presentation to two teams. I wasn't able to eat this morning (which really isn't like me). I got there and babbled and bumbled my way through the interview. My only saving grace was that I have known the recruiting manager who interviewed me for over 10 years, so I'm hoping he knows what I am like. Almost to the point of discarding the whole interview and basing his decision on what he knows of me.

The relief I felt as I left the building was immense. My lovely wife had dropped me off there whilst she went eBay collecting and then she did a bit of shopping in Salford before scooping me up and feeding me KFC. I do love her.

If this job comes off, It will mean no more nights - no more weekends, and I'll slot back into Monday to Friday 8:30 - 4:30 work. The last time I worked those hours was 1994.

I've been feeling properly strange the last few days. It started in earnest on Friday night when I was on my last shift of the pattern. I felt dreadful from the off, and went for a sleep after a few hours. I wasn't feeling sick as such, just dizzy and light headed (no funny comments please!). Since then, I'm having intermittent bouts of muscular pain around my rib cage and shoulders. Ah what do you care, you're not my GP. Are you?

You know what else annoys me? When (usually) older people use the phrases "Web Wizzard" or "Computer Whiz".

I really fancy a curry with dippy things and icy cold beer.

I'm ooooover-tired and off to bed.

See y'z

(oh yeah - this blog title is the title of a Saw Doctors track. Got a ticket to go see them with a loads of blokes from work in December! Well happy with that!!)

Two Down, A Lifetime To Go

2009-05-10T21:23:00.002+01:00

Wowser wowser, Luke is Two!!

We held a party for him in our house yesterday. With the exception of two or three people, every single person in the whole world that he knows was there. At some times, it literally felt like every single person in the whole world was there!!

It was, a very early start and it was stressful at times, but on the whole, it was a great day. It was lovely to see him being so relaxed and chilled out with the 30+ people who were milling round in our house (you can always rely on the British weather to let you down). He was wandering round, speaking with his people, and generally being fussed over, which he loved! He received so many cards and presents, it was fabulous.

His birthday cake was an amazing creation by Lisa of Bob The Builder's head! She took a little too much pleasure cutting through his head when the time came to cut the cake up!

I didn't take enough photo's on the day, but I shoot a bit of video that I am going to try and edit over the next few days, and stick it on YouTube for the rest of eternity (or until the YouTube police decide that I have infringed some obscure copyright law). Grrrr. I uploaded an excellent (in my opinion) video of Luke falling asleep in his high chair last year. I spent ages editing the video, etc. and I put a backing track of The Beatles, I'm Only Sleeping on it. Checked yesterday, and it's gone. No email, nothing - just gone. Frickers.

For the first time ever this evening, my iPod ran out of charge. I was immersed in Episode 3, Season 3 of 24, and off it went. I think I have used it for playing music for over 15 hours in work, and probably 2 and a bit episodes of 24, so I can't complain.

I have been given verbal permission to attend my school re-union, which is this coming weekend. I am pleased about this, as I'd really like to spend a few hours just catching up with folk I remember from school. Luke's godmother, Joanne, who was at his birthday has said that she wouldn't mind attending, too. We could be good excuses for each other to not spend too much time there, whilst her hubby, Paul, sets up camp here, with my lovely wife! Could be a really good night!

I love baguettes, me.

Luke's had some very iffy Number One's on his birthday's so far:-

2007 - Beyonce & Shakira - Beautiful Liar
2008 - Madonna ft Justin Timberlake - 4 minutes
2009 - Calvin Harris - I'm Not Alone

I wouldn't say any of them are classics, but hey - he's got the rest of his life ahead of him, to have a classic birthday tune or two.

Until next time.....

Dear Luke

2009-05-08T03:08:00.003+01:00

Yesterday, I stole a packet of your pom bears. I apologise for this, but hope you can forgive me when you learn that they were prawn cocktail flavour. I will replace them for you.

So - your are Luke. You are a lovely boy, with a very kind nature. The only time you ever have to be told off is when you are tired. Occasionally you become frustrated when you can't convey what you want to say to me or your mum, but that is understandable.

At the moment you love bob the builder, postman pat and thomas the tank engine. You dance (in your own special way) to the theme tunes to all these programs, and more. By dance, I mean you stand in front of the television, holding on to the unit, and bob up and down really quickly. Sometimes you sing along, too, which is lovely to listen to. Something else you do (or can't do) is nod your head. Your whole upper body has to move, which is really funny to see.

I love being your dad, Luke. You have brought so much pleasure into mine, and your mums lives. Your happiness is infectious.

You know, and can say the names of all your brothers and sisters, and have recently started calling Robert Robert instead of hello. He is pleased. Also, you have just started calling Grandma, mam-ma instead of Mum. If you had continued calling her Mum it could have proved to be quite embarrassing! I totally understand why you called her mum. It was because your mum calls her mum. It makes perfect sense.

Right now, I'm in work. it's 3:15 am and i am very very tired indeed. Yesterday, I applied for a job which, if i get it, will mean i work normal hours again. I hope i do get it, if nothing else, just to work the normal hours, which will mean I can spend more time at home with you and your mum.

Today is your 2nd Birthday. We are having a party for you on Saturday, and all your friends have been invited. Friends like Scarlett, Sam, Ellis and so many more. You like them all a lot. I am sure we will all have a great day, even if it rains!! I am going to build your trampoline and try and put a playhouse together for you tomorrow afternoon.

I like this "Dear Luke" thing. I will try and do it more often, I think. Who knows - it might even spawn a blog-ette of it's own.

I hope you don't think I'm "un-cool" for keeping a blog. I am going to seem so old to you by the time you come to read this. Trust me - I still feel your age inside. Getting old for me is a physical process and most definately not a mental one. I still like all the music that I liked as a child. I'm not sure I'll ever accept the fact that I am an adult. It just seems odd!

I will end by saying thank you. Thank you for being my son. I am very very proud of you and can't wait to see you grow up and fashion yourself into your own person, and ultimately, grow, live and enjoy the world that your mum and I brought you in to.

I love you, Luke.

Daddy

The Things You Find When You're Not Looking

2009-04-30T11:28:00.006+01:00

Greetings

So I'd been send up into the loft to locate a specific box. Neither me, nor my lovely wife know what the box looks like, though. There must be hundreds of boxes in the loft, so I spent a good while up there, rooting and tooting to see if I could find the right one.

Whilst having a root, and a toot, I found a briefcase, full of my dad's old things. Driving licence, various letters, receipts and guarantees, that sort of thing. In it was a framed photograph of my mum. She looked lovely. SO happy, and radiant. Behind it was her death certificate. It is so hard trying to find the words to describe how that made me feel. I have never seen her death certificate before, I didn't even know it was in our loft. Furthermore, I didn't know she died at the same hospital Luke was born at.

Why didn't i know? Because I was 13 when she died. Just 13. My dad wasn't the type of man to sit down and open his heart and tell you how he was feeling. So much so that I don't remember him raising his voice to me or Emma at all. The look was enough to let you know you'd done wrong.

Mum would have been 62 on the 2nd May this year. She died in 1987 when she was just 40. My lovely wife has just turned 35, which puts my mums death into so much perspective from the point of view of my dad. I simply can't imagine losing my wife to something as despicable as cancer in 5 years. Or ever, to be honest, but that is the reality of what happened to mum.

I'm not sure my mums family ever really liked my dad. Mum was their angel, their baby, and the rough and ready lad from Bootle swept her off her feet and took her away (in their eyes). They can say and think what they like about him because I know how much he loved her. It's clear for me to see, from looking through his briefcase. I also found his wallet and in it was a photo of Emma in her school uniform.

He may never have spoken about his feelings, but I know he had them.

Who'd Have Thunk It?!

2009-04-21T13:49:00.002+01:00

Greetings

My lovely wife celebrated her birthday last week (along with her sister), so we upped sticks and went to Center Parcs for the weekend to celebrate. We could hardly believe the weather that we had. It was glorious. Not a sniff of rain during our stay. Perfect! I think a good time was had by all, and the weekend went off without a hitch. The cherry on it, was Everton beating Manchester United to secure a place in the final of the FA Cup. Now we just have to beat Chelsea in the final. Hmmmm.

There is much-a-do regarding the heavy handed approach by police at the recent G20 summit in London. There have been 2 or 3 incidents that were recorded by people who attended the protests, showing the police being a little over-zealous. Some of these police officers are getting a proper good bollocking from their employers, and one in particular is potentially facing a criminal prosecution. The media seem to be so concerned with the police's behaviour, that they have overlooked the violence that the police faced. I have mentioned this before, I am sure, so I won't harp on about it again now. Protesters are appealing for justice to be served. Justice is a two way thing.

My school re-union is getting closer. 16th May. I'm not even sure I am allowed to go, yet, but I am excited about it. I hope I do go. It would be excellent to catch up with old friends that I haven't seen for years. We shall wait and see.

I played badminton at Center Parcs. Haven't played since I was at school. I am still suffering now, 4 days after the event. That said, I loved it. I really enjoyed playing, despite being "the fat bloke". I must have looked ridiculous, but - I'm not overly concerned about how I looked. Whilst at Center Parcs, I played crazy golf for the first time in my life. I enjoyed that a lot more than I thought I was going to, too!

Righty ho - I have to go an re-assemble my sons' computer and do some tidying round after my youngest son has been playing!

I'm following Victoria Coren on Twitter now. I want to play poker. Or bet on horses. Hmmmm.

I'm off to open a betting account somewhere......

Getting Old?

2009-04-12T05:17:00.002+01:00

Yesterday (the 11th) was my third wedding anniversary. I'm really really proud to call Debbie my wife and to this day, I still don't know why she ever bothered with me!

I am 35 years old in June, and I'm starting to feel it. Maybe not so much physically, but mentally. I find that more and more, I am becoming less tolerant. I have spoken before about how irritated I can get behind the wheel. Todays irritant for me is greeting cards. I am very very pleased that my lovely wife and I decided not to get wedding anniversary cards for each other. I love her dearly, and she knows that, so I don't see the need to buy a piece of card to prove it to her.

That got me to thinking. I think I might set up a "justgiving" account, and ask anyone who ever feels the need to send me a card, to donate to charity using that instead. The amount doesn't matter. 50p, a pound, whatever they would normally pay for a card, give it to charity rather than going to the inconvenience of purchasing the card, writing it, only for me to read it and discard it. It seems utterly pointless to me, whereas giving money to a charity close to my heart makes everyone happy.

We stayed over at my sister and brother in law's during the week that just passed. I can't remember the last time we stayed there, and it was very nice indeed! They have just got a new laptop and wireless printer, so I offered to set it up and configure it for them. It took the best part of a full day to do, but I was pleased to see it working for them, and hopefully it will do so for many years to come!

I recently mentioned a presentation that I made to some work people. I was double nervous about it. Remember? Well - I found a mail in my inbox at work from my boss congratulating me on the feedback that he'd received about it, and I have won a recognition award for going outside my comfort zone. A bottle of red is my prize. Nice one!

We are going away with my wifes family this coming weekend to celebrate the birthday of my wife, and sister in law. They are 3 years apart, but share the same birthday. Good eh? Their birthday is on Thursday 16th, and we're off to Center Parcs on the Friday until Monday. I am looking forward to it greatly.

I listened to Dusty Springfield in work tonight. I've never really taken the time to listen to some of her less popular tracks, and I was totally blown away by her. She truly was an awesome lady singer.

I downloaded a film to watch called The Night Porter, starring Dirk Bogarde, and Charlotte Rampling. I watched most of it this evening. I thought the film was really odd, the edge taken off only with the amount of nudity, and the stunning beauty of Charlotte Rampling. I sometimes think I should have been born 20 years before I was.

I have volunteered to help build an african themed garden at my childrens school in Skelmersdale. It's part of a community initiative at work, and their school happened to be one of the four projects chosen throughout the north-west. I'm not 100% sure why they need, or even if they want an african themed garden, but by christ they're going to get one. I was absolutely tickled with one of my friends suggestions that we should turn up with two tonnes of elephant crap, tip it onto the playground, and drive off. Voila! Instant African garden!

Bank Holidays are funny things. Working for a bank, as I do, you may be surprised to learn that bank's don't really have holidays. This internet thingy is a bummer for its 24 hour availability, as are cash machines, and them little machines at shops and petrol stations up and down the country in which you put your card, and type in your pin, and leave with your goods. All them things need looking after by banks. Specifically - me.

I have decided that I really like Colleen Rooney this evening. I read an article on the Daily Mail website about her, and she seems really nice and relatively down to earth. I LOVE how unashamedly scouse she is, in amongst the otherwise pretentious Cheshire set.

If I ever - no. When I win the lottery, I would consider moving to Cheshire. I know now that I won't fit in. I am not, and never will be comfortable around people with money. I know that I look like a poor person, and even if I had £10m in my arse pocket, I'd still feel awkward in that environment. So why not stay in an environment in which you are comfortable, I hear you say. Well - because I'd be mugged and/or killed.

I spoke recently about reminiscing and how memories are, more often than not, rose tinted. I posted an item to Facebook recently about two police officers who were viciously assaulted by a 29 year old, and an 18 year old man. I got a response from a bloke who used to live near my Dad's house apparantly trying to justify it as acceptable based on the G20 protester who died of a heart attack hours after being pushed to the ground by a police officer. I accept that (from the footage I've seen), the protester seemed to be dealt with a tad harshly, however - biting, kicking and punching a female police officer because she is trying to arrest someone who is in breach of a curfew cannot be acceptable. I mean - what the bloody hell is a 29 year old man doing with a curfew order anyway? Get a pissing job! Stop whatever benefits he's fraudulently claiming and see how long it takes him to find work then!

I've been typing for 40 minutes now. None of it has been particularly interesting. Sorry. I'm always torn, writing this. When I started it last year, it was for me, and nobody ever read it. I know that one or two people do read it now, so I almost feel that I have to cater for their reading pleasure, rather than use it as a release for my own head.

Yours, in the mix - 12" vinyl 1987 style.

Showing Pink

2009-04-06T05:32:00.009+01:00

So - I was a pink lady. I wore a pink jacket, a pink neck-scarf and had another neck scarf tied around my head (I mustn't have looked enough of a tit without it). My lovely wife's works do was a great night out. Over the last 4 years, I've got to know a lot of the people she works with and they are mostly all so lovely.

Friday night was the last of her works' functions due to re-location, so it was a sad occasion. Well - it was for me. In their flourishes of youth, they really didn't seem that arsed that it was the last one. Maybe I reminisce too much. I often wonder if I am alone in harking back to my childhood and remembering it with such affection. Maybe in years to come, my wife's friends will look back and remember the many social occasions that they attended with fondness. Right now, they are too busy with the whole sex'n'drugs'rock'n'roll thing.

Speaking of reminiscing, my formative years as a child were spent roaming the highways and byways of Skelmersdale New Town. I remember it being all green and open, interspersed with council estates, but generally a nice place to grow up. Being realistic, it probably wasn't that good. Parts of Skelmersdale are a bit of a shit hole these days, but I remember them in a totally different light. They probably were a shit hole back then, too, but it was where I grew up. It was where my friends were, and as such, it will always be a special place to me.

You know pensioners who drive, well - when should they stop? You can drive in the UK for as long as your health allows you to, but is that really the safest thing? Research shows that drivers over the age of 55 are, on average, 22% slower to react than 30 year old drivers. Imagine how much that decreases with drivers aged 70 and over. Old drivers panic too much, and generally seem to be intimidated, and sometimes, they look like they are petrified when on the road. I think that once you reach a certain age you should have to prove that you still have the ability to react quickly and safely in certain situations. The test wouldn't necessarily have to take place behind the wheel. They could be made to watch a video and press buttons when certain events occur.

I have done over 200 "tweets" on twitter now, and I still love it. www.twitter.com/adum is me. I have tweeted at comedy Dave from the Chris Moyles breakfast show on Radio1 this evening, and at the lovely Lily Rose Allen. Neither of them responded to me, but I love the fact that my comments have appeared on their computer screens. It makes me feel artificially important.

Christian O'Connell is on Absolute Radio now, which signifies I have just one hour left, and my god I'm ready for some time off. I can't wait to get home, and have a proper cup of tea (rather than the bizarre fluid served by our machine in work), some crunchy nutty corn flakes, and maybe a bacon on toast chaser! I'm working 4 nights in a row from Friday - right over the Easter weekend. Sorry Jesus (and Debbie, of course). However, due to the T's and C's of my contract, I get paid an enhanced rate of overtime for working over Easter, so the eggs are on me!

I was very very pleased with the football results yesterday. Our 4-0 win over Wigan was superb, but Man United knocking them horrible scousers off the top of the table was the cherry on the cake. A commentator on sultana after the Liverpool game on Saturday said that their win over Fulham put them "temporarily at the top of the table". That amused me.

One more thing before I stop typing. In work, lots of the people with varying levels of physical ability have special chairs upon which they attach signs imploring people not to adjust them, etc. One I saw yesterday read "Do not remove or adjust Audrey Bridson". The lack of full stop really made me chuckle.

Yours, trying to decide if i'm a human or a dancer......

Need more time!

2009-04-02T23:01:00.002+01:00

Evening all

Had a tremendously busy day at work today. I gave my first ever presentation to a gathering of 15 people. It was about the Wiki that I've been developing for the last 9 months. I was tremendously nervous before, and during the presentation, but as soon as it was over, the relief was overwhelming. I got some really good feedback following it, though, so hopefully the right people will hear that too!

In years gone by, I have stood before hundreds of people as a DJ and addressed them, without any shy-ness or nerves at all. Strange how times change, isn't it?

Also on the work front, the manager that was more or less offering me a job last week has just been moved onto a major new project, so is no longer managing the team he wanted me for. Balls.

I am lazy. I am too lazy. I need to motivate myself more because once I do start doing something, I tend to enjoy it. I have loads of ironing to do, but there just don't seem to be enough hours in the day to do it. I am sat here, now, with my eyes half shut, typing this. If I was to iron now, I'd be ironing my hands, etc!

I am going to be a pink lady tomorrow at my lovely wife's work night out. I know, I know. I can't remember why I agreed to do it, but it should be fun if nothing else!

Sorry it's so small (the post!)

....And now to bed.

Long Way To Go Yet

2009-03-27T15:38:00.002Z

'ow do.

I met with the manager at work, yesterday, who has a job to offer. We spent about half and hour chatting about the role and what it involves, and where he sees it going in the future. I like it. It sounds like a job I would enjoy doing. But first, I have to complete the mammoth application form, get selected for an interview, pass the competency based interview, and only then will I stand a chance of getting it. As long as some Database genius doesn't come crawling out of the woodwork! Still - It needs to be done, so I need to crack on with it!

As well as meeting him yesterday, I spent time with a female manager whom I have never really spoken to before. I have developed this wiki thing in work to share knowledge amongst people, and she might as well of orgasmed when she saw it. I have been asked to attend an "away day" that she is organising for a couple of teams, so I can give a 15 minute presentation on my wiki. I don't do that sort of thing at all. It's happening on Thursday 2nd April. Boooo.

My lovely wife and I attempted another impromptu naked night on Tuesday. She called it off early doors, though, due to it being a bit chilly. Bugger.

I am working half of my night shift tonight, so I'll be finishing at midnight, instead of 7am! Bliss. Full shift tomorrow night, though. Or so I thought. The bloody clocks go forward, don't they!? Brilliant! 11 hours instead of 12. It's been a few years since I landed a clock change shift, and even then they were going back, so my 12 hours became 13. Frickers.

A good friend of mine has just found out his mum has pancreatic cancer. Understandably, he's cut up about it, but both myself and my lovely wife have spent a fair bit of time talking to him over the last few days, and I hope that between us, we've been of some help to him. If nothing else, just to be there to listen to him.

I got some great feedback from my lovely wife about my last post. She said it was really funny, and she'd enjoyed reading it. Sorry to let you down on this one, honey. x

Until next time....

Naked Night

2009-03-23T08:10:00.005Z

Howdy

I had a fantastic night on Saturday. I stayed in and watched TV. Does that make me sound like an old person? Do you think I drive a Nissan Micra? Well, I don't. I am old, though (the grey chest hairs prove that). BUT - Saturday was our first naked night in ages! Here's how it works - firstly, you get naked. Then, you stay like that for the night. You should try it - it's lots of fun because you can continually look at and touch your partner. Some might call it harassment - I call it naked night.

During the evening of naked night, my youngest son took part, too. He had a smashing time running round nappy-less. We decided it would be a good idea to get his potty from upstairs and put it in the lounge - just in case! My lovely wife was on the phone to her mum and said how Luke was running round naked but we had his potty to hand. My mother in law then suggested I should teach Luke how to use it by pissing in it myself.

My mother in law seems to be developing an ability to amaze me with the bizarre-ness ( I know that isn't a real word, but I am lost for one to use at the moment ) of things she says and does. The valentine card for her grandson (i thought) was odd, but suggesting I piss in his potty is a winner in the weirdness stakes.

Yesterday was Mothering Sunday, so I did all I could to treat my lovely wife to a nice day. She had salmon and eggs for breakfast, before we travelled south to visit her mum and sister, where we had a lovely Sunday lunch and generally a nice afternoon / evening.

It's right proper windy today and it seems to be blowing from all directions. I wouldn't like to be a bird today - I don't think they would ever get to their chosen destination. (by bird, I mean one with wings - not one with a vagina)

Jade Goody died yesterday. Rubbish timing, what with it being mothering Sunday, but I'm sure she didn't' have much say in the matter. Anyway, I feel for her children. Losing your mother is horrible enough, but yesterday of all days must have been (and continue to be) awful for them. Hopefully, the British media can now move on to find some other individual of limited intelligence to persecute. There are enough of them around so it shouldn't be that difficult. I hope Jade's passing draws even more attention to cervical cancer, and that screenings take place from whatever age is appropriate and on a regular basis. Furthermore, I hope her children are brought up in a balanced enough way to cope with their mothers passing.

Before I go, does anyone know how to change the clock on a Male 07 reg child? The internal clock on mine has gone wrong and it keeps automatically starting at exactly 06:10. It's not the end of the world, but an hour later would be lovely. Answers on a postcard, please.

Oh - one more before I go. I vented frustration regarding the rubbish new Facebook layout this morning. I vented TO Facebook. Not on some shitty group - nope. I found a feedback form which goes to the developers, so I fed back. Feel loads better for doing that now. User Twitter, dammit - it does what it tweets on the tin.

I think I actually could keep typing for ever. The bobinogs are on now, so I'll go and watch them instead.

Let's rock......

Normality On The Horizon?

2009-03-19T21:31:00.004Z

I had to attend a work conference last week, and it was rubbish. However, whilst I was there, one of the Managers spoke to me asking if I was interested in working for him. It would be a run of the mill Monday to Friday 8:30-4:30 job.

I have spoken at length with the lovely lady that lives with me, and we have decided that me working these hours is for the best. My four children that live with their mum are moving to North Wales in the summer (apparently), so the current arrangement for visits just would not work. At least if I wasn't working weekends, they could stay every other. Ace. Plus, if I have fixed working times, it will allow my lovely wife more flexibility over the hours she can commit to, without us having to rely on family help with Luke. I'm meeting with the Manager next week so we can discuss it a bit more.

Now for the awkward bit. My current manager is working hard to "raise my profile" and "promote me" within the business. I have spent the last six months working on an intranet based knowledge management tool, and it is superb. I am very very proud of it, and the idea was to roll it out team by team until everyone is using it to it's full potential. If the move goes ahead, I am going to feel really bad about leaving the project - but - I have to think of what is best for me, and my family. If I continued to work the shift pattern that I do, I would see my four children only during holidays, and only If I booked time off work to do so.

Our Zafira car had it's first MOT on Monday, and passed with flying colours. Well done, car.

I had the rudest dream yesterday! I don't often have rude dreams but this was a bit of a shocker even for me!

Missed out on an ace little TV for our bedroom from Costco. Gutted about that. However, the purchase that I made over the weekend of an Internet Radio is going to take the edge of it for me. I got it for £100 less than the cheapest online price I could find. Toys-R-Us had most definitely mis-priced it at £29.99. God bless'em. The entire UK stock sold out within a few hours of this bargain being posted over at HotUKDeals.

Today has been a lovely day. I woke up at 1pm after finishing my night shift, safe in the knowledge that I have six days off. The sun was shining, so we went into the garden and had a kick around with luke, dug a few weeds up, and made some preliminary plans for amendments to the design of the garden.

Right - I be off to bed to watch Shameless!

Scatter!!!

{Insert title here}

2009-03-11T16:29:00.004Z

I have just got back from a quick trip into Wigan to get my lovely wife's glasses repaired. She left them on a table within reach of our son, and he "modified" them. Specsavers appear to have got them back into a shape that resembles a pair of spectacles, so we shall wait and see how long they last.

Whilst in Wigan, I saw an old lady. I say old, she was at best late 50's, more like early 60's. She had a very sheer blouse on, which, wrongly, i know, drew my attention to it. Furthermore, her bra was also equally sheer, and inside it, I could see a big dark nipple. Normally, this sort of event would be cause for celebration, but today, I just feel dirty and upset by what I saw.

I need to have a shave, but my neck still hasn't recovered from the last shave I had. More often than not my neck goes a little red after a shave, but this time, it has become most upset. I'll see how it is tomorrow.

I have gone a bit twitter crazy of late. I signed up at the end of last year, and as each day passes, I'm becoming more and more addicted to it. It shouldn't be so addictive, but somehow - it is. Come folla me now at www.twitter.com/adum . I recently started following Lily Rose Allen. Well happy with that. I've also had brief "conversations" (if you can call them that on twitter) with Mike Toolan (a local radio DJ from Manchesterville), and Geoff Lloyd (a national radio dj from Mattlesfield). Whilst both of these things are entirely irrelevant, they both made me feel good. (Such a tit). It's almost like it's because I see that they both have elevated positions in society, and I have somehow talked them into taking a few seconds out of their lives to type at me.

My god Mr Tumble gets on my tits. He is so bloody patronising towards children. Grrrr.

Right, last night in work, we were watching VH1 Classic. FANtastic music tv channel, BUT - half way through the amazing work that is West End Girls, by the Pet Shop Boys, it chopped it. We had a few seconds of a black screen, and then Eagle Eye bloody Cheery came on. Furious doesn't come close to it.

As I type, my son is sat next to me (watching mr pissing tumble), and stroking my face. It is beautiful. He just put his finger inside my ear. I take it back.

My other children are coming to stay with us tomorrow night until Saturday. I am very much looking forward to this as I miss them blummin loads.

Man United are on TV tonight, so that ties in well with my desire to have a beer. I'm sure my lovely wife will be up for that, too. She is creating a pork stir fry thing for us tonight. I was left instructions to begin the marinade process at 4pm exactly. It was 4:03 when I did it. Hope I haven't ruined the meal.

Ooohh - I just discovered (by accident) that my middle mouse scrolly button thing scrolls through the open tabs in my browser. I like that a lot! (in a sad wankery way).

Now - I must go and attempt to re-discover my living room floor. I know its underneath these toys and books somewhere.....

Never Again

2009-03-08T22:27:00.002Z

Howdy.

I am sat here, so completely happy because i'm in my own home, with my wife and child. It's a simple pleasure, but it means so much.

My trip to High Wycombe last week was awful. The course itself was really useful, and I am certain i will be able to do more things in work as a result of it. But - where do i start. The lad i went down there with - is an absolute embarrassment. He is in his early to mid 40's, and behaves like some sort of hormonal teenager. Walking along the street, and he's letching and leering at anything with a pair of boobs. One day, in the building where the course was held, we were sat with two other course participants from another company, and the Polish office girl walked through the room we were sat in. We all glanced at her, then returned to the conversation that was taking place. He grinned to himself, and said "I would". I wanted the ground to open up.

I was so pleased to get home, and get a lovely big hug from my son, and later on in the evening, my wife, too. I had a lovely night in my own bed!

Saturday saw us travel down (and left a bit), to Derby. We spent a lovely night there with friends and had the most incredible meal prepared for us. My sincere thanks go to Lisa for the amount of preparation and work that went into the meal. Beautiful!

We had a kind of meandering drive back. We decided to go via Macclesfield, but changed that last minute, and I can now say that I have been to (through) Congleton. There are some oddly named places round there. My wife was, however, very protective of these place names, as she hails from not too far away.

We eventually got home, and I watched Everton fight their way through to the semi-finals of the FA Cup. Well done, men!

I am going to do my best to stay up late tonight, so I can sleep in in the morning instead of having a sleep tomorrow afternoon before work tomorrow night! I'm sure some episodes of 24 will see me through.

Now for a nice cuppa.......

Eye eye

2009-03-01T21:44:00.002Z

Well that was a lovely weekend, to be sure!

We had a trip down to Middlewich to visit an old friend of my lovely wife's. She and her family put us up overnight and we had a smashing Chinese meal and it was de-lish !! It was the first time I'd really spent any time with Sarah, or her husband, Mike and both they, and their two daughters are absolutely brill. Can't wait to see them all again sometime soon.

I have a busy week ahead of me. Work tomorrow (which, selfishly, I'm unhappy about, even though I've wriggled out of my four nights in a row stint, in favour of one day), then a potential fleeting visit to the Fylde coast on Tuesday, before a drive down to High Wycombe for me in order to attend a course on Wednesday. It's a three day course, and whilst I'm looking forward to the course itself, I wish it could have been held a little closer to home so i didn't have to stay away.

I'm not sure what time I'll be getting home on Friday - hopefully won't be too late. Then on Saturday, we're off to Derby to visit friends, which (as usual), I am very looking forward too! I have Sunday off before being back in work Monday and Tuesday nights.

My brother in law mentioned Apple TV earlier, and I've been to the UK Apple site and had a good look at it this evening, and have decided that it's ace. But - I want more from it. I want something similar to it, but for that device to not only output HD video, and store ALL my mp3's, podcasts and photo's, but i want it to at least be a PVR, too. Try as I might, i cannot figure out appropriate search terms for Google. Hmmm.

My eye is broken. Well - it works, but it is damaged. Some little flying bastard thing went in it yesterday, and it has made the white of my left eye (right to you!) become bloodshot. It hasn't affected my vision, but i want to take my eye out, and scratch it like I've never scratched anything before!! Aaaahhhhh!!!!! It was fun at first, having a knackered eye, but it's just bloody annoying now.

My son went to bed quite well tonight. I can't remember if I've mentioned his new bedtime routine on here, but tonight was a good'un! Bath - milk - put in bed - pretended to cry for about 5 mins - job done. I took in the last 15 mins of the 1st episode of season 2 (you keeping up with me, here?) of 24 while he accepted defeat and closed his eyes. Sleep well, son.

(I will stop typing soon, sorry for going on)

I made a smashing curry today, whilst my sis and bro-in-law visited with my nephew. It was crackin'. I was also pleased that I managed to stay on top of keeping the kitchen fairly in-order whilst i did it, too! Normally, i use every single thing in the kitchen just to boil and egg, but today - I did well.

All this blogging regarding food has made me hungry. Might go and have..... some cereal!

Right - I be off.

Goodnight, goodbye, and thank-you.

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Routine Routine Routine

2009-02-28T07:57:00.002Z

For the last three nights, we have introduced a new bedtime routine for my youngest son.

You see, he's always been a bit of an arse when it comes to the whole going to bed thing, but, hopefully - things will now change. We have seen an improvement, so hopefully it will continue.

I went to see my doctor yesterday to get the results of some blood tests that I had done. I'd be lying if i said i wasn't nervous. Unless you had complete faith in the health of your body, I think most people would be a tad worried. In particular, I was worried about my cholesterol, and diabetes. Cholesterol because I mostly eat shite, and diabetes because my dad had it. As it goes - all was well.

I do, however, need to exercise. Not exactly earth shattering news, but I'm glad he said it because it will (has) given me the kick start I need. Time to recharge the batteries on the Wii ! Joking aside, Yesterday, I went out and bought foods to assist me eat more healthily, as well as going for a walk for a few miles around my old haunts in Skelmersdale.

Today for the first time in years I have had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, instead of a great many pieces of toast.

Regarding the walk, I had my eldest and youngest sons with me, and it was lovely. I enjoyed pointing out things of relative interest such as a number of houses built in the 1600's, and the bizarre bunker like structure at Elmers Green. Take a look at the google map of things we saw, if you want?

I've really enjoyed having the children stay for the last couple of nights. On the first night, my eldest daughter didn't want to stay. As per usual, it was a half-arsed excuse, but it was her decision and that is ok. They are all such a good help around the house, especially with my youngest son.

Who still has milk delivered? 56p a pint in some places - it's just absolutely mental. People need to go out and buy it themselves, and the milkmen (and women) need to get a different job where mugging people in their own homes isn't involved.

Tonight sees us head to Middlewich to visit one of my wife's childhood friends and her family. I am very much looking forward to it indeedy!

I expect tomorrow will be about returning home, ironing, relaxing, and maybe watching the Clint Eastwood movie, Gran Torino. I managed to watch 20 minutes of it a few nights back, and it really had me captured.

Until next time...

Quite Unbelievable

2009-02-26T00:16:00.003Z

I have just read an article in the Daily Mail (how very middle England of me?!) regarding the war in Afghanistan. British intelligence has reported that they have heard radio "chatter" between members of the Taliban who have Yorkshire and West Midlands accents. These men are being referred to in the media as "disaffected muslims".

Has this country of ours really now got to the stage of supporting these muslim children from birth onwards, only to see them become "disaffected" in later life, so they fuck off over to Afghanistan and shoot soldiers from the very country that they legally belong to????!

This is a cause of great concern for me. Best guess is that there are currently approximately 2.4 Million muslims living in the United Kingdom. Now I realise that the number of those muslims who are "disaffected" is a difficult one to gauge, but I think we can assume that it is a very very low number. I don't know much about the muslim religion, but I would love to. What is it about muslims that causes a minority to be so angry with the land of their birth that they feel compelled to travel thousands of miles to fight?

I am singling out muslims here, but I know other religions have extremists, too - such as islam. I suppose the point i'm trying to make is that you don't hear much about Christian extremists. Yes, there was an incident in Paris surrounding "The Last Temptation Of Christ" in 1988, but before that, you're looking at centuries ago to find evidence of Christians being uber-pissed off.

So why are muslims and islamists so unhappy? I don't know, but i am sure that learning about the religion could only help me understand.

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All change at the next stop

2009-02-22T23:34:00.003Z

Something odd is happening to me. I can't fully explain why, or when it started to happen, but I do think that it is happening.

I am beginning to think about work - outside of work. I don't do that. In the past, I would switch off when I leave. Of late, however, I find myself musing over things that have happened, and things I want to happen.

Maybe it's the time of year. I have a meeting with my boss this week to discuss my development and set objectives for the rest of this year. It will, no doubt, be full of bullshit bingo words, but I can see through that.

I spoke to my ginger daughter on MSN Messenger today. (If I were more modern and "hip", I would have called it Windows Live Messenger, but i'm not so I shall refrain). She is funny. She is only 8 years old, but has a superb sense of humour. I do hope she keeps it into her adult life.

David Attenborough is absolutely fascinating. There aren't many broadcasters who totally get your attention, but what he has to say is amazing.

One day when I grow up, I will have some sort of blu-ray player, and the first discs I want to buy for it, are the BBC Planet Earth box-set. For me, they have to be the ultimate viewing pleasure in high definition.

My lovely wife wasn't feeling too well earlier, so I left work an hour early. When i got home, she wasn't as bad. I am pleased she isn't ill or anything. I like her a lot and don't want her to be broken. Like Mikel Arteta. Bugger.

I still need a new coat. Mine is frigged and the pocket is hanging off. I am not overly concerned at this stage as, I think, I generally look tramp-esque anyway. I can totally justify it because in my head, people expect me to look like that, so a pocket hanging off makes no odds.

My next two nights in work have got me a bit twitchy. Hope they go well, and no tits present themselves facing skywards.

I am furious. Furious with the hypocrisy of what appears to be most of the inhabitants of this land we call home. Jade Goody. God bless the poor girl, she's not at all well - riddled with cancer, and she's not got long left with us. Now I am a particular hater of cancer. I despise it and pray for a breakthrough to be made to help us rid the world of this horrific life taker.

My problem is that 12 months ago, Jade was being regularly ridiculed for being a dumb-fuck cockney chav-ess - which she is. Let us not forget the conversation between Jade and PJ in the Big Brother house regarding East Anglia. "East Angular," Jade begun. "I thought that was abroad". You fucking retard.

All of a sudden, because she's ill - she is the nation's sweetheart. Please don't misunderstand me - I do feel for her and her chav family, but I just think it's all a bit hypocritical.

A while back, I sent an e-mail to a lady called Sally Moon. Sally used to be a radio dj on "Red Rose Radio" in the 1980's. I was on a show with her one Saturday afternoon. I was the "young dj of the day". It was, at that point, one of the proudest days of my life. Sally works at BBC Radio Cumbria and I wrote to her because I'd heard a song on BBC Radio 2 that reminded me of her. She replied and said she remembered me and asked how things were going. That made me happy.

My legs hurt now due to a lack of motion and I am thirsty for tea, and hungry for crunchy peanut butter on toast. mmmmmm

Namaste

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It's A Beautiful Day

2009-02-20T07:48:00.003Z

Well what a lovely day I had yesterday. It started off a bit ropey with me turning up almost 15 mins late for an appointment with a nurse to extract blood from me. Me and needles haven't had the best relationship over the years. As it pierces my skin, all the memories come flooding back to me and I feel instantly nauseous. As if that wasn't bad enough, I'd had to fast prior to having the blood taken. Sadists, all of them.

Following that ordeal, I got home and had a lovely cup of tea (made by my lovely wife), and some toast. I then recruited my eldest son to assist me in putting some new felt on my shed roof. He was excellent. I couldn't have done it without him.

We then had lunch and piled into the hire zafira and headed up into town so my youngest daughter and son could visit the dentist. They were just getting out of the car, when the garage rang to say they'd fixed my car. I was... sceptical, if I'm honest. We collected it about an hour later, and I am now very pleased with it indeed, oh yes I am.

The hire car should have gone back with 1/4 tank of fuel in it, but it went back on fumes. I told them that the car was dirty when I got it, and she scribbled out the fuel entry on the sheet. Almost a bit too easy, i thought. Ah well - we've had the full deposit refunded now so all is well.

Off to Southport from there, and Hesketh Park was our destination. I've only ever been there once before, and even that was at night time, so It was good to see that it is actually a lovely big park. Lots of development work has taken place, and the park looks really nice. The children loved the animals, and the play area, of course.

As a treat, we headed off for a KFC meal for tea (the meal that is consumed around 5pm-ish). Well and truly stuffed, we set off for home.

I decided to avoid motorways and most a-roads and all costs as I was worried about getting stuck in traffic. I might have gone a bit over the top in my quest to avoid these roads, though. Apologies to my passengers for the meandering route home that I took.

On the way home, my two eldest children were sat chatting away to each other in a very adult, normal way. Not screaming at each other, or bickering in any way at all. It was so good to hear one of them put a point of view across, and for the other to comment and add to it.

To reward them, my lovely wife suggested we make a chocolate fondue. I was dispatched to the co-op for the provisions, and my wife and children had a lovely time eating chocolatey banana, grapes, and marshmallows.

A lovely sweet end, to a smashing day. I love my people.

Peace and love peace and love peace and love.

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Shit

2009-02-18T21:53:00.002Z

It's typical isn't it? I spent ages washing my wife's car - twice in fact. We then went out for a few hours in my car - got back, and hers was covered in shit. Bird shit, you understand. Not human. That would just be wrong.

I was gutted. Not one splash of it, no - I counted 9. NINE. That bird needs to see a vet.

I took it really personally, that the bird chose to leave the car alone for months and months, and only decided to shit all over it when I'd washed it.

I am pissed right off with people not ringing me back when they promise to. My bank (who i work for) haven't contacted me about a complaint I made weeks ago. The garage who are "fixing" my car - again promise to call me with updates, and never ever have, in the two weeks they've had it. They are all bastards. Grrrrr

My course in High Wycombe is looming. I've made the hotel and car reservation now, so everything is in place for my 3 days of torment with the bloke I'm going with. Can't wait.

We went to visit my Auntie and Uncle in Scouseland today. We haven't seen them in such a long time, it was lovely. My cousins son was there, too. He is a lovely little lad, who's got a fair bit of attitude on him. Just like his dad, as I recall.

I illegally downloaded all of season two of 24 today. They have now been converted from avi's to mp4's and uploaded to my ipod, ready for viewing. I can't wait!

Have I told you I have rediscovered flock? I can't remember. Well - I have - and thus far, I approve. I don't like it's yahoo searchy-ness, but I'm sure there is something I need to enable or disable or just able to make it use google. I used to love yahoo - i was it's friend. Now, it gets on my tits - with it's big red "y", and it's "do you yahoo" advertising. Shit off, yahoo. Shit right off.

I have indigestion again tonight, which is concerning. I have magic tablets that I used to have to take regular as clockwork to enable me to eat normally, and without the agony that I used to suffer. Eventually, my doctor told me to take them as and when i needed to. I've not taken any for months, but I've just had my 4th in 24 hours. My belly juices must be imbalanced or something. I don't know. Either way - that needs to shit off, too.

I just watched the Pet Shop Boys collect a Brit Award for best gays or something like that. I like them lads. Always have done, since the first time I heard West End Girls, back in the 80's. That song is properly properly su-frickin-perb.

Now I've got all that off my chest, i feel content.

My lovely wife is making washing up noises in the kitchen, so I'd best go show my face.

See y'z

And It Feels Good

2009-02-17T20:35:00.001Z

Howdy all.

I feel good. I feel content. I feel happy!

I have just converted my sons cot into a bed for him, and I am very proud indeed. My son seems rather pleased, too!

I am also pleased because I have just finished work for a few days. I am very tired and am looking forward to climbing into bed with my lovely wife this evening. We are about to sit down and watch "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button". I really don't know what to make of the film. I know little about it other than it's on for 2 hours and 30 something minutes.

We watched Slumdog Millionaire the other day. I felt a bit that I was left wanting a bit more from it. It has been hyped so much, and is winning award left right and centre. I can see why it is winning awards, but - yeah - i'm not sure.

I am looking forward to seeing my children tomorrow. They will stay with us for a couple of nights, and I am sure it will be lovely! I must try and think of something nice for us all to do whilst they are here.

I have decided that I now like the Flock Browser. I have installed it again after knackering my laptop by attempting to upgrade it from XP MCE to Vista. I somehow managed to use over 12Gb of disk space during the upgrade, and to say it's performance was degraded is an understatement. Anyway - one format and several hours of configuration later, and we're back on track!

My car is still broken. It's been at the garage for 2 weeks tomorrow. I miss it, and I want it back.

My wife knows about this blog now, which I am pleased about. I've never wanted to hide it from her, so I sat with her a few days ago whilst she read it. I would love to know if anyone else reads it - if you do - please post a comment to let me know!!

I am a bit indegestion-y at the moment, so I'll go and take one my magic tablets before settling down to watch this film.

Right then - until next time......

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People Watching

2009-02-11T08:08:00.004Z

Morning one and, well - one.

I spent most of yesterday at the Trafford Centre. My lovely wife and child met up with some of her old friends, and went playing in a soft play thing. Whilst they did this, I went to ASDA and bought some..... 3in1 oil. "And", i hear you say.

Well for me, that was a really significant purchase. You see, I constantly need affirmation in most aspects of my life, and being a dad is top of the list. Dads have 3in1 oil, and until yesterday, I've never owned my own can of it. Now, I no longer have squeaky doors and if anything dare to squeak anywhere near me, I shall attack it with gusto using my 3in1.

I managed to squeeze in watching another episode of 24 on my iPod whilst waiting for my people. I've only got 2 episodes of season 1 to go. I know I'm decades behind the rest of the 24 world, but i never have been the quickest on the uptake of new "fads". Oooh Fads. Whatever happened to that DIY shop? I must google in a bit.

As well as 24, I did a fair bit of people watching. I absolutely LOVE people watching. It takes no more than 15 minutes to see every colour, creed and shape in that place. I saw a balding disabled bloke (the kind that shout random noises). I say balding - the monk-style hair her still had was properly ginger!

I saw another lady in a wheelchair, and she was very interesting. She genuinely looked like a box. She was a very well built woman, who's head seemed to have been plonked on top of her almost as an afterthought. She had no legs, so I pondered how it must be difficult to lose / control your weight without being able to, I don't know - use a Wii Fit?

However, my favourite thing I saw was one of the Red Jacket-ed folk who walk round holding walkie-talkie's, trying to look important. This was a female one - very pretty woman if I'm honest, but she had THE fattest wrists. In fact, I've never really seen fat wrists before. Maybe it was that - I've never seen them before, so it made me stare.

In retrospect, I wish I'd taken photographs of these sights.

Anyway - all in all, a good day was had. We also had some excellent news from one of my wife's University friends, who stayed with us just a few weeks ago. She gave birth to a lovely baby boy yesterday morning. Congrats, Nik!

My wife needs more exposure...... to public transport, and generally not driving to places. She is working in Manchester today and the 1/2 mile walk from Deansgate station to her destination didn't quite go according to plan. I had two "I'm lost" phone calls. I wonder how the trip from her place of work back to the station will go this evening?

Right, I have a lot to do, so I'd best get on and do it.

Until next time....

Doin' Me 'Ed In !!!

2009-02-09T17:40:00.004Z

I like my car. To be fair - i LOVE my car. When I can be arsed to clean it and polish it and vacuum it's insides, it is (i think) beautiful. But - it's a great big pain in my arse, too. It keeps breaking. Well, it thinks it's broken. The on board computer constantly reports the same fault.

It's not three years old so it's all covered by the manufacturers warranty, but that is up next month and my ass is gettin a twitchy!

I had my children stay this weekend and we had such a lovely time. Initially, we had a party with some friends of ours planned, but their youngest son wasn't too well, so in the interests of the health of all involved, we decided it would be best to cancel it for now. I swear - keeping children well, and disease free is a never ending quest!

I prepared a (even if i do say so myself) superb lamb roast dinner for us. I did forget the Yorkshire Puds, but, it wouldn't have been an authentic dish prepared by me if I hadn't forgotten something!

Later on the Sunday, we ended up tagging along with my wife and son, who had made arrangements to meet some of her ex-work colleagues in Westhoughton. They are such a lovely bunch of people, I was more than happy to tag along. We all met up in the Wetherspoons pub, The Robert Shaw, and had a desert each, and then went off to the local park, just as it started to snow. It was fab. Freezing cold, but we had a lovely half hour playing!

Back home, with the snow increasing, the females in my family settled down to watch Mamma Mia. How utterly shit is that film? Properly rubbish. It was that bad, I went out in the freezing cold to get milk from the local co-op, then ironed for 90 mins when I got home.

I saw my sister and her son today. I don't see enough of them at all, but like everything, there doesn't seem to be any spare time! She doesn't drive, either, which doesn't help. She'll get there in the end, I'm sure.

I need to go and start preparing Chicken Chasseur. My lovely wife is working until 8 something tonight, and i said I'd have it ready for her return. Got a few hours yet, but got lots of baby entertaining / feeding / bathing / settling to do during that time!

The BBC still haven't e-mailed me back after I complained about local radio reception. I am such a sad wanker.

One thing that I almost forgot to say was something that happened to me this afternoon whilst driving. I heard a voice from the back of the car, and whilst it didn't sound like her, I became convinced it was my mother, who died in 1987. Very odd - nothing like that has ever happened to me before, so it has freaked me out a bit. Hmmm

See y'z

Merry Christmas Everyone

2009-02-02T07:14:00.004Z

So yesterday afternoon, it teased us. It didn't go too far at first, it took it's time, but later that day it was all over us. It's snowing!!!

As those of you that know me (that's going to be nobody, then) will know, I LOVE adverse weather, and snow is fairly adverse.

I have been up since about 5:30 with my son (which i'm overjoyed about), but the edge has been taken off my early start because everywhere is white. It's beautiful. I only wish I had cause to go out in it. My black car is white and it's ace. Oooohh I love it.

I seem to be spending every spare minute I have fixing computers at the moment. I'm always swapping and changing bits and pieces between computers of my own, but just yesterday I finished off re-installing an operating system on a veeeeery old computer which belongs to a friends parents only to have to assist my brother in law with an itunes dilemma he had.

Just put Sky News on and I am amused at the typically british reaction to the snowfall we've had overnight. Motorways closed, all sorts of train services cancelled - the country is grinding to a halt. Utterly ridiculous.

Oh, and my son has just fallen asleep. 2 hours after he woke up. Brilliant.

I hope the snow doesn't leave us today. The weather forecast says the temperature isn't going to rise above one degree today. That, combined with no rain, should mean that it stays.

Right, i'm going to have another cuppa - or maybe i'll try and do some sleeping. Hmmmm.

Until next time....

Bullshit Bingo

2009-01-28T13:31:00.002Z

Howdy

Apologies (to the nobody that follows this blog), for the delay in creating a new post. Been mental busy with work and with friends over last weekend.

I ended up booking Friday night off work because we simply had too much tidying and straightening to do before our friends arrived on Saturday to stay the night with us. Just about got it all done, though.

I think that the weekend went well. I certainly enjoyed it, anyway!

Back to work with a bang on Monday as we had system problems which resulted in me having to do 12 hours hard(ish) graft. Not impressed. Luckily, it had calmed down by Tuesday.

I am back in tonight and tomorrow night, so we will have to see what joys unfold during those two nights.

My son isn't too well (again) at the moment. Full of cold with a cough and runny nose and sticky eyes! From the neck down - he's fine. Venture north of the neck, and he's frigged. He is on 4 different medicines to try and rectify the problems. Poor little man.

I started twittering yesterday. Yeah - finally got round to joining and seeing what all the fuss is about. As it happened, when I registered, it told me that my email address was already in use. I asked it to send me a password reminder and it would appear that I actually signed up in 2007. Must have been drunk because I don't remember doing that at all.

So - pop over to www.twitter.com/adum and see what shite I'm spouting there, too, why don't you.

I am in bed, posting this, as I am about to try and get some sleep in before work tonight. Wife and son have gone to see her parents and sister in Macclesfield, so I won't see them again until tomorrow. It is that aspect of working shifts that I hate.

I have created a wiki in work. I love it, I think it's a brilliant creation, as does my boss. So much so that I have to attend a senior management meeting and give them an overview of what it does. Don't know why - they will never use it, it is the staff under them who would / could use it.

I have realised that this may be the single most boring post i've made on here yet. I felt I had to do this post because it's been so long since my last. If I would have left it any longer, I would have been worried i'd lose interest.

So apologies for this being a shit one - i'll try harder next time....

So.... yeah

2009-01-16T14:19:00.003Z

Now then. Today is a rubbish day for wife-seeing. I finished my night shift early, and was in bed for 6:30am. My lovely wife woke me at 12:20, and as I walked downstairs, she gave me a kiss, and a quick child-handover before leaving for work. She's working until 9:30 tonight. No more than a minute did we spend together. Working is shit.

Speaking of working, I am being sent on a course with work. It's a 3 day residential in High Wycombe. The course itself will be very useful for me in my job, but I am being sent on it with a complete knob. Not happy.

In work last night was a fat bloke. Not a normal fat bloke, but a massive fat bloke. He was sat next to me whilst I performed some tasks on the computers for him, and I could hear him breathing and wheezing next to me. It was like his body was secretly crying out for help. He was telling me how happy he was that he had to stay late at work because it meant he could have KFC for tea. I should have guessed that before he said it.

I have lots of tidying up to do this weekend, ahead of a visit from friends next weekend. They are old friends of my wife's, and we spent a night at each others houses twice a year. It's nice, but I always panic like mad incase I do stuff wrong. I'm not the best host, you see. I don't instinctively know what to offer people, and when. I base my hosting skills on my own wants and needs. So, no matter what time of day they arrive, I offer them beer. They mostly want to drink coffee, though. bah.

I also find meal preparation tricky. If I have the time, I can knock up a nice meal using... ingredients. But on these visits, I don't see that I have any time to be doing that. As well as the feeding of the friends, we "have" to arrange for an afternoon out somewhere, to pass the time. I think we are looking at taking the two birds with one stone option, and going out somewhere nice for something to eat!

Have I told you that my beard has gone? Yeah - I did 13 days, and whipped it off. It bugged me loads after that long.

I am well cold, sat here, in my living room. That's a point. Some people have a lounge - I have a living room. Are they the same room with different names?

AND - (here we go) why is it, that when women go shopping for, for example, a jumper - they pick up a jumper, take it off the hanger, feel it and try it against their body. You smile and say "that's nice", and they say "I don't like it". Why the FUCK did you pick it up and take it off the hanger and feel it and try it against your body then?! Surely you would look at it and think "nah", and move on. I love my wife dearly, and I don't blame her for this bizarre behaviour. I think it just comes with the boobs and fanny to be honest. She has no control over it.

Heard this track on the radio a fair bit recently. Absolutely love it. It helps that she's utter filth and very easy on the eye, too!

Right, time to haul my white ass into gear and get ready, get luke ready, then go and collect my children!

Until next time, god willing...

Si thi

Rainy Days And Mondays...

2009-01-11T10:16:00.002Z

...always get me down. Well today is a rainy Sunday and tomorrow I am back in work on (what is forecast to be) a veeery rainy Monday.

I'm really obsessed with weather forecasts. A few years ago a very good friend of mine told me about Metcheck. It's fabulous because it isn't put together by boffins (isn't that just one of the funniest terms?) at the BBC or the Met Office. It's put together by boffins in their own homes. I like that. Folk who have a fascination so great that they have made the investment in monitoring equipment and have decided to input to this website. It's boss.

I ordered take-away food online last night. I had planned to make a smashing caserole thing but at 4:30 when i thought about starting to prepare it, i looked at the instructions (is that what they're called when referring to food preparation?) and they told me it would be between 1.5 and 2 hours!!! Myself and my lovely wife were mad hungry at this point. It was then that I had my epiphany. I remembered seeing a URL on one of the millions of take-away menu's that get pushed through our door.

I rooted it out, we consulted the menu, and in no time, the order was placed. It advised me it would be approximately 45 mins for delivery. 20 mins later, a gentleman arrived at my door with our food! Properly fantastic service. Check and see if you can do the same thing at JustEat. Again - it's boss.

I had a bit of an emotional roller-coaster visit from my children this weekend. I'm not going into detail but I just hope that things pan-out and everyone is happy. It's been quite some time since I had a wobble like that over them. Foolish me - I thought all that was all in the past.

Don't you just love the new advert for Virgin Atlantic. The one with the flight attendants walking through the airport in their striking red outfits. Maybe it's the lad buying the Big Country album from our price music for £5.99. Or the boy playing rubiks cube. Or maybe the Frankie Goes To Hollywood soundtrack. Or maybe just how unmistakably 80's it is. I love the 80's so much. It is my opinion that 1987 was THE best year for popular music. But i'm a sad wanker, so what do you care of my opinions?!

Ok - I have to go and do something more productive.

'nuff respec'. Shabba.

Why Oh Why

2009-01-09T20:34:00.002Z

I haven't posted anything here for a few days now. Not particularly through a lack of time, but mainly through a lack of motivation, but now - I feel guilty.

Guilty is a stupid thing to feel. I have NO followers. No bugger ever comes here and reads this crap that I spout, so why do I feel guilty? I don't know - maybe I feel like I'm letting myself down by not keeping it updated. Ah well - now i've started....

I am 8 days into my beard. It has been stubbly. It has been a bit spikey. I had a day of tremendous itchy-ness, too, but now - it's soft. I'm also pleased because it isn't ginger. It's mostly my regular hair colour, but the chin area is a bit grey. Now I can't remember if i've said this before on here, but i've always fancied a grey beard. However, now it's here, i'm thinking i'm going to look a bit "Damon Hill". He really didn't suit a beard. I bumped into an old friend today, and she complimented me on my beardy look. Thinking about it - she was hardly likely to say "hey - haven't seen you in years - what the fuck is that on your face?" was she?

I am so hungry and have got soooooo much to do before my beautiful wife comes home from work, I really must go and get on with boring, yet important tasks. Ooohh - just remembered it's Friday night. Friday night is 80's night on Century Radio (soon to be known as Real Radio). A name change that I approve of. Who the hell cares about my opinions on this. I'm off. See y'z.

2009

2009-01-02T09:57:00.005Z

Right then. Here we go again. Another year - another lot of hopes and expectations, no doubt destined to crash and fail.

I had a smashing Christmas and New Year. My 4 children from my previous marriage are with me now, and will be going back to their mum today.

The lake at the back of my house is all frozen over this morning. It's been minus loads of degrees over the last few days. Driving round yesterday, it was a constant -3.5 degrees centigrade. That really is rather chilly. I hope the lake stays frozen until later on when I get get out there with my camera and take some "snaps".

I have taken hundreds of photographs of the area behind my house. It's just so beautiful and peaceful yet full of wildlife. I love it.

Day 2 of my month without shaving sees me looking just a bit stubbly. Not in a sexy way. My god no. You see these blokes walking round with a few days growth, and all sorts of girls either hanging off them or swooning all over them. I am SO not like that. I just look unclean and a bit trampy. Nice, eh?

I took a fabulous photo of my wifes bottom last night.

I was bought some totes toasties for Christmas. I was sat having a pee the other day (yes, i do sit to pee), thinking about how lucky I am to have such items of complete luxury. They are so cosy and warm and try as I might, i simply cannot slip on my laminated wood floor. It's a miracle.

Regarding Flock - I gave it a few days, but it wasn't quite what I expected it to be. It is good, don't misunderstand me. I want all my social networking sites to just load when I launch the browser, rather than me having to click buttons to log them in manually. Plus - my 1280x1024 resolution on my laptop just doesn't have enough height to it to be able to have a photo stream running as well as perform normal browsing. Nice browser, but i'd need a massive monitor to fully appreciate it.

I have a dilemma. During a sentence, do I use a lower case "i", or an upper case "I". As an example, in "i'm". Hmmm. It's not going to keep me awake at night, but it always does bother me when i'm typing.

Might blog a bit more later today. Who knows?!

Game Over

2008-12-29T13:26:00.001Z

Well - that's it. My "work" is complete, work-wise, for 2008.

I finished at 7am this morning and am not back in until sometime in January. Not exactly sure of the date, all i know is - it's not tomorrow.

I have just been playing a game of yes / no with my 19 month old son. Thinking about it - it's not really a game. I say yes to him, and he says no to me. Continue like that for 10 minutes or so, and that's it! It's a lovely way to spend 10 minutes, though.

Good to see Everton continue to climb the table, with a nice 3-0 win against Sunderland yesterday. God bless Mikel Arteta.

This morning, before leaving work, I installed a new browser on my laptop. I am a long-term user of Firefox, but I have decided to give Flock a go. I based my decision on my addiction to Facebook, and my new-found love of blogging and digging. I am even partial to the odd twitter every now and again. I'm not 100% convinced it's lovely just yet. I think i'll get there with it, though. I need to give it a bit of time, and get used to the way it works and tells me things.

I am taking some presents back today that I bought for my lovely wife. I think i might be THE most forgetful person ever to walk god's green earth. I bought presents that I'd already told other people to buy for her. I know how I end up doing it. I panic. I went shopping on the 24th, having convinced myself that she didnt' have enough gifts, and panic-bought. Of the 3 things I got for her, 2 were duplicates. Knob-head. I must buy her gifts in good time next year. I won't - but i'll want to.

Right then. I'd best be off. If I don't get moving now - i'll end up staying in all day, and my son needs milk, so that simply won't do.

Nobody reads my blog. It's so strange because I know nobody reads it, yet I still feel compelled to update it daily. I haven't told a soul I do this. It's not like it's some sort of twisted second-life I'm hiding from people. I don't secretly dress up as a woman or anything. I just keep (what I like to think of as..) an online diary. In my head, if all my family and friends knew about this, and read it, I don't think i'd put half the stuff on here that I have. It's a release for me. Oh wait - that sounds Iike I normally hold stuff back, and I don't think I do.

I've confused myself now.

I heard this time of year described as the perineum between Christmas and New Year. I like that. It made me laugh.

I will, at some point, be back.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Missing Days

2008-12-28T05:59:00.002Z

I'm nearing the end of a 12 hour night shift and the lady on Absolute Radio has just told me it's Sunday. It's Monday in my head. I'm confused.

I've eaten too much overnight. I had a meal at home before coming in, then we've shared a large pack of crisps, plus I was given some garlic bread. I'm stuffed.

I'll update this properly later on (hopefully).

I never did make it up Winter Hill yesterday, by the way. I (we) did walk along the canal tow path near my house, and saw some extremely drunken youths. It was no later than 11am, by the way. What time must they have started drinking??! As I got closer to them, one of them decided that he was going to jump in the canal. He would surely have met his maker within seconds, had his "friends" not talked him out of it. As he started to strip to make his jump, I felt in my pocket to make sure I had my mobile with me, thinking I was going to have to co-ordinate all the emergency services to fish this foolish individual out of the canal.

I realised yesterday that I'm not seeing my children until the 31st December. I thought it was the 30th. I'm disappointed about that. My wife and I are going to go shopping on the 30th, and spend some money that was gifted at Christmas.

This is the first time I've updated my blog in work, and I'm well nervous. Don't know why.

I'm growing a beard in January. A great big mans beard. None of this goatee crap. I want a David Bellamy. No particular reason behind it. I've always wanted to grow one, and my beautiful wife has said that she doesn't mind, so i'll give it a whirl!

Enough for now...

So that was Christmas...

2008-12-27T07:45:00.004Z

...and what have you done?

Me? I had a lovely Christmas day with my wife's family. My son, and my nephew had a great time playing with the boxes and wrapping paper that their presents came in. I got all sorts of nice presents, including.... a torch.

I am 34 years old, and (until now) don't have a torch of my own. Every time I have anticipated darkness, but have had a need to see in the darkness, I have had to borrow a torch from a friend or family member. That is a very sorry state of affairs in this day and age. But now - all has changed. I have a super shiny torch that has a beam visible for 1 mile. I am very happy indeed with my torch.

I am writing this entry on a very cold and crisp Saturday morning. I was up early today to perform the manly duty of defrosting my wife's car, so she can travel to work safely. I heard some bloke talking on a BBC Radio Lancashire podcast recently, about how using de-icer sprays on your car can erode the rubber seals around the car's windows, so I decided to heed his warning. I sat for 10 minutes in the car, with the heater on, and I can report back to you now that it is crap. Use de-icer instead - it works.

At the start of the Christmas day meal, I was presented with a lovely looking piece of beef and asked to carve it. I can honestly say, it's been years since I was so nervous. I went from feeling festive and jovial to worried sick in less than a second. I found myself having developed a lack of my ability to pass a knife through a piece of meat. What a tit. I need to learn to do that with confidence, as I am sure in years to come, when my own children come to our house for Christmas lunch, it will be me that does the carving.

Whilst my wife is in work this morning, (and when my sleepy 19 month old son eventually wakes up) my son and I are going out for a walk. Well - I'll be doing the walking and he will be in this baby carrier back-pack thingy that I have. If i let him do the walking, too, it would take us a whole day to go to the end of the street. Bless him, but at that age they are very easily distracted.

Anyway - back to the walk. I am planning to drive up to Winter Hill, between Horwich and Belmont. Park up, and walk up to the transmitters at the top. I will take the camera with me, and will hopefully get some nice photographs from up there, which (if i can be arsed), I will post to this very blog later today.

My dad never took photographs with a camera. He took snaps. Maybe he was the only one to take snaps, and to look at snaps, I don't know. I miss that word being used in that context. I miss him - and mum. I don't think I've told you about them yet? My mum died of cancer in 1987, and my dad died due to cirrhosis of the liver in 1998.

Obviously I miss them most days, but at times like this, it is much worse. You would think that after so long, I should have got over it, but I don't think you ever do get over these things. I think you always grieve for loved ones that you have lost, but in time, you learn to cope with, and live with the grief. The one thing that always surprises me is the way I deal with other people's grief. If a close friend loses someone close to them, I never get upset. I feel absolutely awful for them, but, I feel - numb. Numb is the only word I can find to describe the feeling. Now - is that because I am (to quote Alison Moyet) all cried out, or have my emotions adapted to block that feeling out? I don't know, but I always have to explain to people that I do feel for them, and to not misunderstand my apparent lack of emotion.

I am thirsty now, so I think I will go and prepare my first cup of tea of the day. I'm not a big tea drinker. I go through phases. Some days, I'll have none, others - I'll go mental and have 3, maybe 4. Living on the edge, I know(!)

Speaking of living on the edge, I was in bed by 10:30pm on Christmas night. I can't wait for my life to begin at 40.

Thanks to my wife and her family for an excellent Christmas. I hope we spend many more together in the future.

There goes my cherry

2008-12-24T21:27:00.002Z

So - this is it. My blogging cherry is well and truly popped.

Like most people, I've been reading blogs for the last few years. Some are pretty throwaway, others I have become more engrossed in. I feel like I have gotten to know a mancunian lesbian who blogs about every aspect of her life, most recently including the break up of her long term relationship. I really feel for her.

I have bookmarked another blog called PostSecret. I urge you to do the same. One read through the weekly updated scans of anonymous postcards will have you hooked, or will at very least make you stop and think.

A blog needs a purpose. The purpose of mine is to sound off. I work odd shifts, and my wife mostly works opposite shifts to mine, so there are times when I don't have anyone to sound off to. That is about to change.

A lot of people know me, but not very many of them at all actually know me. A few do, I admit that, but I am essentially a very private person who doesn't like to give too much away. I don't really know why - maybe it's a fear of being mocked or ridiculed for my thoughts and feelings. I'm shy, you see. But the majority of the people mentioned above who "know me", don't know that.

It's Christmas eve 2008. My wife and 1 year old son are in bed as they are unwell. Always seems to be the same at this time of year. I have 4 other children from my 1st marriage. They are spending Christmas day with their mother, but will be with us for New Years Eve. Sacrifices have to be made.

Tomorrow, we travel south to spend the day (and over-night) with my wife's family. My father-in-law has had a rough time of things recently, having been diagnosed with cancer. I am not going to go into details on here about it, but, thankfully, he'll be at home with us tomorrow.

If there ever is such a thing as a regular reader of this, you will become used to me flitting and changing subject regularly and with no particular direction. I think that that accurately reflects what goes on inside my head!

I went shopping a couple of days ago to ensure plentiful supplies of food and drink over Christmas. Only today did I realised that I hadn't got any champagne or smoked salmon for Christmas morning. It's a little extravagant, I know, but - it's once a year and it really is a lovely way to start a very special day. It sets you up just nicely for all the wonderful things that are to follow. Anyway, I ventured to my local ASDA Wal-Mart (it's a biggun) at lunchtime, and.... it was ok! They didn't have any smoked salmon, which was disappointing, but I got the champagne. Give them their due, they had every single checkout manned, and I even found an empty one! I could hardly believe it.

I've just entered a competition on TV to win over £26,000 worth of "gadgets". It has cost me £1.50, but I can totally justify that in my head. I never ever enter these things, but I am a firm believer in the fact that someone has to win!

For now, I will leave it there. I wish you and yours all the best for Christmas.